I have lived in you for 45 years, over 3/4 of my life now, and we have seen some great times together. Your streets have taught me many life lessons, as well as burned me at times (my own stupid fault). You are my home, the place I miss when I am away, and the views of your rooftops, especially the church that peeks out at the top of my road, are always a welcome sight.
I have lived elsewhere, I have visited many places, but have always felt most comfortable right back within your streets.
My childhood was spent exploring the local roads. Finding all those alleyways, and cul-de-sacs hidden away from the view of every day life. Absolute gems of architecture, which I have grown to respect with age, and of course the odd blot on the landscape.
From a young child, to a man now in his 40's, you have shown me the values of a home, rather than a place to live, and I hope as the years go by, we will continue to have a wonderful relationship.
But..... SE23, there is a problem. It's not me, it's not you...... IT'S THEM !!!
Who the hell are these entitled arseholes who have moved in? When did SE23 become full of pompous idiots who demand all their demands are met. We want this shop, we don't like this company, who are these people who have parties, it's too light, dark, grey, green..... Please, make them go away!
We were happy for so long. All the people who have spent their lives here with us, growing with the area, seeing businesses come and go. The Swiss Cottage, Woolworths, The Golden Griddle, the old petrol station on Waldram Park Road.... So many memories of days gone by, but all replaced by modern day businesses or building, most of which I welcome. Obviously, nothing is perfect, but as a whole, I love you SE23.
So back to those people. They are ruining what we have. The spillover from other local areas, reluctant to say they simply could not afford to live elsewhere, they tell us they are part of the "gentrification" of the area. The new breed, the start of a movement to bring the area up to date, and with the times.
For starters, some of these people need to understand what gentrification actually is. It is not modernisation, or a slight change in social wealth in an area. It is a bricks up redesign on an area for social development, and pushing out the existing people.
Let's get one thing straight here, we (the natives of the area) ain't going nowhere. Don't like us, don't like our ways? Simple, don't move here.
Recent years have seen people move to this lovely area, and start smear campaigns about loved locals, made snide comments to damage people and businesses which simply don't fit into their perfect little worlds, and started some sort of movement to turn the area into something it quite simply is not.
SE23, you are beautiful, filled with green spaces, tree lined streets, wide roads, and many lovely people and businesses, but a village, no! Quaint, nope! As for prime for gentrification.... Fuck right off!
I know you know I want what is best for you, I think I have gotten to know you pretty well over the years. So please, sell yourself more to the mainstream, lets see those building projects, the NIMBY arseholes are all crying about, happen. Bring on the chain stores like Costa to give the local independents a kick in the pants where needed. Domino's can't come soon enough, and lets see the good people of SE23 rise up and claim back what is theirs.
No more of this "I want it this way" bullshit. Talk of blocking cycle paths with concrete blocks, just in case mopeds ride through fire gates.... WTF !! What sort of nonsense is this? Who are these people who are moving in to this area? This is not the mindset of South London, this is people who think they live in South Kensington. Get a grip people!!
Now I love people, I love diversity, and I want this to work, I really do SE23. We can all live together in perfect harmony I am sure. We just need to be a bit more picky about some of the people moving in, and let them know where exactly they are moving in to. Streets are no uniquely lined with independent shops, simply because, well..... you are a town, not a village! Lidl and Aldi are popular because, well.... Most people shop with their budgets in mind, and don't let their precious egos get in the way. Good quality food, at affordable prices. Not the same food at over inflated prices, with premium price tags attached.
I think you are worthy of the finest businesses which suit the needs of our area, I really do. However I also know you don't take it to heart when some brands choose not to open branches in your neighbourhood. Usually based on the demographic of the area, and the projected revenues. I think the only people with a problem with this are those who, just for a moment, realise they are not living in the suburban utopia they like to think they are. A momentary reality check, you live in South London, get over yourself you pompous idiot.
SE23, if it is OK with you, I want to renew our vows to one another, just as long as you promise this is just a glitch, and that the madness will end one day. Sure, lets move up the ranks of most desirable places to live, let's celebrate the wonderful area that you really are, but don't let them bully you into over stretching yourself. You are perfect just the way you are.
As a side note... Dear people of the area, if you have lived here over 10-15 years, I am sure you appreciate the area for all it has to offer. There are some great tight knit communities around the area, speaking from personal experience, I know in times of need my neighbours have my back, and we are as one.
