Another trip to Wales.

And a lovely one it was too.
At the weekend it was time to head up to Wales and tend to the family grave, its been a while since my last trip, February was the last time if I recall correctly.
The trip was made better by having great company the whole time, so thanks to Ann for that, really made the day worth while. And certainly enjoyed the opportunity to visit some of my favourite places.

Time to hit the road.

A silly early start to the day, leaving home around 4am. Planning to head through town to the start of the M1, I soon forgot that, and headed around the M25 on auto pilot. No harm done, less traffic lights and stops, so all was well. A nice smooth journey up, stopping off at Watford Gap for a spot of breakfast, and a call of nature, we were back under way, arriving in Llandudno in what seemed like no time at all.
I must say though, by this point, a good few hours sitting was starting to take its toll on my knee.

First port of call, ASDA, cheap as it sounds, but they are excellent for fresh flowers. Tending the grave was the first thing on the list of things to do. Getting a nice selection, including a nice bunch of "Tickled Pink" flowers which is ASDA's range supporting breast cancer charities (including Breast Cancer Now). SO very fitting for the occasion. Thanks to Ann for spotting them, after I had gathered white lilies and red roses, they fitted perfectly in the middle of the colours.

Off to Colwyn Bay crem for a clean up and flower arrangement, and for once a beautiful day for it. I am used to being caught in rain when I visit, just bad luck I guess, but the gods were on my side that day. A good polish of the headstone, and weeding of the surrounding plot, and it was time to get my inner flower arranger on.

 With a great selection to work with, the transformation took no time at all. See how it was transformed.

After a moment to reflect, and take in the peace and quiet of the location, it was time to move on and relax a bit more. While at the Llandudno end of the A55, I decided it was a good time to head towards Snowdonia and Llanberis.
On arrival at Llanberis, I parked in the lake front village car park. A few more cars than usual but it is summer holidays after all. So it was expected. Paying for parking for an hour, allowing time to take wonder, and sit around soaking up the atmosphere, I was not expecting to be there all that time, but sure enough, with good company and conversation, the hour flew by, and many sights were seen.

Gorgeous day for some landscape photos.

Blue and green were the key colours of the area.

Nice to see a little wildlife reserve area

A shot which caught my eye and just needed capturing.

Llanberis lake railway.

End of the line.

The car park and seating area of the Snowdon Railway was possibly the busiest I have ever seen it. Kind of spoils the feel of the area, but glad I didn't bother pre booking tickets for it. I know I would not have enjoyed being park of a large group going up to the summit.

From Llanberis we took a quick drive up to the bottom of the Pyg Pass, but it was crazy busy up there, no parking anywhere in sight, so after gazing longfully at the hills for a few mins, down we went again. I have to give kudos to all the cyclists going up and down the road. It still remains a goal of mine, but seeing them doing it brought it home that it is no mean feat!
next up, Caernarfon, and the castle. Another place I love dearly. Especially at full tide, to see the boats bobbing around in the harbour.
Great memories of being in Caernarfon with my mum and aunts, and even a photo of them standing by the harbour wall, which I shall see if I can find.
I was also excited to see the swing bridge open for the first time I can recall, much to the amusement of Ann, pfft lol.

After a quick trip to the gift shop, we were on our way again, thundering down the A55 in the Smart Car. Destination, Colwyn Bay promenade.

Before reaching the prom, I took a detour off into the shopping centre to grab some lunch to eat on the seafront. Sandwiches, drinks and dessert purchased, off we went to do battle with the gulls, to see how much food we could eat, vs how much they would steal. Surprisingly, even though there was a whole flock of them sitting in the sea just behind us, we ate uninterrupted.
Whilst sitting there, we partook in a little people watching and mockery. my my Charlie's parents need to learn the art of a good slap across the back of the legs.

