24 hours without pain or meds!

Quite surprising really, but at the same time, I guess I have learned how to cope too.
Deciding yesterday morning that I would NOT take any more anti inflammatory tablets until I felt physical discomfort. Until now I have done the usual and stayed ahead of the curve. Taking them at regular intervals to keep it all minimal. There has definitely been some discomfort in that time, so it was not pointless.

However, I'm trying to go easy on my body, and avoid taking excessive amounts. I discussed with the GP how I should continue from this point re medication and what to expect from the recovery process. The decisions were simple, carry on doing what I am doing. Stretching, exercising gently, resting where possible and taking meds as and when required, when the sensations start to register.

This morning, as I was med free, I decided against taking the dogs on a walk, just in case I jarred something, and instead took myself for a gentle walk. Planning about 3 miles, which I am used to running in about 27 mins, or walking in 48-50, it took me just shy of an hour today. That included a couple of stop and stretches, as things were getting tight. But the pace was literally 3 mph. Expecting to suffer for doing this, I came home and got into some yoga stretches, releasing the tension from my lower back and shoulders.

It was a good decision, and within 10 mins of getting home, I was once again relaxed, with no tightness in my back. To the point where I am catching myself out bending down to do things with the ease I once did so. It's a good feeling to be able to get on with things without worry or pain.

That said, it's not all rosey. There is some discomfort still, and I know a lot of the current lack of pain is down to a lack of activity too. I'm not going to say I am healed or fully recovered, and won't be able to either until I have returned to running and cycling.
This weekend I will miss the Prudential 100 which I had so looked forwards to doing, but I know it is for the best. However I want to be back in the saddle soon.  I feel like I am really missing out on summer and some amazing adventures.

I won't be rushing though, once with this is enough for me, and my road ahead will include doing everything I can to avoid a re-occurrence of this. Having gained weight, I now realise how well I was doing. Yo-yo'ing isn't usually quite this quick, so rapidly regaining some weight really puts a toll on the body which has got used to being without it very quickly.
Needless to say I am doing everything I can to lose it again ASAP. Back to healthy(ish) eating already, Monday will show if it is working as it is my first checkpoint.

I am hoping that in the next 14 days I can forget about taking pills unless I do anything strenuous, and that in the same time-frame I can do some running at home on the treadmill, (and some cross trainer for quads and glutes), and some short and gentle rides on the bikes. At least start to normalise my activities, so as my body repairs, it repairs the right way, allowing for these movements. Rather than healing, and THEN getting used to joint movements all over again.

Tomorrow I have a review meeting with my chiropractor, who has been instrumental in this recovery progress. Releasing the tension in my back, allowing the muscles to come out of spasm, and start to repair themselves. Thanks to Noel for the recommendation. I should come away with exercises to do, based on my goals moving forwards. Some of which have already been discussed, and fit in nicely with the Track Yoga program I am following at the moment, which alone has had a big impact on my morning stiffness, and helped me start my day the right way.

All in all, this is the most positive I have felt for months now, and can't wait to get moving properly again. My Garmin weekly summary is really up on what it has been for weeks now.

Hopefully I can get the whole screen full of those bars in the next couple of weeks, and really start to burn some calories, and get the miles in.

Speaking of moving and steps, I have also discovered that 2 pairs of my trainers are possibly causing me issues too, turning my feet in, which would in turn stress my hips and glutes. Needless to say they are on their way to the bin now.
Its annoying and confusing though, as the pair of trainers I first started running in, Nikes in a UK 9.5 were pinching my toe after the first couple of months of running, but otherwise were perfect. Being logical, I replaced them with a UK 10 of the same shoe... Which has decided to have no inner support, and allows the feet to roll in.  Half a size, huge difference.

So now I am left wondering. Replacing another of my pairs of trainers, which are currently feeling OK, but wearing as if they are a tiny bit short... Do I go with the 9.5 again, or up them to a UK 10 too, and run the risk they will be totally different too. . Decisions decisions. Currently tempted to buy in both sizes and see how they both fair. Nike Lunar Forever are lovely ! I am sure I will do something totally irrational over the weekend. But will be discussing this with the chiropractor tomorrow also.