If you have moved in over recent years, and are one of these who chooses not to get to know any of your neighbours, or take an immediate dislike to them, well, quite frankly, that is your problem. Please don't move to an area which is loaded with history, family legacies, and so much more, and immediately think that things should be done differently now that you have moved in.
It doesn't work like that, and if you don't like it, do one! Do your research, find out about an area, and neighbourhood, rather than moving in and suddenly expecting to become the head of the house. If you demand certain businesses, don't like the wildlife in an area broken into two districts, one with FOREST in the name and the other with PARK in it, don't move to it!
I am sick and tired of hearing the whining of the primadonnas, complaining that bin men are noisy, mopeds use the streets, their flat white is too milky, or that a frickin pizza place is daring to open locally to them! Get a grip of yourselves, or STFU, please!!
I could go on for ages about this, but can actually feel myself turning into a whining little NIMBY, so am going to go to the spa and have a green tea and meditate for a while....
Seriously though. If you are just moving in, or moved in recently, welcome to the area. Please take some time to get to know your neighbours, hell, just do a leaflet drop with some contact details, and a hi, you don't have to buy everyone hampers, or invite them over for canapes, (thats no how we do things around here!). SE23 is a fantastic area to live. Perfect, no, but it sure as hell doesn't need a Laurence Llewelyn Bowen make over.... Maybe a little DIY SOS at best :)
I guess it is worth adding, for fairness and balance. There is nothing wrong with hoping for improvements to an area when you move in. Hell, there is no such place as the perfect area. I have no issue with that whatsoever. Nor do I have a problem with new people moving in. It's a free country, and I don't blame you for wanting to move into this lovely area.
The people I speak of a a tiny but very vocal minority, much like those who read this entry in its original form, and took immediate offence, and told me I was wrong, and my words were poison. See, THAT is the problem right there.... Not just an opinion, FACT, I was wrong.
Showing posts with label community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label community. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Sunday, June 3, 2018
Dear Mr Mod......
Some time ago now, I wrote an entry called "Dear Steve Shaw". It was a very blunt and open entry regarding the behaviour of the owner and admin of SE23.com.
At the time of writing the piece, I had had a number of fallings out with Mr Shaw, and I was part of a new beginning for a local forum for the area.
SE23.life was born, and the pissing contest begun. Most stones being thrown from .com at .life, and a few low blows along the way, with Wikipedia being edited, porn links being posted, and reports being made to the local authority for posting a few flyers up.
When I wrote the piece, Mr Mod was delighted, and felt the tone was fair and just, and raised topics which seemed to have gone under the radar for the majority. All is fair in love and war so they say.
However, as time has gone by, myself and Mr Mod have grown apart. Differences in opinions on religious and political matters to name just a couple of the subjects which have caused much debate. Sadly due to me confessing to mental health issues, and choosing to step back from the forum a number of times, first from Moderator, then as a user, I have for some reason been deemed unstable, and this has been to topic of many a personal snipe and attack on the forum ever since.
When I first stepped back, I was unhappy with comments being made about lower income families, and the proposed social cleansing of the area, with Mr Mod expressing that people who could not afford to pay their rent themselves should move to an area they can afford, and make space for those more affluent. For someone who has come from a low income family, and lived in the area all my life, that is a bitter pill to swallow.
When I finally decided to leave the forum once and for all, and felt my name had been dragged through the mud enough, I asked for my posts to be deleted. I was told this was technically possible, but was a lot of work, and did I really want to damage some well established threads by rendering them unreadable.
So my presence was now undesirable, but the conversations I had started when I was in favour, well they could stay. Trying not to rock the cart too much, I agreed to leave my posts be.
I have attempted to engage in various conversations on the forum since this time, but for some reason, Mr Mod sees any comments opposing his opinions as "personal attacks". In fact on a number of occasions, both via PM and more recently on a lesser read forum section, Mr Mod has taken it upon himself to claim to be the victim of personal attacks himself, all the while throwing stone after stone of accusation at my name. Usually in these cases, the right to reply has been removed by closing the discussion, only allowing people of certain forum privileges to be able to comment. Needless to say, these spats have gone on and on.
On the matter of personal attacks, the same topic arises time and time again, which is a conversation which was had on Facebook and Facebook Messenger regarding some activities by a group of Muslims during Eid. The story made the news, as heavy rain had washed the blood of morning sacrifices into the streets, and a photo showed the streets "running red with blood".