Food digested, sights taken in, next stop, Welsh Mountain Zoo.
Up the windy roads we drove, reaching the strange entrance to the zoo, which feels just like a side road with a ticket booth on it. Tickets bought, it was time for a little adventure. As luck would have it we arrived just in time for the Bird of Prey show, the Penguins walkabout, and the Sealion display/ feeding/ talk.
As we waited for the shows to begin, one sealion (the male) was adamant that he would be heard, as you can see on this short Instagram video I shot. https://www.instagram.com/p/BIxPN6XDZIO
Very entertaining indeed.

After he had had his say for about 15 mins, the shows started. I have posted a few pics of what was seen, rather than bleating on about it,

Once the excitement was over, and with my knee really starting to give me some grief, not to mention Ann getting rather tired by now, we took a slow wander around the rest of the zoo. I have been going to this zoo for about 30+ years now, and have seen many changes. I have to say though, it is probably in its best format that I can recall right now. A lovely family zoo, set into the hill tops of the North Wales coast, epic views, a lovely collection, and a fabulous layout.

Red Pandas

Squeaky little otters

Cya later (Alligator)

Proud meerkat displaying his manliness

Meerkat on guard duty

A single pink lily, the same as the one mum grew, and I have tattooed as a tribute. Very fitting for the day.

After the zoo, time was getting on a bit, and a long journey lay ahead of us. Off to pay a visit to a few old family haunts, including the poor house left by my late aunt and her husband. Empty since 2010, and tied up in a probate argument ever since, it is tragic to see a lovely little place with such a beautiful view wasting away, year after year, and with all their possessions still left inside (other than valuables). Truly tragic that some people can be so bitter and greedy, to let someones legacy waste away to nothing, because they want it ALL !!

Time to hit the road back to London, and would need fuel on the way. Had I known how disgustingly over priced motorway petrol had become I would have got some in town. But willing to pay the usual 10p a litre over the odds for the sake of a straight journey, I left.
Having filled up at ASDA on my arrival in Wales, at 105.4 per litre, I was dumbstruck when I stopped in services and saw this!!

25.5p per litre more!! Seriously. Why in gods name is this allowed to happen. I wonder how many breakdowns are caused by people refusing to fill up on the motorway because of this robbery? And of course, thats not even mentioning the prices of eating and drinking in the services too. And we wonder why people don't stop, and drive past being tired.

Anyway, financial robbery later, and a couple of hours later, home was in sight. 666 miles covered, £60 of petrol, and a great day done. Time for bed!

My legacy

As a deep thinker, an over thinker, and someone who obsesses about some very strange things at times, I have come to realise that one thing bugs me over and over. My legacy!

I recently blogged about dying, cheerful I know, but it was on my mind, so I put it out there. In that piece I questioned what it was all about. Is death to be feared, or lived for? When we are gone, what is left, and what difference does our passing make to everyone else.

Having lost quite a few friends over the years, as well as some good acquaintances, its quite easy for me to make this next observation. Some people I have known who have died rarely ever cross my mind. Other however come into my thoughts on an almost daily basis. Not as sadness, but as memories of times gone by, thinking how a certain person would have liked whatever it is I'm doing at that moment, or just missing them for a moment.

In reality, I'm sure we all strive to be the latter. I know I do. I think I actually fear just being forgotten. I know I have shared some very special moments with some amazing people, and hope already that I have left my mark in life, at least in my own generation. I hope that I have done enough in life to generate a huge amount of 'do you remember when we' type conversations, as I have done about friends who have passed.

But there is a bone of contention in there, and one that doesn't sit well with me. My true legacy.
I am 42 years old now, far from old, but certain opportunities in life have reached a point of no return now. Choosing to have a child now, the primeval instinct of the human race, is quite a stretch in my world now, and not a choice I would make. Like a woman with her biological clock ticking away, I share that feeling of a door closing.
Of course, I have a child, or should I say, I fathered a child who is now a 20 year old woman.

It doesn't get to me too often, not something that I dwell on too much. I know in the years I have been absent she has been well looked after and loved. Raised well, and strives to make great academic achievements. I would say I'm really proud, but then that is a little glory grabbing really as its none of my doing.
Or is it? On a gross and scientific level, I do have something to be proud of. My genes after all went into her genetic makeup, she is 50% me, and while one part of the biological equation seems to have forgotten I am quite intelligent, thankfully her brain hasn't, and a part of me is indeed responsible for her success.