So that is me for now, on the mend, itching to get going, but all under control. Here's to upping the distances and speeds slowly and safely over the coming weeks, and riding properly by the end of August.

Thanks for reading, and take care of your back.

Giving in to the pain.

A couple of months back my back started playing up more than ever. Most noticeably the amount of times I would have to stretch my back out while  walking the dogs. From it being slow and delicate to bend over at the end of the walk to take my shoes off,  it became necessary to bend,  squat and stretch a number of times mid walk. At that point it all became enough and I went to see a chiropractor.

Prior to this point,  I suspended all running after my June 12th run at the Olympic Park. So to date it has been 35 days since I ran. And 28 since my June 19th London to Brighton Bike ride. Fair to say that the after effects of the run were not nice, but the bike ride impact wasn't as harsh.

Here I am after no training of any sort for 4 weeks,  now 2 weeks away from the epic,  long planned Pru London 100 Ride,  with no mental or  physical energy to think about doing it,  let alone managing it. Another day I had planned to see if I can manage a ride, and it's a no go.

In the last 4 weeks the situation has got worse and worse, to the point where today I have discovered that if I don't stand up straight, the pain is less. So since waking up today I have either stayed in bed, or walked around hunched over. Sitting awkwardly on the sofa now writing this,  my brain is convinced that going back to bed it the right thing to do,  as otherwise it means pain and discomfort.  So far I have resisted medication today,  as I am trying to get a feel of what is really going on inside my body. That and the fact I'm still very uncomfortable even on meds.

Right now,  this very second I am happy just to give up and do nothing. Avoid the shooting sensations and stabbing pains,  no more taking a shot to the balls. Just lay awkwardly and pretend all is well.

With a trip to the doctor booked for the 28th, something tells me I will be asking for an emergency appointment this week. Maybe even in the morning. It's just becoming stupid to try and hang on any longer now. One wrong move and the after effects stay with me for hours. That's no way to live for sure. Trouble is, having the get up and go to do anything about it is fast becoming a fight on its own. Mindset is still very much "sit still,  it will go away".

Thinking back the other day I realised that one of my falls from my bike a few weeks back was onto the hip giving me all the problems right now,  so was also contemplating going to a walk in centre or something, to get checked out properly to see if that started the progression of this problem in any way. I get the impression the GP will send me to hospital or refer me anyway,  so maybe cut out the middleman?

So hard to decide. I can control the pain by limiting movement,  so am not in immediate pain. Controlling and limiting movement for the next 11 days might be a bit excessive. A GP will send me for tests anyway,  so maybe hospital is the place to start. But then long term pain which doesn't require immediate intervention is more a GP thing,  right?

All a minefield really.

Meanwhile in the back of my head there is an argument going on. After all the sponsorship I have received and all the work I have done towards the 100 mile ride,  can I still do it a d save face? I did London to Brighton ok, so maybe this won't be so bad? Or maybe I will cripple myself by doing it? I don't want to let people down,  I don't want to be a failure to myself or others. I feel obligated to at least try. But to try and fail would be devastating.

How can one physical ailment cause this much unrest for me!

I am starting to think that this pain is bigger than  what the chiropractor can sort,  maybe something worse. Or maybe me not mentioning the accident might have pointed her in the wrong direction to treat me? Whatever the case,  I definitely need to speak to other people about it to get other possible issues checked out.

Guess tomorrow decides what I do next. Until then I am stuck stooping around,  eating convenient junk,  gaining weight again,  feeling disappointed and cheated.

100 mile fit in 2 weeks?

I am left wondering if with all the pain I am having in my lower back and hips,  I can actually even consider taking part in the Pru 100 Ride at the end of the month.
Overall I know I have reached 100 mile fit,  but with the recent break from training due to injury /pain,  the question remains,  can I repair AND spring back quick enough?

It's a pain in the arse as I have been working towards this ride for months,  and really want it under my belt. I know I can cycle even with my back like this,  as I did the London to Brighton,  but do I try it. Is it worth starting when I know I might not finish?