While happily discussing this with a friend on FB, Mr Mod added his opinions, and begun expressing his disgust at the event. Fair enough, it is not to everyones taste. However as the comments became stronger, I received a message from Mr Mod on FB Messenger , expressing his surprise and shock that I, as an owner of a few dogs, would make excuses for such a barbaric act, and telling me how medieval the behaviour of the Muslims featured in the story was.
As the conversation went on, in my opinion, it became apparent that Mr Mod has some deep seated issues with Islam, so I ended the conversation, and later blocked him from my FB.
Later posts on the forum from Mr Mod have time and time again brought into question his stance on Islam and Muslims. With links being posted to extremism stories, followed by a "disclaimer" saying that not all Muslims are bad, and most are fine. Might as well add "I have a friend who is a Muslim" just for good measure.
So back to personal attacks, it is this exchange which is used as the example each time. Vaguely touching upon the actual story, but instead focusing on "sharing private messages without permission, and misquoting what was actually said". Strangely, although I am asked to provide the whole story or say nothing, as soon as I mention anti Islam comments, suddenly I am making another personal attack. Ignoring the fact that I have just been asked to quote.... Strange.
Now, a while back I rejoined the forum, new name, trying to keep things lower key, but still have an opinion. All was well until clever Mr Mod recognised the IP and suddenly everything I said was being negative, or having a personal dig (again!).
Since this time, things have gotten bad, I mean real bad. With myself and a number of other forum members being "identified" as trouble makers, and it would seem, been subject of a number of private discussions.
While it is fair to say that I will "poke the bear" from time to time, (stealing the expression from someone else I saw use it today), it is always with a little wink, and in no means is it personal. However, this is not how it is perceived. Instead warnings are sent, strongly worded PM's sent, and more often than not, a discussion begins, in which I am usually not allowed to participate, even though it is on a public forum. Topics will skew violently from the actual matter at hand, to the behaviour of certain forum members, expressing how the comments were made as personal attacks, and that enough warnings have been given.
The strange part about this is, a personal attack will be made, openly and violently, stating that Mr Mod believes the comments made originally were a personal attack on himself. Can you keep up with this? I am not sure even I am keeping up with myself here. It's all a bit too strange to explain, let alone comprehend from the outside.
The big issue here is quite simple. If a topic has a comment made on it, with which Mr Mod agrees, all is well. However, if he has shown an interest in it, and you DISagree, then you are stirring trouble, being personal and trying to derail the topic, and disrupt a meaningful discussion with your negativity. Apparently quoting someone, and "calling them out" on their comments, something Mr Mod does on a VERY regular basis, usually with very condescending overtones, you are a bully, and are trying to silence people. Oh the irony!
The biggest issue for me is this. I love the area I live in, and have lived here all my memorable life. Unlike some who are new to the area, welcome gentrification, and don't like people who do not share the same ideals. So to have someone like this start a forum, which has grown be become friendly, successful and a great tool for the area. Only for them to then start to preach their beliefs on it, and try and suggest those who disagree are bullies, is a real shame.
What has become apparent over recent weeks, is that there is a small group of users on the forum who too get the same treatment, snide little comments,strongly worded PM's and it would appear that there are suspicions of some sort of "plan" to cause the downfall of the forum. All very MI6 I must say. The levels of self importance really are at a whole new level. To think that grown adults would take the time to organise some sort of coup, to overthrow Mr Mod, and destroy a community forum we all helped build.
When having a rant about these plans, Mr Mod will regularly say how he will not stand by and watch others destroy what he and "the team" have created. Forgetting of course that I was once one of the "team" and contributed a lot of time and thought into the whole thing myself. Including starting some of the popular threads on the forum, which to this day are still active. However I don't think he has actually forgotten, more conveniently excludes these pieces of information when trying to belittle me and others. After all, these are the same threads which he desperately wants to keep on the forum, along with my other posts. As proven by the guilt trip comments when I first asked to be deleted from the forum.
What has become even more apparent is that I have no place on a shared platform with Mr Mod. Especially one owned, and governed by someone who I would describe as an egotistical megalomaniac. Only my opinion of course. Unable to differentiate between being a user and the owner of the forum, posts cross from being a user to a mod, to admin, to the OWNER of the forum on a regular basis. While berating others for "liking" posts which contain comments which are deemed personal attacks (not permitted by community guidelines), Mr Mod continues to cheer for any corner which sticks up for him, and openly "likes" the posts which are made in retaliation in his name.
