You know me, when I can't get a thought out of my head, when it just keeps going round and round, it's to the blog I turn. Now is one of those times.
So I could beat around the bush, but lets get right to the crux of it... I just got dumped. After 12 years!
Now it's only fair that I am clear about this, and honest from the start. We have been together a long time, and there are NO bad feelings between us. But there comes a time when sometimes it's just best to go your separate ways. On this occasion, it is one of them.
The past week hasn't been a good one really. Obvious something was up, dreading asking because of the suspicion it would be just this conversation. So this evening I decided to pluck up the courage, et voila, there is was.
If I'm honest, I have probably expected this for years now. I haven't always been fantastic to be around, routine was becoming a bit obvious it was a chore, and lets face facts, what pretty girl in her late 20's wants to be stuck with a chubby broken guy in his 40's lol.
I'm just messing. We have had a fantastic time over the past 12 years, and she has truly been my rock through some dreadful times in my life. Caring for mum, putting up with my depression, and being there when I needed someone to rely on. So thank you for all the good times, and sharing the bad times.
Hopefully this mature approach (other than me putting it all over the internet within 20 mins of her leaving) will protect the amazing friendship and bond we have built over the years. I know I am happy to stay as besties as long as its permitted, and hope the feeling is mutual.
So for all you mutual friends out there, no being mean, ya hear! There is no bad blood, nor will there be. So no sides need to be taken. If anyone does, I will take hers, and kick YOU to the kerb :)
However, and there is always a however in these blogs.... I'm left kinda wide open right now. Having not shed a tear in about 12-13 years, not being one for being overly emotional, dealing with things like this always catches me out somewhat. Heart racing, stomach churning, dry mouth, and a little confused, but no actual exit or show of emotion about the matter. Instead I will blog lots, toss and turn, and be mentally restless for however long it takes to "get over" the situation.
I in advance thank anyone who contacts me, offers to talk, lends an ear, or just sends their expression of sorrow about the matter. I appreciate it very much, and will reply asap, in usual fashion.
Right, I'm going to sit and sulk for a while now, I may be some time! Don't worry about me though, I'm not a fan of doing stupid things, other than publishing my life. So if I am quiet, I am probably just doing something on my own for a bit to catch some air.
So there you go, WOWZA I'm single! But don't have a bad feeling in me, so please don't either.