The truth is, my legacy as it stands is in 2 very separate pieces.
On the one hand, another generation has a life, will out live me, and a bloodline will continue. Regardless of my role and presence in the past 16 years, without me, there would be no her. Someone else maybe, but not her. Regardless of our interactions in years to come, her wishes to know me or involve me, she is my legacy. Like it or not.

Then the second part is the lives I have shared. The memories of the people I hold dearest to me, and who I have shared moments of happiness, sadness and of course stupidity with. A part of my life I have full control over, decisions I have made, and futures I have shaped. I hope I have done enough in those peoples lives to be remembered until their final days too, and for the stories of our adventures together to be told for decades to come.

Do you strive for a legacy? Or just take each day as it comes, and not care about what happens when you are gone?

Quick trip to Wales.

‎Well I say a quick trip, certainly wasn't on the way up here, that's for sure!

The weekend started on Friday for me with a trip to Gatwick Enterprise to pick up my 'small premium' car. After much guessing what it would be, having only stipulated auto, I was surprised to be given a VW Passat CC (Bluemotion) MANUAL. In fairness I was asked if I was that bothered but I said no. Big mistake in some respects.

A few months ago I was actually looking at this exact car, but in auto and GT guise. But having driven a manual‎ Bluemotion, I have to say I would take one of these now. Lovely spec inside, ridiculous motorway MPG, smooth, lovely on twisty roads. So that's a plus for sure.

The trip here took some 7 hours due to stupid traffic conditions, and looking at the weather forecast, and what I'm sitting in now, the trip home isn't gonna be much easier.

Arriving at the Travelodge I was dreading first morning back ache from their ridiculous beds, but to my surprise they have teamed up with Sleepeze and replaced all their beds, and I must say, very nice indeed! Might even buy one. There is a little brochure by the bed telling you how to buy one if you enjoyed your sleep. Imagine that, try before you buy, first on the car and now the bed too. Good trip.

The reason for the trip, simple. One year ago today my aunt passed away, ironically some might say, on her sister (my mums) birthday. Mum left us in 2011. So this year on their anniversaries I made some changes to the family plot to make sure they are remembered, and there is somewhere to come to to pay respects to the whole family.

Two little engraved granite cubes with their details on. Small but effective :)

So they are in place now.

I have also travelled about to my favourite locations this weekend with my camera, to do some experimenting with it, and am quite happy with the results.

While talking to Chris, Joan's ex carer, she asked me for some information about tablets (electronic not medical), and showed interest in buying one. I have for a while now been looking for some way of saying thank you to Chris for all she did, so I popped out last night and bought her the Samsung Galaxy Tab 3 10.1, which was on her shortlist. She was a little shocked when I dropped it off in a flying visit last night. But no doubt my afternoon will be spent setting it up for her now lol. 

So, I'm sitting on the prom between Rhos and Colwyn Bay now, in heavy rain, strong winds, and hazy skies. Waiting for it to be late enough to pick Chris up to visit the family plot to lay flowers. Thankfully the tide is out, or I would have been washed away by now.

So I better get on, then wrap the day up with what will hopefully be a speedy and trouble free trip back to London.

Will the car have made the whole weekend on a single tank.... time will tell.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the EE network.

What a year!

Well its been a long long time since I blogged anything simple and down to earth, let alone just about me, and not moaning about companies and organisations. So I thought it was about time I did, so here goes.

First off, apologies for any typos I might make and miss, but I am trying this blog entry out on my new ACER Chromebook. I shall come back to that in a bit.

So..... What a year. Without a doubt the main factor has to be the passing of my dear Aunt Joan Hughes. This time last year, this exact time and day in fact, I was in Colwyn Bay making a surprise visit to her. Spending a little too long over at the carers house getting up to speed on how Joan had been, I finally went over to a rather frosty reception, and quite a telling off. Something I have grown used to in the years of visiting.

