Me and my health.

The good news is, mentally I am fine. Phew, that's a relief.

However physically, things are a little more grim for me.
The first couple of months of the year I have struggled with foot pain. To the point where shoes and walking were a no no. Occasionally venturing out on the bike, desperate to keep my legs spinning, only to be rewarded with even worse foot pain.

With that now somewhat under control, my body thought long and hard, before giving me the next challenge. Delivered in a gold envelope by a smug looking twat in a lab coat, no wait, that's Top Gear...
Over the past few weeks, both at work and at home, people have commented on me breathing heavily. At the same time I have noticed that I labour a little with certain tasks. Usually walking or climbing stairs. Up until this time, I have been fine, walked at a good pace, climbed stairs with no issue. (Remember taking the stairs to the 22nd floor at Guys Hospital?). So obviously this has caused some concern for me.

This time of year, a lot of people with asthma (like me) struggle a little more with hayfever and other allergies causing complications. But for me that usually appears along with a chesty cough getting me all blocked up. This time, nothing. Antihistamines don't seem to help either, again they usually would. And finally my inhaler has little if no effect whatsoever.

To just spice things up a little more, my body decided to throw heart palpitations in the mix too. It's all the chest, right! Now as an avid cyclist, who strangely during all this, can actually still cycle like a nutter (confusing right!) I see my heart rate quite a lot, and push my body quite hard. Nothing abnormal shows on my HR, and there are no unexpected weaknesses or shortness of breath etc.

On speaking to my GP, he has arranged for a set of tests to be run. Bloods, heart trace, and a breathing function test. First two are done, 12 lead ECG appears fine, bloods we will see, and breathing function is being tested at the weekend. Hopefully they will point at something, as it would be a lie to say it doesn't concern me slightly. If not, the tests go on, to see what is going on in there.

I reminded myself to write this on the way back from the shops just now. Slow steady pace walking, warm but not uncomfortable day, 1 mile or so round trip. Being overtaken by people with walking trolleys, and feeling like I am labouring to carry on. Taking my heart rate on the way around, nothing shocking to see. 80-85 bpm, which is pretty good going for the conditions. Made the trip fine, but this is just one of many journeys on foot which I have made and struggled with.

The confusing part is, it can be walking or getting up that temporarily knocks me for six. But cycling, I can go on forever. The GP suggested, as expected, that weight may be a contributing factor, which I completely accept. I am indeed overweight, but should add I have not gained weight in months, so why suddenly now feel this way. And why do some less intense activities affect me worse than being bent over cycling?

Right now, it's all a mystery to me, and everyone else, but hopefully there will be some answers soon.

So that is my little update. Thanks for reading.

Giving in to the pain.

A couple of months back my back started playing up more than ever. Most noticeably the amount of times I would have to stretch my back out while  walking the dogs. From it being slow and delicate to bend over at the end of the walk to take my shoes off,  it became necessary to bend,  squat and stretch a number of times mid walk. At that point it all became enough and I went to see a chiropractor.

Prior to this point,  I suspended all running after my June 12th run at the Olympic Park. So to date it has been 35 days since I ran. And 28 since my June 19th London to Brighton Bike ride. Fair to say that the after effects of the run were not nice, but the bike ride impact wasn't as harsh.

Here I am after no training of any sort for 4 weeks,  now 2 weeks away from the epic,  long planned Pru London 100 Ride,  with no mental or  physical energy to think about doing it,  let alone managing it. Another day I had planned to see if I can manage a ride, and it's a no go.

In the last 4 weeks the situation has got worse and worse, to the point where today I have discovered that if I don't stand up straight, the pain is less. So since waking up today I have either stayed in bed, or walked around hunched over. Sitting awkwardly on the sofa now writing this,  my brain is convinced that going back to bed it the right thing to do,  as otherwise it means pain and discomfort.  So far I have resisted medication today,  as I am trying to get a feel of what is really going on inside my body. That and the fact I'm still very uncomfortable even on meds.

Right now,  this very second I am happy just to give up and do nothing. Avoid the shooting sensations and stabbing pains,  no more taking a shot to the balls. Just lay awkwardly and pretend all is well.

With a trip to the doctor booked for the 28th, something tells me I will be asking for an emergency appointment this week. Maybe even in the morning. It's just becoming stupid to try and hang on any longer now. One wrong move and the after effects stay with me for hours. That's no way to live for sure. Trouble is, having the get up and go to do anything about it is fast becoming a fight on its own. Mindset is still very much "sit still,  it will go away".

Thinking back the other day I realised that one of my falls from my bike a few weeks back was onto the hip giving me all the problems right now,  so was also contemplating going to a walk in centre or something, to get checked out properly to see if that started the progression of this problem in any way. I get the impression the GP will send me to hospital or refer me anyway,  so maybe cut out the middleman?

So hard to decide. I can control the pain by limiting movement,  so am not in immediate pain. Controlling and limiting movement for the next 11 days might be a bit excessive. A GP will send me for tests anyway,  so maybe hospital is the place to start. But then long term pain which doesn't require immediate intervention is more a GP thing,  right?

All a minefield really.

Meanwhile in the back of my head there is an argument going on. After all the sponsorship I have received and all the work I have done towards the 100 mile ride,  can I still do it a d save face? I did London to Brighton ok, so maybe this won't be so bad? Or maybe I will cripple myself by doing it? I don't want to let people down,  I don't want to be a failure to myself or others. I feel obligated to at least try. But to try and fail would be devastating.

How can one physical ailment cause this much unrest for me!

I am starting to think that this pain is bigger than  what the chiropractor can sort,  maybe something worse. Or maybe me not mentioning the accident might have pointed her in the wrong direction to treat me? Whatever the case,  I definitely need to speak to other people about it to get other possible issues checked out.

Guess tomorrow decides what I do next. Until then I am stuck stooping around,  eating convenient junk,  gaining weight again,  feeling disappointed and cheated.