Let's address the elephant in the room first, me and Facebook. You may, or may not have seen a recent status which says I am deleting everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, from my friends list. I am not sulking, trying to get attention, or passively dump a few people off the list, it is simply something I have needed to do for a long time now.
There are people on these who passed away, some quite a few years ago now, there are people I no longer speak with, others are there for the sake of being there, and then there are those poor souls I bore the shit out of with my whining and rambling.
So in this process, I will avoid the awkwardness some might feel about deleting me for being a tad irritating, I will clear out the people who are pointless on being there, and I will most importantly move on from my past.
The crunch comes with the decision not to add anyone back after deleting them. It's not a popularity contest, I am not hoping that within 5 days I will have hundreds of friend requests and feel all special about myself. Quite simply I guess, I don't want to impose myself on anyone, and have them feel obligated to accept my request. I am sure over time I will start adding people again, but for now, it's all about a fresh start for me, and those on the list at present.
Let me be very clear here, no one has done anything wrong, no one has caused this decision. Although recent events have certainly helped confirm my decision is the right one. Anyone adding me will be accepted, I have no grudges or crosses to bear.
One of the main factors in this decision has been me. Over sharing, being annoying, or just spending too much time on there trying to connect, and be someone. But what I have noticed is once again the internet is consuming me, and I am living to appease others. Not through their demands, but through my own desire to make people laugh, keep people on side, and whatever other sad reasons you can think of for being a tiny internet celebrity to a small captive audience.
Looking back, I realise that I am more open than most, and while not bottling things up is a good thing, spewing it all over the place like hot lava, to a group of people who don't actually care about whatever medical issue, emotional problem etc I am having. Some do of course, and the engagement is brilliant, so thank you to anyone who does. But for the majority I am just the one that posts something good one out of twenty times.
Then there is life off the internet. Health in general. Changing my food intake. Something I have struggled to get a handle on for a long time now, but as I am going through this moment, I suddenly feel empowered and determined to make it count. I am not getting any younger, and have already had my fair share of issues with my health, and there are more to follow I am sure. Of course I will avoid sharing any more of those, but at the same time I want to look after myself more.
While still on the matter of health, it isn't just eating right, but also getting the right levels of exercise. Something I have done well at in the past, but over and over let it slide because of lifestyle choices. I am not saying it will be perfection from here on in, far from it. But the last 6 or so months have been big for changes for me, so why not embrace it and do what I have needed to do for a long time.
LOOK AFTER MYSELF !
I have recently taken on a whole new perspective on friendships with genuine friends, and there is a group of people out there who have made a big difference. You know who you are if I have seen you recently, you are one of them. From heart to heart chats, to simple hugs, and of course some great words of wisdom and kicks in the pants. It has all been important, and all led me to this point I am at today.
OK so all the above is pretty positive, so lets drop a mood bomb. The past 48 hours have sucked big time, with me overcomplicating things, over thinking, and of course over reacting to events. I won't lie and say otherwise, and I am sorry to anyone I have ignored, or been quiet with over that time. It was, and is about me, not you.
It is also the reason that after deleting my friends list on Facebook, I will deactivate the account for a while. Probably putting it back on around Monday or Tuesday at the soonest. I need to relax and have some time to myself, without getting caught up on the goings on in the world of Facebook. So IF you are going to re-add me, I would say leave it til Tuesday to save searching for me.
I believe I am easy to find when the account is active by using the URL with /snazy at the end. So something like facebook.com/snazy .
For now I am going to go and hide from social media a bit more, and rethink how I will tackle it when I return. There will be changes for sure.
In the meantime I remain on BBM / Whatsapp / SMS / email
Once again, it's nothing personal to anyone, hope people understand.