Slightly taken aback by the changes which had happened since I had see her last, but the time spent there together was as special as ever. Little did I know at the time that this would be the last time I would really see Joan at home, and the last bit of quality time we would spend together. As chatty and argumentative as ever, we spent hours talking about all sorts of things, before it was time for me to head home.

I remember the day well, as on my journey to and from Wales there were a series of nasty accidents resulting in fatalities and major road closures. Leaving me getting home at about midnight, and popping my M&S turkey ready meal in the oven for  very late dinner. No repeat of that this year, with the creation of my own roast dinner, which was delightful.

It seemed only a few weeks later that I returned to Wales, around my birthday, on hearing the news that Joan had taken a turn, and was now in a home. It was only just over a week later, on what would have been mums birthday, that the last of the 3 Lunt sisters from Old Colwyn would pass away, leaving a huge hole in the fabric of my life as I knew it at that time. The end of a generation, the end of the blood connection to a place which has always been dear in my heart.

A sad time was quickly surpassed by a strange time for me. A time spent in Wales, with Chris, Noel, and Chantal to name but a few. A time spent organising what can only be described as the disposal of Joan's estate, and what felt like a deletion of a connection to a special place. Reading the eulogy at Joan's funeral, looking out at all the faces of the people who had come to share that last moment, and pay their respects, I realised that THIS was what really meant something to me. Not the reading, not the attention, but the love respect and connections of friendship.

Since this time I have really started to appreciate my true friendships, and respect those people  deem 'friends'. Knowing that I would move a mountain to help them at a moments notice, and to know that however infrequent the meetings and conversations, that respect is mutual. It gives me great comfort to know, just like my aunt, I too have people like this in my life. So to you, I say thank you.

The rest of the year has been full of stress and distractions. Dealing with solicitors, estate agents (some great, some rubbish), executors, car rental companies, the list is endless. But over this time two things have kept me afloat, material objects, and food. Both things that I actually despise to an extend. But seeing as I am typing on one of those material objects to write this blog, I guess some good comes from them.
Food however is my enemy right now, and I intend on doing something about that starting in a few weeks time. Until then, I shall indulge myself and make the most of it.

Just watching the Queen's Speech after my home made lunch, for the first time I might add. I was surprised to see quite a basic speech, not highlighting the years events, but focusing on the inner person. Something I like to do quite a lot. Time for reflection is something we all need, apparently even the Queen does from time to time. So it turns out im normal after all.

Throughout this year many people I know have suffered in one way or another. From losing a loved one, to suffering from ill health of some sort. Again, it is at times like this you realise who your friends are. Having been through most of the above quite frequently over the past few years, I can appreciate what they are going through. To you all, I wish you all the best in overcoming these times, and striving to be stronger, for yourself and those around you.

So as the end of another year comes into sight, and all the memories of 2013 go into storage, regardless of what has happened, the highs, the lows... Lift your head high, and strive to fight on for another year, with each day of life being a gift in itself, everyday is Xmas, so don't waste the gift you have.

My final thought is a strange one, certainly for me, and might be a bit weird for others, including one certain person. But here goes...
2013 saw my daughter (the one I rarely speak of anymore) turn 18, an age of maturity, an age of independence. With this coinciding with my 40th year, my aunts passing, and many other milestones, something has changed in my life, and for the better (in a nice way).
I am the oldest generation of a family now, the highest tier, I have no legal responsibilities to anyone, I am soon to be debt free for the first time in years, so can catagorically say that I am borderline stress free, string free, chain free etc.
Seeing peoples pictures of their Xmas trees surrounded with gifts, having people reach out to me to ask me not to spend Xmas Day alone this year, and realising that the Xmas spirit I remember from a child is still within me somewhere, well its kinda made me quite sad. But at the same time determined too.
No longer am I in limbo between being a son, but also an absent parent. I no longer have the calling to travel to ensure relatives are ok on this day. But from this point on, I can enjoy Xmas again, and give it the respect it deserves.

