Sunday, June 2, 2013

Discomfort and pain

Many times when people talk about how 'painful' a tattoo is, suggesting some of the areas of the body I have had inked must have caused a great deal of pain, I joke and say tattoo's are not painful. But instead they cause discomfort when being done. For some this is hard to comprehend.

Over the past 6 or so years I have had a number of issues with my body (and mind for that matter), mainly my left arm. From tennis elbow through to trigger finger, and in later years gout.

My latest ailment, which I believe to be a bunion, or something similarly painful and fucked up, reminds me so very clearly why I call tattoo's uncomfortable rather than painful. Not only has one never caused me sensations like I am feeling right now. But also I define discomfort as something bearable, and that you can tolerate to reach a goal. THIS however is clearly pain, and something I want rid of now.

It's gone 1am, I have taken way more painkillers than you are meant to, and they are having no effect whatsoever. Deep breathing, meditation, distraction... nothing I know to do is working and I am truly at my wits end here.

I want the pain gone now, I don't want to feel like this anymore. It's been almost 4 days now of varying levels of discomfort all the way up to fist clenching, eye watering pain, and that's there level I'm at right now. Helpless is how I feel, and I don't know how much more of it I can take.

The thought that the earliest possible appointment with any GP at my surgery is at least 36 hours away, and probably even longer if I see my own doctor. Then god only knows how long it will take from then to see a specialist, and go from there. In the meantime I can only hope that this spike in pain passes and things calm down.

Regardless of how gruesome the pictures of surgery for bunions are, no matter how long the recovery period is.. If that's that I have, then I would take the surgery in a heartbeat right now.

My whole body is tense from the adjusting of how I walk, having to lay with my leg elevated and all other side effects. I just want to relax, sleep and be pain free now!


Sent from my BlackBerry Q10

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