Decisions!

Oh bollox!

Literally!
After my short bout of fever on my return to the UK,  my ongoing back pain is back in full effect,  and then some.

Having spent the majority of the past 10 days crouching,  bending,  squatting or just plain laying down. (contrary to what the sheer volume of pictures taken may suggest),  now I am back home and resting,  more issues have come to light.

After some careful research, whilst being quite concerned about testicular pain, new information has come to light. It goes by the name of "associated lower back, buttock, hip and testicle pain", and it's symptoms present perfectly. The downside of this research is that while its existence is clearly documented, treatment or proper diagnosis is not! With lots of  suggestions of various areas of the spine being to blame.

What I can confirm is that sudden onset of pain like you have just been kicked in the nuts is NOT nice. Out of the blue,  like a switch being flicked (or a testicle) boom, there it is.
Any change of gradient being walked on produces huge strain and pain on my lower back and abdomen. Cramping so badly I have to stop walking, or do breathing exercises like I am I  labour!

Today for example I tried to walk the dogs quickly up the road and back,  a normal 10 min walk took double the time. Unable to walk anywhere near my normal speed,  pausing or slowing to ease the pain as it sets in. Stretching out no longer seems to have the desired effect. Usually a crouch or toe touch and hold would ease it for a while,  but not anymore. Tried them all,  nothing.

Sitting / laying on the sofa now writing this,  I am constantly trying to get comfortable, with very little joy. Ball ache and hip pain while doing nothing is quite disconcerting to say the least. Just biding my time til I can take more pain relief,  and hoping the next pill works. It's rather hit and miss right now if they have any effect at all.

Annoyingly one of the best ways to get comfortable is to go to sleep,  so whenever the pills do work,  and I am relaxed enough,  they make me drowsy,  and I take the opportunity to go to bed. I spent a lot of time in bed in Spain,  and that doesn't look to change now I am home,  not any time soon anyway.

Now I have more information on the situation and can actually articulate to medical people what I am feeling, I hope this will help me head down the right path to find some relief from it. Not hedging my bets on it being possible to totally eliminate and cure the situation (but hopeful all the same), I am just looking for ways to manage it, to at least allow be to get back on my bike,  as I know running is a no go for me for a while yet.
Also to know what damage I will do if I participate in any activities is good to know. Much as it was with all the issues with my arm,  hand,  achillies etc.

Right now I am left feeling rather sorry for myself,  and like I have aged 30 years in the past few weeks.

I have chiropractor again next week,  as I missed my appointment yesterday due to my temp still being over 100f, it didn't seem wise to try and drive or endure the treatment. Maybe with  the new information I can present her,  she can use that to help. Who knows.

In the meantime, I am counting down the days to seeing the GP,  and gathering more and more information and advice. See if self help is in any way beneficial. If I can get to the GP any sooner I will,  but I don't feel it warrants a queue jumping emergency appointment right now. Braving it out.  Not sure if that's wise,  but fits with my moral guidelines.

So,  watch this space for updates on my balls! And of course back,  hip and buttocks.

Bloody back pain !

For many years now I have had a tight lower back (LB). Standing around for too long or going for long but slow walks would result in tension in my LB. Easily fixed usually with a few stretches and all would be well again, leaving a dull ache.
More recently with being a lot more active, a lot of that has gone away. My achillies tendon issues have cleared up, my asthma is far less troubling, and in general my body is far less problematic than it has been in the past. Sure there have been achy days after a long run or ride, but nothing out of the ordinary.

However, more recently I have been struggling, quite a lot in fact.
A couple of months ago I started going back to physio for tight glutes and LB. The massages and exercises were helping to a degree, but as the weeks went on, it was clear that the main root of the pain was not going away, in fact, it was getting worse.

I have reached the point in the last couple of weeks where even walking the dogs has actually become painful, and I have to stop and stretch out 2-3 times in a 25 min walk. And I am talking, full on squatting and stretching my back right out, not just a quick bend, or flex of the back. Side stretches as well, trying to alleviate the pain from my hips, which is deep set.