So I say this now, and will keep my word. I have NO idea what I will do for Xmas 2014 yet, but I promise you one thing... I WILL celebrate it!

Thank you to everyone for reaching out, and helping reignite the flicker of Xmas within me.

And so it began. Tribute tattoo for Aunt Joan

My last entry kinda hit on the fact that I was heading off to get a new tattoo started, my Welshanese Dragowl as I like to call it. The date has been set for a while now, and the plans were in place, so getting it started was paramount to me.

Would it help get my head straight, would I begin closure, would it look right side by side with mum on my chest. Well, the answer is yes, to all of the above, and I am seriously relieved about that.

Everything isn't rosy now, my head is still a bit messy to say the least, but the important thing is, it's on the road to recovery.

As far as the tattoo goes, finally having the template laid out was great to see, and realise just how big a piece I had asked Michelle to do as a starter piece. All the aspects were present, on the right scale, and in the right layout. All I can say at this point is, after 3 hours of having it all lined in, I am stoked to see how this is gonna turn out now. I already have additional plans for it.

Speaking of those plans, allow me to elaborate a little . Florian Karg, a fantastic artist with quite a unique style, has inspired me to add a piece between the two pieces tying them in together, and helping them make sense. The co-ordinates (in degrees) for Puffin Island, where the ashes for mum and Joan will be scattered, on my chest, possibly in smoke as a background, in a very unconventional style, both type face and layout. 

So, I shall leave you with the pictures of the first session.

Thanks for reading.

Regards
Michael

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10

The canvas is ready, bring on the ink!

Another tattoo project begins, this time my right chest plate, pec, moob, whatever ya wanna call it.

This piece is a tribute to my late Aunt Joan, who passed away in Feb. It will sit next to mums tribute piece (her sister).

The theme is Welshanese aka Welsh and Japanese. With a Jap style dragon in Welsh flag pose. Along with an owl in the background, a favourite of my aunt.

So here is the canvas, let's get going.

Regards
Michael

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10

What the hell is going on!

First up, what is the chances of 50% of the workers in an office losing a parent in 3 months. Further to that, the number increases even further if you up the time scale to a year. 4 people out of the 6 in my office have had a parent pass in the last 12 months! Its a crazy number, and one that really defines mortality to you.
To go hand in hand with that, in the past 16 months I have lost my oldest friend, one of my closest friends, my mother, and a close friends father who I knew very well. On top of that there is another friend who also passed shortly before that. Not a good year for a personal death toll then (pardon the phrase)
I can only hope that the person I am about to talk about doesn't add themselves to that toll any time soon.

So, my Aunty Joan, who is currently receiving treatment for breast and bone cancer, but fighting like a trooper, just like my mum did. Her health for her age is amazing, let alone for someone who has cancer in such awkward places. It would be lovely if she can just keep hanging on in there forever more, but the reality of it is far more gloomy. So why do I speak of her, well that's simple, I'm going to see her tomorrow.
Its been a while since I have seen her, quite a long time in fact. I have not seen her since the weekend of mums funeral which was back in mid August, so I am long overdue a visit. To add to this I am taking advantage of the half term holidays and taking my niece and nephew to meet Joan too. The last time either of them was in Wales was when they were babies, and far too young to have met Joan properly, so no time like the present eh.
The plan is somewhat up in the air at the moment. Where I would love to spend the whole weekend with them there, and take my time showing them the sights, and taking them on a trip down mums memory lane, I'm not sure how far the money will stretch for accommodation etc, so we shall have to see.

I did have a master plan in place, but at the moment it all seems to have gone a little arse up, so its going to be an 'as it happens' weekend. A few sights, some photography and education for Katie, a little fun and games if the weather holds out, and bonding with them of course, which apparently I have not done enough of. Fingers crossed I can make the most of it.

The success of the weekend will of course depend on if I get my voice back in time to shout and scream at the kids, scream at other roads users, and not forgetting actually conversing with my Aunt. Without my voice I am going to feel a little useless. In all seriousness I want to be able to show them the sights, and tell them some stories, not just pull up, point, smile and move on. Talking to my aunt is also very important to me, and I also like to talk to her carer too, to get a clear picture of her health and her well being. Little things like appetite, activity level and interests are all important to know, so I can make my own judgement on her outlook so to speak.

