We are all guilty of living within our comfort zone at times. It is something which comes naturally to most, and be it a conscious or sub-conscious decision, at some point we will find ourselves settling for what we know.
Be it a regular dish at a restaurant, or a job, the idea of doing something different, and changing from the norm can be a bit of a worry. Just the thought process behind making a change for some can be more than the change itself is worth. At least that is how it can feel at times.
Why change my car, I have been so lucky with this one, over 10 years, no major repairs, high miles and still plugging on. I know people who have had almost brand new cars go wrong. I should stick with this one.
I really like the sound of that twice cooked pork, in sauce with noodles at the Chinese, but I know I like the chicken fried rice. I will stick to what I know, I would not want to waste money, and go hungry.
I'm getting really bored at work, but they have been really good to me over the years, with everything that has happened. What if I changed jobs and I don't like the new place? I should be grateful and stick with what I know!
There is a real pattern there, and it is a familiar one for many people, whether they realise it or not. I speak to so many people who have such dilemmas, but choose not to tempt fate, or rock the boat. That said, I know many people who have reached a point where change is the only logical option, like for Ann (my other half) who was recently almost (well no, actually) forced into looking for another job, after things went against her at her last job.
Sometimes, it is that shove that we need to force our hand, and in a lot of cases, things actually turn out OK.
I say sometimes, but I guess I mean, most times to be honest, especially when our hand is forced. After all, to be in a pinch in the first place suggests something is not right, and change is needed.
For some people, like me for example, the idea of change is simply terrifying. So much uncertainty, so much unknown. Why would you throw yourself into a chasm of fear, for the sake of possible improvements. Are things in your current situation REALLY that bad? The wheels start turning, the head starts spinning, and you struggle to find a way to ground yourself. Before you know it, you are back to safety, and reject the idea of putting yourself through that again. Case closed.
However sometimes the lid of the box keeps popping open, the the doubt of your happiness in that comfort zone gets questioned more and more. Are you actually happy, or just trapped in a routine of known quantity? This is a common thing with relationships for sure, and most people will confess to having been in at least one like that. Been there, done that, won't be doing that again! But while you are there, all seems OK.
I would say that recognising situations similar those which have happened in the past, is a good way to move forward, and question your current comfort zone on contention. Weigh things up rationally, and remove the fear factor for as long as you can. It is going to come calling at some point, but in the meantime, get as much thought done as possible, rationalise things the best you can, and consider the genuine pros and cons without the terror of the "what if's".
For people who over think, worry, and spend their whole life taking only the most calculated of decisions, with the most certain outcomes, life can be really dull. But which do you choose? Dull and controlled, or exciting and chaotic? A mixture is ideal, but for some, with chaos comes confusion, and with confusion comes panic and instability.
CBT teaches a process in which you are able to try and have the rational thought process, while avoiding the spiral of doom and gloom. Keeping away from the edge by reminding yourself of positive outcomes of similar situations. Something as simple as going out to the shops during anxious times can be terrifying. Thinking about the scary things which could happen if you venture out, immediately makes it a bad idea. However reminding yourself of the good experiences which have happened when you have taken that little leap, can bring the rewards to the forefront of your mind, and in some way tempt and nurture your curiosity into make the decision to once again leap.
This same process can be applied to the cycle of the unknown outcome in the over thinkers mind. 10 years ago when I bought the car, I was worried, but look at me now. Now it has become the benchmark
When I tried that dish the first time I went to the new restaurant, I wasn't sure, but now I love it.
Sometimes things work out well, even when we have literally set ourselves up to prepare for failure of the worst kind. You just have to look back to the right experiences, and realise that sometimes, most of the time, nearly all the time.... things work out OK after all.
I guess in summary, there is nothing wrong with the comfort zone. As long as you can take a look from the outside, and say you are honestly happy. I could eat chicken, rice and veg all the time. But is change from that nice... Sure it is!
I could aspire to live in a hot country, with loads of space and all the free time in the world. But would I be happy? Probably not, my mind needs feeding regularly.
There is something safe and usually satisfying about being in your comfort zone, however, there is also something exciting about venturing outside it once in a while. The frequency is the key here, and from time to time, you just have to leap....
For the thought of any sort of change to have even entered your mind, there must be something to is, right? It isn't a random out of the blue thought. It is not a pipe dream being sold to you by a con man. It is an opportunity which has presented itself to you in a rational way, makes sense, and is worth a shot. So why let it worry you?
You know what Michael, I think you might be right!
Welcome to my thought process. The easiest way for me to see things like this is to say them, out loud, to the blog. Then read back, and hear it in my mind as a conversation. Break everything down into a format I can understand and process, and run through it again.
Maybe I am in a prison after all, maybe it is time to leap!!!
Watch this space....
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Monday, October 21, 2019
Friday, November 17, 2017
Sexism!
A very common word to hear these days, seemingly becoming a generic term for any situation where the gender card can be played. Much like racism. That is not to say that both issues are not genuine and serious. But more that the frequency at which it is used, and the situations it is applied to, somewhat waters down the seriousness of the term, and makes it seem like an epidemic and common place.
So what does it actually mean?
noun
As we can see there are a number of meanings, some of which somewhat conflict, or at least cause confusion. Stereotyping is the most commonly used example in current times, certainly in an issue which I will come to later, employment! However the second two are the more serious definitions, and ones that get my attention.
See, the issue I have here is, to combat discrimination, we discriminate. We have employment drives for more ethnic minorities, or more females in certain roles. This is open discrimination, simply telling British white males they many NOT apply for the positions as they are the wrong colour, gender or religion. What would happen if there was a MEN ONLY employment drive, or whites only etc.
Do you see what I am getting at here.
Fighting discrimination, in itself causes discrimination. Legally backed discrimination at that, and sanctioned from the highest levels.
Whatever happened to "may the best person win" (see how I avoided "man" there!)
When it comes to jobs, there are some that can be done by a trained monkey ( like my job) and there are others which require a certain set of skills. Common sense says that you employ the best character suited for the job, with the best skill sets possible.
So what happens when three men an a woman are shortlisted for a role. Ranked in suitability in this scenario, the woman is ranked #3. So does the recruiter overlook positions #1 and #2 as the gender is more important in the recruitment drive, or do they go with the best person for the job?
Genuine question.
When I see big public services having drives to recruit more workers from a certain demographic, I often wonder how many people don't apply for a position, because they are aware that there is emphasis on another demographic, and they feel they would not be considered seriously.
Again, we are back to discrimination, but it's OK, because it is sanctioned! Ludicrous surely?
Now, before anyone starts flapping their arms in anger, or breathing deeply and huffing, let me explain something. I am all for equality, fairness, and overlooking gender for the best candidate for a job. However, there are certain roles which are predominantly one sex or the other for a reason. Be it physical ability, not really a male or female thing to do (this is a strange one, but accepted in a lot of roles for what it is), or indeed, due to dithering old sexist fools, choosing to hire "sexy secretaries" , or refusing to hire woman as they are the "weaker sex".