It is hard to actually determine where the pain is coming from. Note I am using the word pain, rather than ache or discomfort. This is truly one of the worst feelings I have ever had. After a short walk the thought of walking up stairs, or bending down for something is horrible.
Anyway, it seems to be coming from my LB then radiating out into my hips. Tight hip flexors and glutes sets in, then all around my hips tightens up to the point of no movement.

Finally realising that physio was not going to get to the root of the problem, I started looking at specialists. If you have never done so before, it is really quite confusing. Chiropractor or Osteopath ? Who does what, and who should be seen with what ailment? Eventually, after a lot of confusing guidance by others, I settled with a recommendation from a friend to see a Chiropractor in Beckenham.

Knowing it is a long journey so to speak, I was ready for the long haul with them. On my first appointment I had no idea what to expect, it was a completely new experience for me. Thankfully the Chiropractor was well versed in explaining what they do, and with model in hand, spent 10 minutes explaining to me how problems with the spine can affect our muscles and organs throughout the body. Finally the penny was starting to drop about how one thing could be affecting another so badly.

After the explanation, we moved on to the examination. This surprised me no end. I have read about pressure points, trigger points, reflexes etc, but never really paid too much attention to how it all works. So as I lay there being prodded and pressed in various places, I was astounded with how pressure on a part of the back could affect the strength in my arm and shoulder, and various other combinations.

After the examination,  the Chiropractor explained what she had found, and was pleased to tell me she didn't think it was anything too serious, and that it was within her ability to get me back on my feet. Great news! 20 minutes later, and some twisting, contorting and a whole load of back cracking took place, and my upper back suddenly felt a lot looser. Very nice feeling indeed. Sadly there was still a lot of discomfort in the bottom half. A few nice pops were had from the LB too, but nothing substantial.

Warned I would feel it later, I took little notice, but sure enough, I was in for a surprise.
Making my next appointment, for the next day, I was told to expect to need four to six more appointments to see any significant difference.
The next day I was back on the table, and after some cracking, and testing, we talked through the progress and expectations of treatment. Now more than aware that soreness was a part of the package, applying an ice pack to the treated area post treatment was now a must in my books.

The program of treatment was set as six appointments, with the last being a review point to see how we are going. The hope is that half way into the treatment, I will be given some exercises and be able to assist by doing some of the work at home.

Trying to walk for any distance right now is a non starter, the brain just starts to switch off any interest in where I am going, and just want to stop, take ibuprofen, and lay down. Which is what I have been doing a lot of funnily enough. I went to the shops before work yesterday, 10 mins each way, and by the time I reached the office, the thought of climbing the two short flights of stairs to get to the office was almost overwhelming. Not comfortable at all, and very slow.

Needless to say I need to get out of this situation, and fast. It is playing havoc with my exercise routines, leaving me in bed til late in the morning, not wanting to start the stiffness in motion. Having to lay or sit in weird positions is not very pleasant at all, so the shorter the day, the better for me.

I am off to see the Chiropractor this evening, and then twice a week for the next 2 weeks. I am hoping as things start to ease up, treating the LB will be a bit easier. It feels like it has a huge pop in it that is waiting to happen. But from listening to what I am being told, it is most likely far more muscular than anything else, and the signals the muscles are receiving are causing them to spasm, causing the pain. Which also explains why what feels like a bone ache, can be stretched out in ways I have learned to do.

All in all, it really isn't much fun at all. So to cover all the bases I am seeing a GP tomorrow too. As some have suggested that there are sometimes underlying issues which can lead to this sort of pain, I want to eliminate all that I can. I doubt I will be lucky enough to have a scan, but a referral would be nice, just to make sure things are not more serious than they appear.

So for now, it is painkillers and rest, with lots of sulking and being bored. Although strangely cycling doesn't seem to affect me too badly, so that is one saving grace. Now if only it would be dry enough to ride, things would not be so bad.

Here's to lots of crunchy, crackling goodness at the Chiropractor tonight.

