Wednesday, February 29, 2012

One day later, the feelings start to numb.

Its been a whole 24 hours now since getting the news of the passing of Darren, and in that time some amazing things have been said, tributes paid, and even a gathering in his memory. A group has been started on Facebook, and it has already exploded in numbers, as you would expect with someone as dynamic as Darren.

If even proof was needed that he impacted a LOT of peoples lives, these comments and tributes have certainly provided it.

Since hearing the news I have been on a journey with myself, as I am sure many more people have, and on the way I have reminded myself of a few things. Each time someone passes, for every person I/we lose along the way, the first thing that springs back into the front of my mind is, how precious life is. Day to day we just plod around, heads down and we just take things for granted. But when something tragic like this happens suddenly we are reminded that our existence is a gift, and not a right. One that can be taken away at any time, and in any way.

Thats not to say that losing someone is not a terrible things, of course it is. But rather than hiding away, and letting it beat us down, we should dig deep to find the strength to be strong. To celebrate the life of the person who has left us, and live the way we know they would have wanted us to carry on. No person ever wishes to leave behind loved ones, and a sudden departure is far from ideal. But at the same time, the same person would never want our lives to be filled with sorrow and grief for any period of time.

Its right to mourn, and to grieve, we all need to deal with our loss in a way that suits us best. For me, talking about the person, reliving memories, and remembering why that person impacted my life the way they did is the best way. Not the departure, not the event itself, just everything before it. Picturing smiles, remembering antics, and other such things.

For me in general the period of loss is a very short one. I realise for some people, Tony, Angela and other close family members will take much longer to accept Darren is not there. No silly text exchanges, no blowing off steam to them, no invites to parties and social gathering etc. It all takes a long time to actually stop that train of thought. I know with mum for months after I still kept thinking 'mum would like this' or 'I must tell mum about this. Its human nature, but its a bitch too. Tripping you up on a good day, catching you out just when you think you are coping.

So this is a message to anyone who is sharing this loss. Be you closer or more detached from Darren than I was. Such a happy loving guy would never want to cause other people pain, certainly not to those who he loved and cared for. While we are all feeling lost, and a little helpless without Darren around, we also need to carry on with our lives. OK this is harsh and a little premature for those closer to Darren, but the sentiment remains. Live each day to the fullest, carry the memories of Darren with you forever.

I offer my condolences once again, and hold out my hand to anyone I can help in any way with their grieving process. My thoughts are with everyone else sharing this loss.

Once again, Rest In  Peace Darren Green

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