There is probably an argument somewhere that says some of these sexist fools only hired women into the boardroom, above the glass ceiling, for a peep up their skirt!
My main issue with this whole situation has come from a series of Tweets from areas of the LFB. They are having a #FireFightingSexism campaign at the moment, which I can appreciate, to a degree at least. More women firefighters, can't be a bad thing at all. Equality in the work place is a serious thing, and should be addressed in many roles. In many sectors we are seeing more and more balance of the sexes. Although the same can't be said for my own industry, comparisons drawn to similar roles but serving other trades would show the complete opposite. Different horses, for different courses and all that!
My problem comes when it comes to how people address a certain job role.
I have grown up with Policeman, Fireman , Postman, Milkman etc. It was a title for someone who carried out a role, and one I grew familiar with as I grew up. To me, the title is the same as Doctor, Manager, Actor etc. Actor being a strange one actually, as I grew up using actor and actress, but the gender was removed from that and it became actor. However many still use actress in day to day life.
Seeing a woman in a hospital, it was, and probably still is easy to use gender to identify a role, and a lot of people will still say "nurse" to a woman, and the same people will usually be surprised to see a man identify himself as a "nurse. It is an ongoing thing, but something I get the impression most are unbothered by, unless they are having a bit of a bad day, we all have them, right!
The main thing here is, these job titles are usually only used to address someone in a formal manner, or to get someones attention in a hurry. Not so much a term used all day, everyday.
And this is where my issue really starts to come into effect with firefighters. It comes across from the campaign, and many of the supporters of it, that it is the title (which many people will never use to address a firefighter) is the biggest concern. This came to a head yesterday for me when LFB Greenwich called out the wonderful Mr Nick Knowles of DIY SOS for using the term "firemen" in a tweet, thanking the Fire Service for their assistance.
When it comes to quickly hammering out a Tweet or other social media post, we revert to our basics, and quickly write what we feel while it is fresh in our minds. He didn't say "the men of the fire service" not even "the guys" but "firemen". This apparently is offensive and disrespectful to the firefighters, and was worth calling him out publicly on social media.
The post read :
This was followed by this one :
Now, I am all for freedom of speech, and I am all for fairness and respect, but I start to lose patience when such things are put in writing, especially things like this.
Externally, the public perception of firefighters is fantastic. Sometimes we don't understand the realities of what they do. But the public rally behind them when cuts are made, wage increases are unfair, and safety is questionable. Events like Grenfell Tower really drove home to the people of London just how brave, amazing and worthy all these people are. Huge respect was shown, people lined the streets to thank them. But it seems after all that love and respect was shown, the real issue was the use of the word "man" !
Seriously!
When I was at school, I called the teachers sir and ma'am. Identifying them by gender, rather than by occupation. I get that that is different, there is no generic term for teacher, other than "teacher", which would be a little disrespectful. However, it is a term I was raised to use. As was fireman.
Forgive me for being a child of such a generation. I am told that the term "firefighter" has been the correct term for 30 years now, so maybe I should sue the education system for failing to teach me correctly. Maybe it is a form of child abuse to have been misinformed for so long. I am sure if I look for long enough, I can find someone to blame, but lets be realistic, it is too trivial to pursue.
I get that firefighters are not all men. I get that fireman is unrepresentative of the workforce. But that is what it is, a misrepresentation, nothing more. Not an intentional disrespect of the female firefighters, not a sexist attack on women, not discriminatory. It is just an old fashioned generalisation which has not yet died out. With time it will, just like other terms have been corrected over the generations.
The argument that the correct term has been "firefighter" for 30 years now, so people should be using it is invalid. The simple fact is, it has NOT been commonly known. People have not refused to use the term, they have simply not been educated. Society didn't rebel, or choose to be sexist, they simply never changed. Postman.... Still common a very common term, but very little said about that.
The rise of Dany Cotton to commissioner of the LFB is fantastic. great for workplace equality, great for moral, and a clear indication that sexism is no longer in place where it matters. I'm all for this sort of progress, and am pleased to see it continue into other sectors. Such as the Met, with Cresida Dick as the commissioner also. I wonder if the next push will be to demand that we use the term police officer religiously, rather than slipping up and saying Policeman. I do hope not. We are better than that, right?
My issue here, is not so much the message of the campaign, but the tone and ferocity of it. Being TOLD that firefighters will not have their job title dictated to them, and DEMAND that others call them by firefighter. Citing the term fireman as sexist and disrespectful.
I am going round and round in circles here now, I can tell, so I will summarise.
Some situations require a loud voice and stomping of feet to get the message across. Bully it through, and make people understand.
But sometimes, just a constant stream of information, repetition of a phrase, making it the norm, and more commonly used, is the way to go.
The media have trained us with many words over the years, more recently using immigrant instead of refugee, blurring the lines and changing the language of the masses, the same can be done here too.
People do listen, language does change, but not over night, and certainly not under duress. The message is fair, the method quite frankly sucks, and if there is anyone demonstrating disrespect, it is from the other side. Disrespecting the members of the public who dare to use a common adage, rather than carefully selecting the most PC term possible.
I love all members of our emergency services, and respect every single one of you. Just because I don't tell you every day, doesn't mean I have changed my views. Please, carry on with your campaign, but maybe stop being so precious about it, and making a huge issue of something which has not been addressed for 29 of the last 30 years.
So what does it actually mean?
1.
attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of gender roles.
2.
discrimination or devaluation based on a person's sex or gender, as inrestricted job opportunities, especially such discrimination directedagainst women.
As we can see there are a number of meanings, some of which somewhat conflict, or at least cause confusion. Stereotyping is the most commonly used example in current times, certainly in an issue which I will come to later, employment! However the second two are the more serious definitions, and ones that get my attention.
See, the issue I have here is, to combat discrimination, we discriminate. We have employment drives for more ethnic minorities, or more females in certain roles. This is open discrimination, simply telling British white males they many NOT apply for the positions as they are the wrong colour, gender or religion. What would happen if there was a MEN ONLY employment drive, or whites only etc.
Do you see what I am getting at here.
Fighting discrimination, in itself causes discrimination. Legally backed discrimination at that, and sanctioned from the highest levels.
Whatever happened to "may the best person win" (see how I avoided "man" there!)
When it comes to jobs, there are some that can be done by a trained monkey ( like my job) and there are others which require a certain set of skills. Common sense says that you employ the best character suited for the job, with the best skill sets possible.
So what happens when three men an a woman are shortlisted for a role. Ranked in suitability in this scenario, the woman is ranked #3. So does the recruiter overlook positions #1 and #2 as the gender is more important in the recruitment drive, or do they go with the best person for the job?
Genuine question.
When I see big public services having drives to recruit more workers from a certain demographic, I often wonder how many people don't apply for a position, because they are aware that there is emphasis on another demographic, and they feel they would not be considered seriously.