For reference, I am being treated by Christine Bakker at

http://www.beckenhamchiropractors.com/
Beckenham Clinic
366 Croydon Road
Beckenham, BR3 4EX
Telephone: 020 8663 3878
beckenhamchiropractors@gmail.com

Wild ramblings for Monday

I have a quiet period in my day, and a head full of things that are praying on my mind, so I thought I would unload a few of them onto the poor unsuspecting readers of the blog (both of you!)

First up, my bloody back! I have spent the weekend taking ibuprofen by the bucket load just to keep mobile. I am pretty sure running a 5k at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park has not helped matters, but in fairness it did give me half an hour of relief after the run. So small mercies eh!
The more it develops, the more I realise that I need to get some professional help with it. Starting in the middle of my lower back, then travelling as far as down my thighs now, it is clear it's getting worse.
I have reached the point now where after a short walk, stairs are just not possible without stopping to squat and stretch out first.
Advice varies, from chiropractor to osteopath, and even long term maintenance with pilates or yoga. Whatever the case, I need to get my finger out soon and do it, especially with the London to Brighton ride coming up this weekend.

Speaking of exercise, that is my next gripe.
Since my huge lows of the end of last year, I have fought back with exercise. Keeping myself busy, fit and exhausted with a regime of running, cycling and working out at home. Sadly, the back problems have really affected my ability to do much of any of the above, which in turn has had a huge impact on my mental health. Tired, unmotivated, reluctant to get going for the day. Too long in bed, grazing all day. None of which is helpful to the situation with my back. I am sure the first thing any medical practitioner says when I present with lower back pain is "you are over weight"
Now don't get me wrong here, I am not bed bound, and I still manage to run from time to time and ride when I get the chance. I am far from a couch potato. But the inability to do as much as I want to do, leaves my stats falling behind, my PB's flailing, and my pride taking a real beating.

The introduction of my new fitness gadget, my Garmin Forerunner 230 has helped a little. Now able to run without my phone for Strava, and have my HR available to me on my wrist (with HR chest band), and to be able to monitor my activities has been a booster. On the flip side, looking at my 5k times, and seeing myself 4 mins or so off my normal pace makes me realise the situation I am in, and has also made me accept I need to do something about it. I haven't lost that much time through nothing, my body is clearly suffering right now.

If I can get anything done in time, i.e the next 4 days is another matter. I am caught up, do I get treatment and hope it doesn't leave me too uncomfortable to do the ride on Sunday? Or do I hold off on treatment until next week, then risk doing the ride and failing because of the back pain? Just a bit of info, the back pain has not yet reared its ugly head while riding, so to date is not an issue.
Both chiro and osteo are new things to me, so I don't know what to expect from either. After effects, restrictions, or how soon to feel the benefits. I don't actually fully understand the differences either, but am doing my best to educate myself now.

The next one is a weird one really. Local community. What does that phrase mean to you? If you are
doing something for and in the name of the community you live in, should it involve everyone within that community, or just the clique you choose to associate with. Those people who share your ideals and beliefs?
Having run an online community for a good few years, encompassing a lot of the UK, it was always important to start with an open mind as to what to expect from so many different groups of people. The UK as a whole is a pretty diverse place. Seeing some of the randomness that people would post on the forum was always interesting. Granted this was quite a young audience with cars in common, but there was always scope for the wild card topics which would for some reason be driven by emotive responses, and passionate beliefs. Had we insisted that the forum only be used for car related topics, and imposed rules prohibiting certain subjects, I don't think we would all have ever gotton to know each other the way we did.
Remember this is a forum which had a direct effect on marriages and the birth of kids! So it wasn't all childish humour.

I guess what I am trying to say is, what makes a community is knowing who people are, and accepting they may have different opinions to you own, but still feeling comfortable engaging with them.

Anyway, back to me....
Well there isn't much more really, I am just currently feeling lazy and down. The back issue is really holding me back with a lot of things.
Each day I get up wanting to get things done, but the knowledge that my back will start hurting within 10-15 mins puts me off. My existence feels very slow and lazy right now. Usually a feeling I get when in depression, but this is clearly driven by something else, and thankfully I know what.

