Very strange, but as I took a nap this morning after waking for the first time I fell into a deep sleep and subsequently had a dream, and a weird one at that.
I was at a strange house, mum was there on a day bed in a small lounge with someone else milling around in the house.
I was sitting next to mum on the bed, and had my laptop open for some reason while we spoke. Guess I might have been showing her something. She became irate and asked the other person to get me to leave. I spoke directly back to mum asking why she was being aggressive and angry with me.
It was like one of the times when she would get upset and just start shouting telling everyone to leave her alone. When it happened in reality I used to take it in my stride, but for some reason in my dream I was taking it very much to heart, and getting upset with her. As she got angry, I threw my laptop on the floor... She shouted again and with that I stood up and screamed.... That is when I woke.
My guess at making sense of this, is that over the time of caring for her, and putting up with mood swings, outbursts, and other equally upsetting situations, I just bottled it up. And finally as it all leaves my system, and things return to normal I am just letting it all out. Finally displaying how I felt during these exchanges, and trying to deal with the things that cut a lot deeper than I first thought they had.
For the next few hours after waking up I was a little down and quiet about things, but as the day has progressed I have cheered up somewhat. I have a few debts etc that I need to take care of at the moment, but nothing along the stress levels of before, so I don't think they are contributing towards the situation. Just have to see how the next few nights go.
Its the first time I have had such an episode, so here's to hoping I have no more of them.