Again, we are back to discrimination, but it's OK, because it is sanctioned! Ludicrous surely?
Now, before anyone starts flapping their arms in anger, or breathing deeply and huffing, let me explain something. I am all for equality, fairness, and overlooking gender for the best candidate for a job. However, there are certain roles which are predominantly one sex or the other for a reason. Be it physical ability, not really a male or female thing to do (this is a strange one, but accepted in a lot of roles for what it is), or indeed, due to dithering old sexist fools, choosing to hire "sexy secretaries" , or refusing to hire woman as they are the "weaker sex".
There is probably an argument somewhere that says some of these sexist fools only hired women into the boardroom, above the glass ceiling, for a peep up their skirt!
My main issue with this whole situation has come from a series of Tweets from areas of the LFB. They are having a #FireFightingSexism campaign at the moment, which I can appreciate, to a degree at least. More women firefighters, can't be a bad thing at all. Equality in the work place is a serious thing, and should be addressed in many roles. In many sectors we are seeing more and more balance of the sexes. Although the same can't be said for my own industry, comparisons drawn to similar roles but serving other trades would show the complete opposite. Different horses, for different courses and all that!
My problem comes when it comes to how people address a certain job role.
I have grown up with Policeman, Fireman , Postman, Milkman etc. It was a title for someone who carried out a role, and one I grew familiar with as I grew up. To me, the title is the same as Doctor, Manager, Actor etc. Actor being a strange one actually, as I grew up using actor and actress, but the gender was removed from that and it became actor. However many still use actress in day to day life.
Seeing a woman in a hospital, it was, and probably still is easy to use gender to identify a role, and a lot of people will still say "nurse" to a woman, and the same people will usually be surprised to see a man identify himself as a "nurse. It is an ongoing thing, but something I get the impression most are unbothered by, unless they are having a bit of a bad day, we all have them, right!
The main thing here is, these job titles are usually only used to address someone in a formal manner, or to get someones attention in a hurry. Not so much a term used all day, everyday.
And this is where my issue really starts to come into effect with firefighters. It comes across from the campaign, and many of the supporters of it, that it is the title (which many people will never use to address a firefighter) is the biggest concern. This came to a head yesterday for me when LFB Greenwich called out the wonderful Mr Nick Knowles of DIY SOS for using the term "firemen" in a tweet, thanking the Fire Service for their assistance.
When it comes to quickly hammering out a Tweet or other social media post, we revert to our basics, and quickly write what we feel while it is fresh in our minds. He didn't say "the men of the fire service" not even "the guys" but "firemen". This apparently is offensive and disrespectful to the firefighters, and was worth calling him out publicly on social media.
The post read :
You had the fire service in to help you pump out the water tonight. Clearly both male and female firefighters helping out, yet you referred to them as firemen. Did the woman not deserve recognition for her hard work too? #firefightingsexism
This was followed by this one :
If you see us as brave, please call us by our names. Surely that's not too much to ask? None of us want to be called firemen, we are firefighters.You're right, children do still call us firemen and most girls still think they can't become firefighters as a direct result of that.
Now, I am all for freedom of speech, and I am all for fairness and respect, but I start to lose patience when such things are put in writing, especially things like this.
Externally, the public perception of firefighters is fantastic. Sometimes we don't understand the realities of what they do. But the public rally behind them when cuts are made, wage increases are unfair, and safety is questionable. Events like Grenfell Tower really drove home to the people of London just how brave, amazing and worthy all these people are. Huge respect was shown, people lined the streets to thank them. But it seems after all that love and respect was shown, the real issue was the use of the word "man" !
Seriously!
When I was at school, I called the teachers sir and ma'am. Identifying them by gender, rather than by occupation. I get that that is different, there is no generic term for teacher, other than "teacher", which would be a little disrespectful. However, it is a term I was raised to use. As was fireman.
Forgive me for being a child of such a generation. I am told that the term "firefighter" has been the correct term for 30 years now, so maybe I should sue the education system for failing to teach me correctly. Maybe it is a form of child abuse to have been misinformed for so long. I am sure if I look for long enough, I can find someone to blame, but lets be realistic, it is too trivial to pursue.
I get that firefighters are not all men. I get that fireman is unrepresentative of the workforce. But that is what it is, a misrepresentation, nothing more. Not an intentional disrespect of the female firefighters, not a sexist attack on women, not discriminatory. It is just an old fashioned generalisation which has not yet died out. With time it will, just like other terms have been corrected over the generations.
The argument that the correct term has been "firefighter" for 30 years now, so people should be using it is invalid. The simple fact is, it has NOT been commonly known. People have not refused to use the term, they have simply not been educated. Society didn't rebel, or choose to be sexist, they simply never changed. Postman.... Still common a very common term, but very little said about that.
The rise of Dany Cotton to commissioner of the LFB is fantastic. great for workplace equality, great for moral, and a clear indication that sexism is no longer in place where it matters. I'm all for this sort of progress, and am pleased to see it continue into other sectors. Such as the Met, with Cresida Dick as the commissioner also. I wonder if the next push will be to demand that we use the term police officer religiously, rather than slipping up and saying Policeman. I do hope not. We are better than that, right?
My issue here, is not so much the message of the campaign, but the tone and ferocity of it. Being TOLD that firefighters will not have their job title dictated to them, and DEMAND that others call them by firefighter. Citing the term fireman as sexist and disrespectful.
I am going round and round in circles here now, I can tell, so I will summarise.
Some situations require a loud voice and stomping of feet to get the message across. Bully it through, and make people understand.
But sometimes, just a constant stream of information, repetition of a phrase, making it the norm, and more commonly used, is the way to go.
The media have trained us with many words over the years, more recently using immigrant instead of refugee, blurring the lines and changing the language of the masses, the same can be done here too.
People do listen, language does change, but not over night, and certainly not under duress. The message is fair, the method quite frankly sucks, and if there is anyone demonstrating disrespect, it is from the other side. Disrespecting the members of the public who dare to use a common adage, rather than carefully selecting the most PC term possible.
I love all members of our emergency services, and respect every single one of you. Just because I don't tell you every day, doesn't mean I have changed my views. Please, carry on with your campaign, but maybe stop being so precious about it, and making a huge issue of something which has not been addressed for 29 of the last 30 years.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Time, it's a strange old thing.
Time, the ticking clock of life, never stopping til our final breath. Constant in rhythm, but not in its direction.
I have had a lot of time recently to look back at my life, and make comparisons of then and now on many fronts. The deeper I have dug, the more I have realised about myself, and if I am honest, the more I have grown confused about who I am now. The thought process isn't a controlled one, nor a voluntary one. More something that imposes itself upon me at the most inopportune moments possible. Like when trying to relax or get some sleep.
