Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Help is at hand.

Today is the day of help. With Virgin due to come and look at the phone line, and an appointment to see the family worker at St Christophers today, all seems well. With 2 things like that in one day, things will start to move along for me again soon I hope.

Phone line you say, what's so special about a phone line? Well that's really quite simple, its for mums LinkLine panic button system. Once that is up and working I will have a little more peace of mind for times like when I am out walking the dogs, knowing she is just a button press away from help.
As well of course as getting a phone service I'm paying for, that will be nice too.

As for the family worker, well that's for me. Someone to speak to about where my mind it at right now, and start finding a way to get back on the straight and narrow, as well as getting back into a good sleep pattern. I have an hour with her today to cover off all the things that are bothering me etc, and from there she can see if there is anything they can do to help, counselling, therapy, locking me up and throwing away the key!

So what else is going on today. Well first there is mum. Since stopping her steroid tablets (4 week course since she went into hospital now ended) she is sleeping. The nurse had said they had a slight upper effect, giving an energy kick, so its possible that without them she is just rather tired. Although yesterday when I tried to wake her it was quite difficult, so I am a little concerned too. Hopefully I can get some clarification on this, and maybe even look at her remaining on a small dose daily just so she has some energy.

Me, well I'm still the opposite. After getting up and staying up yesterday, towards the evening I felt tiredness creeping in and thought "yay, sleep" however when it came to the crunch, it didn't happen. I am sleeping, but its a big effort getting there, and I don't think I am reaching deep sleep. Almost sleeping with one eye (ear) open for mum needing me.
I considered a nap while the carer was here this morning, but instead just lay listening, then got up.

I have however managed to get a good walk in with the dogs this morning, lots of fresh air and clear thoughts, which is a good thing. Still trying to find that daily routine to stick with, but for now just getting pieces of it right feels good. Still eating crap, piling on the weight, so the exercise is welcomed.

I wrote a to-do list last week, and have finally managed to do one of the things from the list. Its as simple as posting a letter, but just finding the mental energy to write the envelope has been a challenge, as daft as that sounds. That's what I'm facing right now, and kind of explains where my mind is at the moment... If its for me, I can't be bothered, if its for anyone else, I feel obliged.

Right, enough whining, I'm off to get some bits done :)

Have a good day.

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