I guess really I should start looking for a local specialist to twist me into weird shapes and make my body make noise to feel a bit better. My lower back feels like it has a MASSIVE crack or pop hidden within it. I just want to believe that it is as simple as that, but am pretty sure it is not.
The areas the pain is referring to now are just silly. Even writing this now I am noticing my posture is changing to allow some relief for my lower back, so in turn my shoulders are getting tight now.

Right, that's it! I'm off to find someone to sort this out.

Pain pain go away!

After some soul searching yesterday, I started to realise something, something quite important. I think that the downturn in my mood and energy is because of my lower back pain. It started years ago when walking, I would get severe tightness in my lower back and glutes, and find it hard to bend down to undo my shoes after getting home. Having instead to slowly stretch it out before I could bend again.
When I got really active early this year, it went away for a bit, or maybe was masked by other aches and pains from running, training and riding. Either way, its back, and with vengeance!
Yesterday while walking the dogs I really struggled to keep going. The sensation transitioning from discomfort to pain. Cutting the second walk a little short in fact. Later in the morning I was in great discomfort just walking up a flight of stairs. Again, just the lower back area, but now travelling into my hips.

This morning, waking in discomfort, I walked the dogs, took some pills and went back to bed for an hour, just so not to have to put up with it for the next hour.

So this got me thinking, and subsequently realising... It is my lower back, and the problems with it which is affecting my mood. It makes me not want to get up in the morning, spend a lot of time not moving, and as a by-product of that, leaves me eating convenient food, as both easy and comfort. So that really puts my mind at rest a lot. Automatically takes the pressure of me, worrying that it is all a mental state, when looking at it from afar, it's clearly not.


The big question now is, what the hell is wrong with my back?
Having seen a physio a few times, and checking for basic nerve issues, muscular issues etc, there is nothing alarming immediately presenting itself. A little relief is found from massage and releases, but the root cause of it all doesn't go away.
Laying on my left side, I can't have my right leg in front of me, as it irritates my glute / hip area.

My thinking on it is it can't be anything other than a soft tissue issue as it subsides with certain stretches. If it were joint of skeletal there would be no such relief?
Ibuprofen regularly helps control the discomfort levels, so again points to inflammation of something soft. At the end of the day, I think what all this means is, I am going to have to go through the long process of seeing my GP, and possibly being referred for investigation.

As much as I want to avoid going to a GP these days, I am getting to the stage now where I have to get it under control. Strangely however, if I run or cycle it's fine for the duration and some time after.  All very strange.

I am left battling myself now, is it the reduction in activity which is making me ache. Would returning to being very active help? Or is it the activities I have been doing over the past months, which has aggravated the area to this new level of pain and discomfort?

Whatever the case, the feeling is making me miserable as hell, and I want it under control. Preferably sorted rather than numbed with strong pain killers. Depending of course if there is a solution for it. Hopefully nothing too back, and something a specialist can bend, crack and knock out of me!

Really is amazing how your physical and mental states can affect the other. And once again I am grateful to having the calm state of mind when needed, to sit back, consider all the aspects of what is going on, and realise the truth (eventually) rather than constantly beating myself up about how I feel.

Thanks to Sarah for the chat this morning and making me think a little harder about why I am miserable, thanks for noticing too lol.

For now, until I can get an appointment sorted, I think I will try and increase my activity levels a bit, and spend some more time with stretches and weights to give everything a good workout and shake down. With some more sporting events just around the corner, I have to get able bodied enough to get my groove on.

Here's to getting my back sorted and under control once and for all.

Breaking point.

The past month or so I have found peace or at least relaxation in walking. Silly distances a day,  with and without the dogs.  Blisters,  sore feet,  back pain etc,  but it's all been worth it to silence my mind. Being exhausted at the end of the day is a good thing as I sleep better.

Unfortunately with my track record it was never going to last,  and now I find myself trying to find a new balance between resting and walking. The soreness has caught up with me,  and the mornings are now filled with dread at the thought of walking. Sadly that also means I am losing the enthusiasm to get up now.