Anger. That is the first thing I realise that has changed about me. People use the term "he has mellowed with age", and while it seems a bit cheesy, I have to say it is the case with me. I can look back and remember times when anger got the better of me, for the right and wrong reasons. Kicking a moving car as it jumped a red light almost hitting my new born daughters buggy, then chasing the driver down, who turned out to be huge, but not backing down. Punching through a panel in a door after a very emotional conversation with my daughters mum, telling me I couldn't see my daughter. Which resulted in slicing through my hand, gushing with blood, and having to call my heavily pregnant sister at work to ask her to come and help stop the bleeding.
The last true episode of frustration and anger I recall is when I had my Golf, back in about 2006, getting frustrated with the rear wiper I was trying to fix, knocking a few tools out of the toolbox, and losing it, and emptying the contents out, causing my then girlfriend to get very upset.
There have been many examples before that, but time has indeed mellowed me, or something has. While I still shout abuse when frustrated, and occasionally get mad at others on the road, the bulk of the anger is all in the past. Or should I say, the bulk of all irrational behaviour is history.
Then there is sadness to the point of crying. One of the emotions I really wish I hadn't lost, but went a long long time ago. The pressure valve that is crying, is a helpful one in life. When it all gets too much, it's nice (from what I recall) to just let it all go, and feel a bit better without all that emotion clogging you up inside. My last recollection of crying was around 2002, and if I recall correctly Simon Watts was the poor sod who had to listen to me blubbering on the phone for ages. But remembering back to then, I actually can, I remember by the end of the conversation feeling relieved. If you compare the need to crying to the need to pee, once it starts relief begins, and by the end of it, all is much better. Strange comparison, forgive me.
There have been lots of times in the past 13 years where crying probably would have really helped me out, but alas it doesn't happen. I get choked up, I get teary eyed, but that's as far as it goes. The death of loved ones, sad news shared with others, hell even emotional endings to films. Nothing sets the tear ducts in full motion these days, and quite frankly it sucks. I know people say some people cry too much, and I'm sure it's a chore to cry at everything, but bottling it up for years and years... That really isn't nice. If I ever do cry again, I might actually need to be put on a drip to keep me hydrated.
Other needs and emotions seem to have changed too. Like I would kill for a no strings cuddle up on the sofa with a take away and a movie, over a crazy lust filled chase for gratuitous sex. (NO, I am not saying I don't like sex anymore lol). I guess as you experience things in life, you learn what matters and what doesn't. The past decade has taught me some very valuable lessons in that department, including what physical acts are important to me over others. I know this is all a bit strange to share, but it's never stopped me in the past, so why get shy now eh.
I read an article this morning actually saying that five good long hugs a day are good for you, and it stimulates certain centres in the brain. The article is here... http://time.com/4042834/neuroscience-happy-rituals/
The content I refer to here is this part.
So any offers from any of my cute female friends to help me out with this one is appreciated. Til then, it's just me an my Primark pillow :'(
But seriously, of the few I have had over recent times, it is somewhat true. A hug can feel so warm and reassuring. Hence sofa snuffle over bedroom fumble.
Back when mum was about, I was living as the son role. Even though I was grown up, mentally I still just had fun and didn't care much for the consequences. In later years, looking after her, and having to take responsibility, and get a grip on actual adult living came as quite a shock. No more safety net, and worse still, I had lost my outlet of impartiality. Now and forever more when confiding information, or just blowing off steam, choosing the right person was imperative. Naturally I think at this point I stopped being totally open. And the bottling up of thoughts and emotions begun.
I know I am open on here, but trust me there are so many more things I would not dare share openly, or in fact with another person. Trust for me is hard to find.
And there we have the next thing that time has changed. Trust.
Once upon a time, although I would not open my heart to people, I trusted a few to carry some of my darker secrets. In recent years, there is no other way to say it than I have been betrayed. Hung out to dry and offered for sacrifice, in one case almost to the point of losing my job. Yet the same people who did these things happily speak to me when the mood suits as if there is nothing wrong. Even enquiring about personal matters, like I am going to share anything like that with the backstabbing arseholes. Not just the work issue, but other times when a closely guarded secret has suddenly been discussed with others, putting me in an awkward position.
I like to think I am a pretty open book, and a straight shooter. Want to know how I feel about something? Simple, ask me. You might not like what you hear if the question is about yourself, but I will do my best to convey my feelings on the matter.
So over the years I have learned not to trust people. Sadly that leaves a select few to be burdened with all my inner most thoughts. Sorry about that.
Time changes people, it's true. But more to the point our experiences in life, over time change us, and make us the people we are today. In my case I am not sure that is such a good thing. I would not go as far as to say I am broken, but I certainly feel like some experiences in life have had a negative impact on me.
After my daughter I lost interest in having any more kids, even if the relationship had presented the opportunity, I would shy away for sure. Having been through something so traumatic as to lose contact for so long, 17 years almost now, the thought of taking that chance again scared the shit out of me for years.
That's just one example of how my past has changed me. Before that happened I couldn't wait to be a dad. Sad really.
I will wrap up by saying how I realise how much recent times have again changed me, and when it comes to self confidence, approaching situations where rejection is possible, or just laying myself bare for judgement in any walk of life, I am weak!
Oh well. Time to rebuild I guess eh.
I have had a lot of time recently to look back at my life, and make comparisons of then and now on many fronts. The deeper I have dug, the more I have realised about myself, and if I am honest, the more I have grown confused about who I am now. The thought process isn't a controlled one, nor a voluntary one. More something that imposes itself upon me at the most inopportune moments possible. Like when trying to relax or get some sleep.
Anger. That is the first thing I realise that has changed about me. People use the term "he has mellowed with age", and while it seems a bit cheesy, I have to say it is the case with me. I can look back and remember times when anger got the better of me, for the right and wrong reasons. Kicking a moving car as it jumped a red light almost hitting my new born daughters buggy, then chasing the driver down, who turned out to be huge, but not backing down. Punching through a panel in a door after a very emotional conversation with my daughters mum, telling me I couldn't see my daughter. Which resulted in slicing through my hand, gushing with blood, and having to call my heavily pregnant sister at work to ask her to come and help stop the bleeding.
The last true episode of frustration and anger I recall is when I had my Golf, back in about 2006, getting frustrated with the rear wiper I was trying to fix, knocking a few tools out of the toolbox, and losing it, and emptying the contents out, causing my then girlfriend to get very upset.
There have been many examples before that, but time has indeed mellowed me, or something has. While I still shout abuse when frustrated, and occasionally get mad at others on the road, the bulk of the anger is all in the past. Or should I say, the bulk of all irrational behaviour is history.
Then there is sadness to the point of crying. One of the emotions I really wish I hadn't lost, but went a long long time ago. The pressure valve that is crying, is a helpful one in life. When it all gets too much, it's nice (from what I recall) to just let it all go, and feel a bit better without all that emotion clogging you up inside. My last recollection of crying was around 2002, and if I recall correctly Simon Watts was the poor sod who had to listen to me blubbering on the phone for ages. But remembering back to then, I actually can, I remember by the end of the conversation feeling relieved. If you compare the need to crying to the need to pee, once it starts relief begins, and by the end of it, all is much better. Strange comparison, forgive me.