The losing of my voice is the final insult to a week of having a cold, then a chesty cough, and now coughing so much I have manager to lose my voice. Less phonecalls for me at work I guess, that's one advantage lol. However for day to day things its causing me hell, especially for making phone calls to creditors etc. Speaking of which, reminds me of something else. My to do list. Written up a few days ago, with anything and everything I have to do, from reporting repairs, right through to sorting finance. If I say so myself I have managed a large number of the things from the list. Trivial things like cleaning, and huge thing like sorting money matters out have all been taken care of so far. Just a few more things to get out of the way, hopefully I will have this sorted by the end of the weekend.

On another note.... My god I have put weight on! Huge amounts over the past couple of months. Stress and poor health have not helped, but the truth is I have become a lazy fat knacker too. A habit I need to get out of soon, and get my weight and lifestyle back on track. Morning walks with the dogs have suffered, eating habits are stupid at the moment, and clothes sizes are rising, but still within tolerances. So that's next on my to do list.

And another note, my scan. I have heard nothing back from the doctor, not sure if I actually will on something like this. Maybe I am meant to go to see him, I really should call up and see what the score is on that count, and see if they decided it was anything noticeable or just me being a whiner.

Right that's me done for now.
As a foot note I want to say that my thoughts are with Steve Warwick and his family now after the passing of his father last night. Its a tough time for them all I'm sure, and I just want them to know I am here if I can help with anything.
And also to the Pirrie/Somers family. With David having his bone marrow transplant yesterday, the next week or so are very important, so here's to hoping that everything that is needed to be seen happens, and that he is on the mend very soon. Respect to his brother for making the donation.

What a terrible day.

Such conflict in my emotions today, caused by the passing of two people.

Firstly there is a sense of happiness that the world no longer hosts one of its cruellest dictators. A man who has ruled with tyranny for decades, and created a country so misunderstood by the world, that until a few months ago most thought they were a nation of terrorists, and a country full of trouble. As the story has developed, it has become clear that Libya stood for so much more, and was determined to cease the movement of the North African nations against their rulers, and finally stand up for what they believed in.

Today they gained their freedom. In what some might describe as an unjust and bloody way, but it has ended the terror he inflicted once and for all. The name Gadaffi will no doubt live of for years, with the likes of Hussain and Bin Laden, and connected to their distant crazy relatives of tyranny like Hitler. All crazy people who used terror and torture to install themselves in power, and who turned people against their own in the promise of a better life in return for inflicting pain and hate upon their own.

The past few years have seen the fall of most of there hateful people, and we can only hope it was assisted by the West for the right reasons, and words like money and oil don't start creeping up in agreements. The British Empire was historically greedy and selfish, so let us not see the birth of the American Empire for this generation.

Then I have to turn my attention the the conflict in my own mind. Another passing has occurred today, which has provoked a completely different reaction in my mind and heart. The father of a dear friend of mine. In fact it is fair to say the entire family have been dear to my heart for many years now. He has been suffering what most would consider unbearable pain for as long as I can remember. The kind of discomfort you would beg to be freed from, and the sort of decline in health that makes a grown man weep to even consider, let alone experience.

Throughout the twenty years I have had the pleasure of knowing him, he has fought tooth and nail to maintain his quality of life, not giving up driving until it was impossible, refusing to roll over and let illnesses get the better of him, and never really feeling sorry for himself. I know many people who have suffered illness and pain, but few who have been so nobel in their journey, and who have maintained such dignity.

Having lost my mother only a couple of months ago, I can truly empathise with how Steven is feeling right now. However as mums decline was so one directional it was always clear to see where things were going. For Steven and Andrew (brothers) they have had to watch their fathers health behave like an ECG, up and down, bottomless lows only to bounce back to the top of the scale again. Strokes and mini strokes which rewrite the medical rules of how many one person can endure.