After seeing the company doctor the other day and discussing medication doses,  it all seems to go hand in hand. The lack of interest in the mornings the dip in moods again,  and the struggle to keep walking.

Somehow I need to rearrange things so I can keep working on having a clearer mind with less anxiety,  and being able to exercise the dogs, and myself,  without resorting to self inflicted pain.

Should be fun,  new week,  new challenge. Lets see how that goes.

Learning to walk again

For once, not a metaphor.
Following years of pain in my feet, mainly in my Achilles tendons, I finally decided to go to see the doctor about it. Coinciding with a flare up of gout, and with pain in the same region being hard to differentiate, I needed to know what was what. So as the gout subsided and the pain remained in my Achillies, I got the doctor to check them out. The diagnosis, Achillies Tendinopathy, aka a swelling and stiffness in the tendon, causing pain and difficulty walking. Anyone who reads this blog a lot will know, I LOVE walking! It is a huge part of my daily routine, and of course needs to be with the dogs.

One referral to the physios at Lewisham Hospital later, and I was examined, and given a series of exercises and stretches to do daily.
We went through a series of tests do check the distances the tendons moved. Measurements taken on day one showed quite a large difference between my left and right tendons. The right has always caused me the most pain, but the left plays up too.
After the first appointment I came away with a positive mindset that something could be done about the situation, and got stuck into the routine of following the program I had been given. Much to my surprise I started to notice a bit of a difference, and by the next appointment I felt like I was getting somewhere with it.

Unfortunately I was starting to get pain in my lower back and glutes now. Transference of the issue to another point. By the time of the second appointment I had a new physio with a new idea and checks. On mentioning my pain she checked the strength in my glutes by doing a side leg raise, then pushing the leg back down. Now she is only a little lady, so on the good leg she probably could have hung off it without it moving. But when we got to the right side, I was shocked, I lifted my leg fine, but it just collapsed as soon as she put any pressure on it at all. Truly shocking as I have never felt  had any weakness in there at all.

By all accounts, while I have been subconsciously managing the pain in my right achillies, I have in fact avoided using my right leg a lot, and because of this the muscle strength in that side has deteriorated quite badly. Cue the addition of more exercises to bolster strength in the right side. Side leg raises, and one leg stand to squats.

By the third appointment a few days ago, things have improved remarkably, and the balance between left and right is slowly equalising. The strength returning to my right glute and quads, and the pain when walking disappearing by the day.

And finally I reach the reason for the title of the entry. Learning to walk again.
Since realising there was hope, and taking health seriously again, I have decided to make my own contribution towards the fight for recovery, and made some changes of my own.
The main one being, teaching myself to walk in a different way to how I have done so for 40+ years.
I have always been a powerful walker, able to average 4.2mph a few years back (GPS measured) long strides, good endurance, and able to chalk up 10-20 miles in a day without worrying too much about it. In recent years my goal has been 10 miles a day, but the flare up of the tendinopathy has really dented that goal, with some days me not even wanting to walk the dogs.
However it was time for change.

Just a quick note, so powerful are my downward thrusts with my feet when walking, that I am prone to slipping, so as I push off with the leading foot, the foot will slip on the surface as I roll onto my toes. I also wear through trainers at an alarming rate!
So, with all the progress being made with the physio, I decided to give my feet a second chance. Consciously walking with less vigour, taking the pressure out of the strides, smaller steps, a more upright stance, and trying to block out the goal of time or distance, and instead concentrate on my strides and keeping them smooth.

Amazingly it seems to be working, I can do a full 5 mile walk in the mornings now with no ill effect on my achillies or any other part of my feet really. Maybe a little tightness in the toes, but I guess that is all down to a transference of impact from one part to the next.

The last time my tendons were measured, and the test done on my glutes, the improvement was huge. Greater range and motion in the side leg raises, surprising the physio somewhat as the leg carried on rising into the air almost out of reach for her. As well as an improvement in the strength too, able to resist the downward pushing much more. As for the elasticity of the tendons, the lunges I can do now are massive compared to when I started, even causing the physio to suggest easing off on stretches for the stronger left side, as otherwise I will be doing the splits next time I'm in.