There have been lots of times in the past 13 years where crying probably would have really helped me out, but alas it doesn't happen. I get choked up, I get teary eyed, but that's as far as it goes. The death of loved ones, sad news shared with others, hell even emotional endings to films. Nothing sets the tear ducts in full motion these days, and quite frankly it sucks. I know people say some people cry too much, and I'm sure it's a chore to cry at everything, but bottling it up for years and years... That really isn't nice. If I ever do cry again, I might actually need to be put on a drip to keep me hydrated.
Other needs and emotions seem to have changed too. Like I would kill for a no strings cuddle up on the sofa with a take away and a movie, over a crazy lust filled chase for gratuitous sex. (NO, I am not saying I don't like sex anymore lol). I guess as you experience things in life, you learn what matters and what doesn't. The past decade has taught me some very valuable lessons in that department, including what physical acts are important to me over others. I know this is all a bit strange to share, but it's never stopped me in the past, so why get shy now eh.
I read an article this morning actually saying that five good long hugs a day are good for you, and it stimulates certain centres in the brain. The article is here... http://time.com/4042834/neuroscience-happy-rituals/
The content I refer to here is this part.
So hug someone today. And do not accept little, quick hugs. No, no, no. Tell them your neuroscientist recommended long hugs.
Via The Upward Spiral:
A hug, especially a long one, releases a neurotransmitter and hormone oxytocin, which reduces the reactivity of the amygdala.
Research shows getting five hugs a day for four weeks increases happiness big time.
So any offers from any of my cute female friends to help me out with this one is appreciated. Til then, it's just me an my Primark pillow :'(
But seriously, of the few I have had over recent times, it is somewhat true. A hug can feel so warm and reassuring. Hence sofa snuffle over bedroom fumble.
Back when mum was about, I was living as the son role. Even though I was grown up, mentally I still just had fun and didn't care much for the consequences. In later years, looking after her, and having to take responsibility, and get a grip on actual adult living came as quite a shock. No more safety net, and worse still, I had lost my outlet of impartiality. Now and forever more when confiding information, or just blowing off steam, choosing the right person was imperative. Naturally I think at this point I stopped being totally open. And the bottling up of thoughts and emotions begun.
I know I am open on here, but trust me there are so many more things I would not dare share openly, or in fact with another person. Trust for me is hard to find.
And there we have the next thing that time has changed. Trust.
Once upon a time, although I would not open my heart to people, I trusted a few to carry some of my darker secrets. In recent years, there is no other way to say it than I have been betrayed. Hung out to dry and offered for sacrifice, in one case almost to the point of losing my job. Yet the same people who did these things happily speak to me when the mood suits as if there is nothing wrong. Even enquiring about personal matters, like I am going to share anything like that with the backstabbing arseholes. Not just the work issue, but other times when a closely guarded secret has suddenly been discussed with others, putting me in an awkward position.
I like to think I am a pretty open book, and a straight shooter. Want to know how I feel about something? Simple, ask me. You might not like what you hear if the question is about yourself, but I will do my best to convey my feelings on the matter.
So over the years I have learned not to trust people. Sadly that leaves a select few to be burdened with all my inner most thoughts. Sorry about that.
Time changes people, it's true. But more to the point our experiences in life, over time change us, and make us the people we are today. In my case I am not sure that is such a good thing. I would not go as far as to say I am broken, but I certainly feel like some experiences in life have had a negative impact on me.
After my daughter I lost interest in having any more kids, even if the relationship had presented the opportunity, I would shy away for sure. Having been through something so traumatic as to lose contact for so long, 17 years almost now, the thought of taking that chance again scared the shit out of me for years.
That's just one example of how my past has changed me. Before that happened I couldn't wait to be a dad. Sad really.
I will wrap up by saying how I realise how much recent times have again changed me, and when it comes to self confidence, approaching situations where rejection is possible, or just laying myself bare for judgement in any walk of life, I am weak!
Oh well. Time to rebuild I guess eh.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Time marches on.
It's true, no matter what is going on in your life, what has happened, if you are paying attention or not, time waits for no man (yes, yes, or woman!).
It takes a glitch in the routine, a break from the norm to make you realise where you actually are right now. Like the monotonous daily commute, from time to time we look up and think "how the hell did I get here?" In reality we do that a lot, and think nothing of it.
However when something bigger happens, a change of job, a death, a break-up (well of course I was going to squeeze that one in somehow), once we get control of the spinning and pull out of the impending spiral of doom, suddenly it becomes apparent that things have changed around us.
This could be in many different ways, people, things, places. A bit vague maybe? Then I shall dig a little deeper.
For example, the people around us. There are those close to us, who we engage with daily. We know them well, and they form part of the structure of our daily routine. As simple as a shopkeeper, as important as a partner, they are all the fabric of our reality. Then there are those we tolerate. People we don't get much of a choice but to interact with, however wouldn't if we could help it. Co-workers are the main category here, although friends of friends can fall into this one quite often too.
Then there is "the rest". The background noise so to speak. We can come across the same people day in day out and never really pay any attention to them whatsoever. Or very little at best.
The crazy thing is, in times of confusion and need, all roles are reversed, and priorities change. In our routine, the background noise settles, and almost goes away, and we focus on the other two categories. But when routine is gone, all the noise returns.
An example if I may.
A busy underground station, full of faceless people making their own noises, all adding up to a crushing bombardment of sound. On a good day, in good company, engrossed in conversation with the friend, the sound is barely there, we are cocooned in our safe, happy world. Take that person away, and add a simple niggling concern to your mind, and the platform is suddenly deafening. So much noise, hard to think, the mind goes into overdrive.
Thankfully, finding ourselves out in the wilderness of the outer circles of life, isn't too common, and in general we don't go through it too many times in life. Depending on what sort of person you are will no doubt dictate how you cope out there. Overthinkers beware! It's is a minefield packed with booby traps and potholes. That said, there is a way through, so don't panic. For most, it is a simple journey finding their way back into the security of what remains of the inner circles. Supported by our caring friends, normality returns quickly, and we are back on track.
All that said and done, there IS a point to this, so let me see if I can find it in the mess.
How can I put this without sounding too stupid. Who am I trying to kid, most of my blogs sound a little bit daft at the best of times.
We are like cogs, and to operate properly we need a certain amount of corresponding cogs to work with. Being like this gives us support, and allows us to support others at the same time (nice eh!). So when something changes, we need to ensure the cogs keep turning. For some of us we prioritise ourselves, and some of us focus on the others. Either way, the time we spend paying more attention to our surroundings is important. It gives us time to appreciate that its not all just background noise, and that some of it is good stuff. It's almost like an intake of new friends.