The world has lost a true fighter in every sense of the word tonight, and I say proudly that it has been a true pleasure being part of the life of such a true gentleman, father and husband to the Warwick family.
My thoughts are with you guys, and if you need a single thing, you know where I am.
Sent using BlackBerry®

Farewell

Just sitting at Oxford services off the M40 at the moment after attending Stourbridge Crem for Tas's send off. I have to say the first thing I noticed was how small the number attending was. I realise people have commitments, and would not for one second expect the whole world to show up, but Tas was such a loving a popular guy I am shocked at how few made the trip. Tas's side of the family was missing, for what I understand to be religious reasons, so it was left to some close friends and loved ones to be in on the service.

I have not seen Tas for a number of years now, and while he was dear to my heart, I didn't feel I had a place in the actual service, so waited just outside while it all took place. I waited and spoke with Kim, Tas's ex-wife who also wanted to pay her respects.

Once the service had finished and people begun to exit, I left. The one thing I hate about funerals is the falseness of some of the people you will meet there. Fake smiles, false recollections, and empty "nice to see you, we should get together" stuff. Seen and heard it all before, and quite frankly it makes me feel sick, so I prefer to avoid it.

The setting and the weather however... Beautiful to say the least. A warm, clear, sunny spring day, and a hill top crematorium for him to begin his final journey.

So as I put distance between myself and the event, I sit in the sunshine reflecting on 10 or so years of knowing Tas, the moments we shared, and how things went over the years. A quiet loveable guy, loved to smile and be in groups of car lovers, pride in his ride, and an appetite for life. Tas, you were one of the genuine ones out there and your passing is a great loss to many many more than who came to say farewell today.

I am thankful that I managed to get to see Cadell and Archie (my newly adopted son lol) too. Its nice to mix some happiness with the sadness of today. Another Travelodge ticked off my to-do list. This is becoming a bit of a habit now. And a visit to a Sainsburys which seemed like something from the past lol.

So as I drive back towards London shortly I wave farewell to much from the past and present, and wonder when I will next travel these roads. Possibly to see my aunt at the weekend, who knows.

Til then, its back to the realities of home again. Sort mum out, get the dogs walked and get back on with life. Time to get off my arse, out of the sun and back on the road now I guess. *sigh
Regards
Michael

Sent using BlackBerry®

Complex in life, complex in death.

How complicated can life possibly be, and how can it get even more complex after the life has ended? Its amazing how living your own life is complicated in itself, but once decisions start being made for you in your absence it gets wild and crazy. Reading of wills causes bickering between immediate family, final wishes cause confusion between loved ones.
It is truly astounding that while many live selfish lives, that in your passing the fighting doesn't end, but instead seems to intensify. Everyone knowing a small aspect of a persons life, one little piece of an entire existence, yet we all become experts in their wishes and wants in life.
The passing of a friend, an acquaintance, or a loved one is a time for grieving, celebrating and coming to terms with the fact that they are no longer with us. Not a time to dig up the dirt of the past, hold grudges or start fights. From near or afar anyone who has shared a connection with the person has a right to pay their respects in some form. Maybe not be a speaker at the service, maybe not the closest person to the deceased any longer, but if done tactfully and in line with the wishes and respects of those closest, they should be allowed to say farewell.

When my nan died, the first thing that happened was an out and out war over her house. How it should be sold, what price etc. Nan's final wish was for the two sides of the family to be one again, but that lasted all of about 2 hours! Now, the family is divided as it ever was. All the wishes of nan left behind, all the respect that should have been paid to her and her wishes have been lost in greed and selfish behaviour of others wanting to be in control of the situation. Acting in "the best interests" of the deceased.

It honestly sickens me when this happens. An hour, a day, the last one we can share with a person we claim to care about, but instead it descends into turmoil and one final bitch fight.

Its times like this I think, when I die, shove me in a box, invite no-one, burn me and let me just disappear without being the cause of more anger and conflict!
Regards
Michael

Sent using BlackBerry®