I am really grateful to the NHS for providing me this physio, they take a lot of stick, but at times like this, they are a god send, and very competent at what they do. I can feel the changes happening as I do my stretch routine daily, so know it is playing its part.

The tough part for me now is to stay focused enough to continue with both aspects of the program, and maintain my determination to learn to walk again, but in a way which is beneficial to my body and health, and caring less about getting somewhere quickly, and being the fastest person on the pavement.  Changing the way you walk at this time in life really isn't easy. I realise there are other people out there overcoming much greater challenges with their walking, but from this small experience I have learned to respect them even more.

Just to add, I am familiar with changing how I walk regularly in the past, with flare ups of gout causing me to improvise, it be immobile. From those short spells alone, you soon learn about weight and pressure transference, and how it impacts other parts of the body.

Anyway, after a long  morning of walking, training and physio stretches (3 hours to be precise) its time for me to have breakfast.... Or is that lunch now?

What a terrible day.

Such conflict in my emotions today, caused by the passing of two people.

Firstly there is a sense of happiness that the world no longer hosts one of its cruellest dictators. A man who has ruled with tyranny for decades, and created a country so misunderstood by the world, that until a few months ago most thought they were a nation of terrorists, and a country full of trouble. As the story has developed, it has become clear that Libya stood for so much more, and was determined to cease the movement of the North African nations against their rulers, and finally stand up for what they believed in.

Today they gained their freedom. In what some might describe as an unjust and bloody way, but it has ended the terror he inflicted once and for all. The name Gadaffi will no doubt live of for years, with the likes of Hussain and Bin Laden, and connected to their distant crazy relatives of tyranny like Hitler. All crazy people who used terror and torture to install themselves in power, and who turned people against their own in the promise of a better life in return for inflicting pain and hate upon their own.

The past few years have seen the fall of most of there hateful people, and we can only hope it was assisted by the West for the right reasons, and words like money and oil don't start creeping up in agreements. The British Empire was historically greedy and selfish, so let us not see the birth of the American Empire for this generation.

Then I have to turn my attention the the conflict in my own mind. Another passing has occurred today, which has provoked a completely different reaction in my mind and heart. The father of a dear friend of mine. In fact it is fair to say the entire family have been dear to my heart for many years now. He has been suffering what most would consider unbearable pain for as long as I can remember. The kind of discomfort you would beg to be freed from, and the sort of decline in health that makes a grown man weep to even consider, let alone experience.

Throughout the twenty years I have had the pleasure of knowing him, he has fought tooth and nail to maintain his quality of life, not giving up driving until it was impossible, refusing to roll over and let illnesses get the better of him, and never really feeling sorry for himself. I know many people who have suffered illness and pain, but few who have been so nobel in their journey, and who have maintained such dignity.

Having lost my mother only a couple of months ago, I can truly empathise with how Steven is feeling right now. However as mums decline was so one directional it was always clear to see where things were going. For Steven and Andrew (brothers) they have had to watch their fathers health behave like an ECG, up and down, bottomless lows only to bounce back to the top of the scale again. Strokes and mini strokes which rewrite the medical rules of how many one person can endure.

The world has lost a true fighter in every sense of the word tonight, and I say proudly that it has been a true pleasure being part of the life of such a true gentleman, father and husband to the Warwick family.
My thoughts are with you guys, and if you need a single thing, you know where I am.
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Physio time.

Ok so with it being important that I maintain flexibility this week, I thought it was time to pay the physio a visit. With all the stress so far this week, the top of my spine and neck is tight as hell, Its time to see Kevin @ Back on Track to get me back to my old self.

Usually a monthly thing, I have missed Dec and Jan due to commitments and financial reasons, but Feb, let's call it my little birthday treat shall we.

In 30 mins time I hope to be free again, to turn my head, look all around and use my back as it should be used.

Is it strange to look forwards to the manipulation of the spine and making it creak and crack... Well if it is, call me weird, because the end result to me is so worth it.

So here goes......
Regards
Michael

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