Be it, socialising more, and realising what people bring to the table, taking more time to talk, and appreciating just how much you have in common with others. Or sometimes that stark reality, that you were living a lie! Whatever it is, to coin a phrase "It's good to talk".
When we talk, we listen. Well that's the idea anyway. I seem to excel at talking, but listening is a weakness at times. In fact talking is important to me, it's almost like a release valve, getting all the excess pressure out of my head, and just out there. Doesn't need deep, intellectual conversation, just a sounding board to blurt it all out to once in a while. As you might have guessed, occasionally I use my blog for this purpose, and this could actually be one of those times.
Anyway.... When we listen, we engage, and connect with people, and this is the key to it all.
From time to time when these encounters happen, we realise we actually enjoy the interaction of a person, and wonder why it was so hard to have bothered with this before. Then, before you know it, they are part of the routine.
So I guess what I am trying to say, and I have to guess at this point as it has gone all over the place now... The point is, change isn't a bad thing. Yup, it's unsettling, sure it leaves us feeling lost and vulnerable at times. But the positive side is, it is like us having a review of our lives, and who we surround ourselves with. A short moment to take stock of what you have in life, and what you are missing from your life. And most of all, an opportunity to make changes for the better, and fill those gaps.
Maybe the opportunity will present, and you will shy away. Maybe you will try and make something out of nothing. Or maybe just for once you will throw caution to the wind, scream "FUCK IT" from the highest point you can find, and just take a chance for once.
However you have read this, please take great comfort in the knowledge that I have got all this off my chest, and somewhere in all those words, I have made sense of what is going on once more in my complex little head. Take a look outside once in a while.... It's really not so bad.
It takes a glitch in the routine, a break from the norm to make you realise where you actually are right now. Like the monotonous daily commute, from time to time we look up and think "how the hell did I get here?" In reality we do that a lot, and think nothing of it.
However when something bigger happens, a change of job, a death, a break-up (well of course I was going to squeeze that one in somehow), once we get control of the spinning and pull out of the impending spiral of doom, suddenly it becomes apparent that things have changed around us.
This could be in many different ways, people, things, places. A bit vague maybe? Then I shall dig a little deeper.
For example, the people around us. There are those close to us, who we engage with daily. We know them well, and they form part of the structure of our daily routine. As simple as a shopkeeper, as important as a partner, they are all the fabric of our reality. Then there are those we tolerate. People we don't get much of a choice but to interact with, however wouldn't if we could help it. Co-workers are the main category here, although friends of friends can fall into this one quite often too.
Then there is "the rest". The background noise so to speak. We can come across the same people day in day out and never really pay any attention to them whatsoever. Or very little at best.
The crazy thing is, in times of confusion and need, all roles are reversed, and priorities change. In our routine, the background noise settles, and almost goes away, and we focus on the other two categories. But when routine is gone, all the noise returns.
An example if I may.
A busy underground station, full of faceless people making their own noises, all adding up to a crushing bombardment of sound. On a good day, in good company, engrossed in conversation with the friend, the sound is barely there, we are cocooned in our safe, happy world. Take that person away, and add a simple niggling concern to your mind, and the platform is suddenly deafening. So much noise, hard to think, the mind goes into overdrive.
Thankfully, finding ourselves out in the wilderness of the outer circles of life, isn't too common, and in general we don't go through it too many times in life. Depending on what sort of person you are will no doubt dictate how you cope out there. Overthinkers beware! It's is a minefield packed with booby traps and potholes. That said, there is a way through, so don't panic. For most, it is a simple journey finding their way back into the security of what remains of the inner circles. Supported by our caring friends, normality returns quickly, and we are back on track.
All that said and done, there IS a point to this, so let me see if I can find it in the mess.
How can I put this without sounding too stupid. Who am I trying to kid, most of my blogs sound a little bit daft at the best of times.
We are like cogs, and to operate properly we need a certain amount of corresponding cogs to work with. Being like this gives us support, and allows us to support others at the same time (nice eh!). So when something changes, we need to ensure the cogs keep turning. For some of us we prioritise ourselves, and some of us focus on the others. Either way, the time we spend paying more attention to our surroundings is important. It gives us time to appreciate that its not all just background noise, and that some of it is good stuff. It's almost like an intake of new friends.
Be it, socialising more, and realising what people bring to the table, taking more time to talk, and appreciating just how much you have in common with others. Or sometimes that stark reality, that you were living a lie! Whatever it is, to coin a phrase "It's good to talk".
When we talk, we listen. Well that's the idea anyway. I seem to excel at talking, but listening is a weakness at times. In fact talking is important to me, it's almost like a release valve, getting all the excess pressure out of my head, and just out there. Doesn't need deep, intellectual conversation, just a sounding board to blurt it all out to once in a while. As you might have guessed, occasionally I use my blog for this purpose, and this could actually be one of those times.
Anyway.... When we listen, we engage, and connect with people, and this is the key to it all.
From time to time when these encounters happen, we realise we actually enjoy the interaction of a person, and wonder why it was so hard to have bothered with this before. Then, before you know it, they are part of the routine.
So I guess what I am trying to say, and I have to guess at this point as it has gone all over the place now... The point is, change isn't a bad thing. Yup, it's unsettling, sure it leaves us feeling lost and vulnerable at times. But the positive side is, it is like us having a review of our lives, and who we surround ourselves with. A short moment to take stock of what you have in life, and what you are missing from your life. And most of all, an opportunity to make changes for the better, and fill those gaps.
Maybe the opportunity will present, and you will shy away. Maybe you will try and make something out of nothing. Or maybe just for once you will throw caution to the wind, scream "FUCK IT" from the highest point you can find, and just take a chance for once.
However you have read this, please take great comfort in the knowledge that I have got all this off my chest, and somewhere in all those words, I have made sense of what is going on once more in my complex little head. Take a look outside once in a while.... It's really not so bad.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
We interrupt this broadcast...
...for something that really just can't wait.
Now let's be frank about this now, I am really no role model. Poor health, terrible track record of life in general, and prolific babbling. Just a few of my redeeming features if you may.
However there is one thing I pride myself in, and that is inspiring. I won't blow my own trumpet here, its hardly ground breaking. I didn't give Mark Zuckerberg an idea for a website, and I can't take credit for the iPhone. But what I can say is, some of my rambling and babbling has changed peoples perceptions at times, and at other times given a little added drive.
Here I go babbling again. So let's cut to the point.
P90X, there I said it. Since starting 8 weeks ago now, as well as losing weight, training like a dog and seeing great gains, I haven't shut up about it. Twitter takes a beating daily from my @therealslimsnaz account, and hashtags such as #Fit4Forty #P90X and my new favourite #P90Xpress are my own mark on the place.
Tonight I hear from someone to say that they have heard their calling and are climbing onboard the P90Xpress. So I thought I would dedicate this entry to them, and anyone else considering, or starting the P90X journey.
So here goes....
You have clearly considered changing your lifestyle a few times over recent times, and once or twice looked in the mirror and thought 'not bad but room to improve'. God knows how many times I did that before I got on board. Maybe its health, maybe its vanity, maybe its none of the above.
Whatever the cause and reason you have arrived at this point, here are some things I want to share with you.
Any program that is worth investing time in will be demanding, challenging, and sometimes borderline soul destroying. While I have hit P90X Noel @Bampson has hit Insanity. Two very challenging regimes from the BeachBody stables. Can we compare, naaa not really, do we compete and drive one another, well yes I think we do.
So fellow P90X'ers. Firstly, welcome aboard.
Secondly, and this is important now... You can do anything you put your mind to. The first week of P90X is going to make even some fit people think they are dying each time they press play. But that's a good thing. It is key not to forget the first week or two. Those memories will be the driving force right up through the program until you finish Week 13. Remember the struggle, the poor form, the light weights and low reps.... Soon they will all be history.
Breathing is key. Like any exercise, lack of air will result in struggling badly. But as time progresses you will find yourself skipping along through routines, breathlessness will be a think of the past, and your body will be filled with excess energy, a feeling of being SO alive will consume you, and by half way through the program you will be hungry for more.
Another thing is, don't skip a thing, try everything. If at first you don't succeed, try try try again! Yoga is a challenge, and it has taken me weeks to master some postures and poses. Balance will soon become your friend, and you will catch yourself improving in things in your day to day life, all based on new found ability and flexibility. Yoga isn't weird at all, its your friend, and an important part of the P90X program.
Core Synergistics, and Plyometrics... If you are not cardio savvy, fear them, just a little. But again, over time you will benefit so much from them. Hell I can't walk up stairs anymore, I have to bound up them 2-3 at a time. Jumping down flights for fun, and doing all sorts of other weird energetic stuff.
I could go on, but my message is simple. P90X or Insanity for that matter are there for YOU. Commercial gain, well yes maybe a touch, but the physical gain and reward far outweighs the financial outlay, trust me on this one.
2 months has seen 2 stone drop from my weight. I still pig out, hell I'm eating chocolate buttons as I write this! I have dropped 2 sizes in clothing, gained muscle mass and definition. Get comments left right and centre about how I have changed, and I brim with so much confidence now I'm almost arrogant. Ok correction, I'm even more arrogant than I have ever been. But arrogant with the right to be.
I have dieted in the past, and won't knock LighterLife and Protikee, they were great. But P90X has honestly changed my life, and my entire lifestyle too. I am already planning months and months ahead. What training I will do next (Tai Cheng + P90X), setting higher goals, and feeling so amazing and driven I can't explain.
So, Amit (my Twitter friend lol) I hope this helps in some way. And to anyone else reading this wondering if P90X is for you..... It is what you make it. Give it 100%, and your return will be greater, guaranteed. I look forwards to hearing about the first weeks, and am here if there are any questions or you feel I can help.
And remember #P90Xpress :)
Sent using BlackBerry®
Now let's be frank about this now, I am really no role model. Poor health, terrible track record of life in general, and prolific babbling. Just a few of my redeeming features if you may.
However there is one thing I pride myself in, and that is inspiring. I won't blow my own trumpet here, its hardly ground breaking. I didn't give Mark Zuckerberg an idea for a website, and I can't take credit for the iPhone. But what I can say is, some of my rambling and babbling has changed peoples perceptions at times, and at other times given a little added drive.
Here I go babbling again. So let's cut to the point.
P90X, there I said it. Since starting 8 weeks ago now, as well as losing weight, training like a dog and seeing great gains, I haven't shut up about it. Twitter takes a beating daily from my @therealslimsnaz account, and hashtags such as #Fit4Forty #P90X and my new favourite #P90Xpress are my own mark on the place.
Tonight I hear from someone to say that they have heard their calling and are climbing onboard the P90Xpress. So I thought I would dedicate this entry to them, and anyone else considering, or starting the P90X journey.
So here goes....
You have clearly considered changing your lifestyle a few times over recent times, and once or twice looked in the mirror and thought 'not bad but room to improve'. God knows how many times I did that before I got on board. Maybe its health, maybe its vanity, maybe its none of the above.
Whatever the cause and reason you have arrived at this point, here are some things I want to share with you.
Any program that is worth investing time in will be demanding, challenging, and sometimes borderline soul destroying. While I have hit P90X Noel @Bampson has hit Insanity. Two very challenging regimes from the BeachBody stables. Can we compare, naaa not really, do we compete and drive one another, well yes I think we do.
So fellow P90X'ers. Firstly, welcome aboard.
Secondly, and this is important now... You can do anything you put your mind to. The first week of P90X is going to make even some fit people think they are dying each time they press play. But that's a good thing. It is key not to forget the first week or two. Those memories will be the driving force right up through the program until you finish Week 13. Remember the struggle, the poor form, the light weights and low reps.... Soon they will all be history.
Breathing is key. Like any exercise, lack of air will result in struggling badly. But as time progresses you will find yourself skipping along through routines, breathlessness will be a think of the past, and your body will be filled with excess energy, a feeling of being SO alive will consume you, and by half way through the program you will be hungry for more.
Another thing is, don't skip a thing, try everything. If at first you don't succeed, try try try again! Yoga is a challenge, and it has taken me weeks to master some postures and poses. Balance will soon become your friend, and you will catch yourself improving in things in your day to day life, all based on new found ability and flexibility. Yoga isn't weird at all, its your friend, and an important part of the P90X program.
Core Synergistics, and Plyometrics... If you are not cardio savvy, fear them, just a little. But again, over time you will benefit so much from them. Hell I can't walk up stairs anymore, I have to bound up them 2-3 at a time. Jumping down flights for fun, and doing all sorts of other weird energetic stuff.
I could go on, but my message is simple. P90X or Insanity for that matter are there for YOU. Commercial gain, well yes maybe a touch, but the physical gain and reward far outweighs the financial outlay, trust me on this one.
2 months has seen 2 stone drop from my weight. I still pig out, hell I'm eating chocolate buttons as I write this! I have dropped 2 sizes in clothing, gained muscle mass and definition. Get comments left right and centre about how I have changed, and I brim with so much confidence now I'm almost arrogant. Ok correction, I'm even more arrogant than I have ever been. But arrogant with the right to be.
I have dieted in the past, and won't knock LighterLife and Protikee, they were great. But P90X has honestly changed my life, and my entire lifestyle too. I am already planning months and months ahead. What training I will do next (Tai Cheng + P90X), setting higher goals, and feeling so amazing and driven I can't explain.
So, Amit (my Twitter friend lol) I hope this helps in some way. And to anyone else reading this wondering if P90X is for you..... It is what you make it. Give it 100%, and your return will be greater, guaranteed. I look forwards to hearing about the first weeks, and am here if there are any questions or you feel I can help.
And remember #P90Xpress :)
Sent using BlackBerry®
Thursday, April 12, 2012
BOOM! Sub 210lbs !
Sub 210, and by quite some margin too I have to say. Officially putting me now in the 14 stone 'something' category. To me, that is major progress, and also a little consolation that I can't train today.
Instead of resting up for a day or two, and losing motivation, I have just stoked up the fire for the next weigh in, and see how far I can get below 210 now.
Next question is, 'is sub 200 a reality now?'
Let's be clear here, I'm really not at the point of doing myself any damage, other than stupid things like my achillies. My intake is sensible, and sometimes even a little lavish now. The weight loss is progressive, and the routine is demanding yet effective.
Mixed in with all this weight loss is a little muscle gain too, so things are progressing nicely now.
Thanks for sharing my moment of glory with me :)
Monday, April 2, 2012
Welcome to Week 7, I'm BACK !
What can I tell you. Week 6 so me smash into 'the wall', but that was soon overcome. A mental block not a physical one was never going to stand in my way for long. Once it was dealt with and dispatched it was time to get on with a hard week ahead. Needless to say, I maintained the momentum I used to smash through the wall, and used it to carry me through the remainder of the week.
However there was one HUGE negative for the week, and that was intake. It was terrible, shocking and very poor to say the least. I wont say it impacted me too badly, there was no weight gain and no issues with training. However I got caught up in a treat cycle and has way too many treats and cheat foods. It was something I was aware that I was doing wrong, and now it is time to overcome and conquer.
So this is my intake for the coming weeks.
Obviously I will be eating more than this, but this is the bulk of it.
This week, Week 7 is the week where I start to make a real difference to myself. My intake is back on track, although quite controversial as some do not feel it offers the right nutrients to support my routine, while others think it is too junk filled. For me, I feel I have found the right balance to get me through a heavy workout, and aid weight-loss and muscle growth too. Inside and out all seems to be working well to me, so based on that I will keep going with what I know best.
In addition to this there is now the option of Creatine. I have used it before, and know what the gains are, and also what the downsides are. There has been a lot of good and bad press about the stuff over the years, but for me there were never any harsh effects. My patience can be a little shorter, and I pee a lot more on it. But other than that there was never anything to worry about for me. The interesting part will be how much MORE I can actually pee. With my current diet, and increased fluid intake, I dont think it can get much worse, but time will tell.
The upsides however, judging by the past, were always positive. Excellent recovery times, good muscle growth, and plenty of energy. These are all of course based on me training in a much more aggressive fashion and back some 15-18 years now lol. So things might have changed a little bit in my physical capabilities etc. So with this all in mind I am going to start stacking up on Creatine from tomorrow, and watching for any differences in my personality and training ability in the coming weeks. By the end of the stacking week I will be finished with the heavier part of P90X Phase 2, and will be back on to the stretch cycle. Phase 2 Week 4. So my use of it will be gentle from the start, and a gradual build up as I slip into Phase 3 of the routine. Another exciting step for me.
Speaking of exciting steps and stretch week, I finally caught on camera where I am with Yoga at the moment. One of the greatest achievements for me during P90X without a doubt it the improvement in flexibility. It is something I have always lacked, but always wanted to improve on, but I have never gotten around to doing anything about it. However as part of the P90X routine, I was finally facing a good attempt at Yoga. I have to say, of all the yoga videos I have tried in the past this is without a doubt the easiest to follow, the best thought out and the one I have managed to get up to speed with, while avoiding frustration and getting the feeling of failure. So without any further ado, here is my current stage.
Now I know its not ground breaking, and some who do yoga will scoff that its not anything spectacular. However for me, a shoulder stand is a feat in itself, let alone the added flexibility to get my legs where they are. But it doesnt stop there for me. Now I have seen what I can do, I want more. Next step, knees down, lets see if I can get that done in the coming weeks.
Wow this entry is dragging on a bit isnt it. I guess I should wrap it up there.
Only things left to say are well done to Noel and Marsha who are working off each other as they work through Insanity. Also Baljit who is fighting her way into Insanity too. Ed who is doing his own thing but making good ground, and finally to Ivan and Laura who are making the most of the gym and fighting for fitness.
So heres to the final weeks of Phase 2, and getting things in order.
However there was one HUGE negative for the week, and that was intake. It was terrible, shocking and very poor to say the least. I wont say it impacted me too badly, there was no weight gain and no issues with training. However I got caught up in a treat cycle and has way too many treats and cheat foods. It was something I was aware that I was doing wrong, and now it is time to overcome and conquer.
So this is my intake for the coming weeks.
This week, Week 7 is the week where I start to make a real difference to myself. My intake is back on track, although quite controversial as some do not feel it offers the right nutrients to support my routine, while others think it is too junk filled. For me, I feel I have found the right balance to get me through a heavy workout, and aid weight-loss and muscle growth too. Inside and out all seems to be working well to me, so based on that I will keep going with what I know best.
In addition to this there is now the option of Creatine. I have used it before, and know what the gains are, and also what the downsides are. There has been a lot of good and bad press about the stuff over the years, but for me there were never any harsh effects. My patience can be a little shorter, and I pee a lot more on it. But other than that there was never anything to worry about for me. The interesting part will be how much MORE I can actually pee. With my current diet, and increased fluid intake, I dont think it can get much worse, but time will tell.
The upsides however, judging by the past, were always positive. Excellent recovery times, good muscle growth, and plenty of energy. These are all of course based on me training in a much more aggressive fashion and back some 15-18 years now lol. So things might have changed a little bit in my physical capabilities etc. So with this all in mind I am going to start stacking up on Creatine from tomorrow, and watching for any differences in my personality and training ability in the coming weeks. By the end of the stacking week I will be finished with the heavier part of P90X Phase 2, and will be back on to the stretch cycle. Phase 2 Week 4. So my use of it will be gentle from the start, and a gradual build up as I slip into Phase 3 of the routine. Another exciting step for me.
Speaking of exciting steps and stretch week, I finally caught on camera where I am with Yoga at the moment. One of the greatest achievements for me during P90X without a doubt it the improvement in flexibility. It is something I have always lacked, but always wanted to improve on, but I have never gotten around to doing anything about it. However as part of the P90X routine, I was finally facing a good attempt at Yoga. I have to say, of all the yoga videos I have tried in the past this is without a doubt the easiest to follow, the best thought out and the one I have managed to get up to speed with, while avoiding frustration and getting the feeling of failure. So without any further ado, here is my current stage.
Wow this entry is dragging on a bit isnt it. I guess I should wrap it up there.
Only things left to say are well done to Noel and Marsha who are working off each other as they work through Insanity. Also Baljit who is fighting her way into Insanity too. Ed who is doing his own thing but making good ground, and finally to Ivan and Laura who are making the most of the gym and fighting for fitness.
So heres to the final weeks of Phase 2, and getting things in order.
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