With this in mind, and given the constant mental strain placed upon me by the ongoing bullshit that spews from Team Mod, I have decided it is time for me to leave the forum once and for all. A request will soon be made to SE23.life , asking that all my user data, including my public posts be removed with immediate effect. Not sure how GDPR backs me on this one, but I think regardless of law and legislation, it would be the decent and correct thing to do. Although I am sure this will meet some resistance along the way, and my name will be dragged through the mud.
I thought it would be nice, before of course I am banned for life from ever viewing the forum again, to share a few of the charming messages I have been sent. Rules and regulations I have been told I must abide by if I wish to be part of the community, and the consequences of not doing so. No paranoia or ego at work in this one.
My reply was
Obviously, I was wrong, I did't understand the reasons for these extra rules, so it was explained to me in detail.
A lot of the comments and "concerns" were based on a forum thread about a plan for a Domino's Pizza in Honor Oak, how very dare they, Honor Oak is a quaint village with no place for such common businesses, let alone a chain. With exception of course to Sainsburys, who are welcome. And heavens forbid a Waitrose were to open, well that would be the icing on the cake, a true sign of gentrification if there ever was one. But alas.....
The original thread re Domino's was here. Lots of negative NIMBY comments made, so I added some more positive comments, suggesting it was not all bad, and why should a business be chased away because it doesn't fit someones agenda.
https://se23.life/t/dominos-honor-oak-park/6855
Of course, once I had re-joined the forum, and openly commented supporting the plan, it was time for the shit to REALLY hit the fan. This is where it all became rather apparent that the rules of the forum, for some at least are , do as I say, not as I do.
A new section called Moderator Actions was opened, and a thread started, apparently about the Domino's thread, however it quickly became apparent that Mr Mod had other plans. A character assassination of his very own. Swiftly turning the topic away from Domino's , a series of accusations begun, and the onslaught begun. Post after post, calling me out on my comments, refusing to believe that they were just my own feelings, and instead somehow turning them into the "personal attack" he likes to refer to all the time. Have a look for yourself.
https://se23.life/t/intervention-on-second-dominos-topic/8648
I have a saved copy of the page, just in case it disappears, or posts are edited over and over as they usually are, removing offensive or threatening content. Just like the FB post.
I could go on like this for hours, of course this is only my side of the story, and I am sure Mr Mod has a fantastic tale to tell, quotes to share, and interpretations of comments made which will make your toes curl.
I will close on saying, SE23.life is a great concept, an invaluable tool to the community, and a fantastic way to socialise and get to know more about the area and its people. Sadly, as a growing number of people are starting to feel, the head honcho has issues. While the public persona is likeable and friendly, behind the scenes he is a paranoid, and rude individual, almost the textbook definition of a sociopath. While seemingly adored by some, the same cannot be said for others. Although present Mr Mod with this information, and you will be told that they are jealous, and are trying to damage his good standing in the community. Trying to undo all the good he has done, blah blah blah.
Every time someone speaks out against one of his beliefs, they suffer the wrath of his other personality. Most opting to just sit back, shut up, and do as they are told, in order to have some sort of input into the forum. With a growing list of displeased users, I can only hope that something changes soon, and the forum is allowed to breathe, and behave normally, without the constant nursing it currently has.
Since writing and publishing this blog entry I have received notification from Mr Mod stating the following.
At the time of writing the piece, I had had a number of fallings out with Mr Shaw, and I was part of a new beginning for a local forum for the area.
SE23.life was born, and the pissing contest begun. Most stones being thrown from .com at .life, and a few low blows along the way, with Wikipedia being edited, porn links being posted, and reports being made to the local authority for posting a few flyers up.
When I wrote the piece, Mr Mod was delighted, and felt the tone was fair and just, and raised topics which seemed to have gone under the radar for the majority. All is fair in love and war so they say.
However, as time has gone by, myself and Mr Mod have grown apart. Differences in opinions on religious and political matters to name just a couple of the subjects which have caused much debate. Sadly due to me confessing to mental health issues, and choosing to step back from the forum a number of times, first from Moderator, then as a user, I have for some reason been deemed unstable, and this has been to topic of many a personal snipe and attack on the forum ever since.
When I first stepped back, I was unhappy with comments being made about lower income families, and the proposed social cleansing of the area, with Mr Mod expressing that people who could not afford to pay their rent themselves should move to an area they can afford, and make space for those more affluent. For someone who has come from a low income family, and lived in the area all my life, that is a bitter pill to swallow.
When I finally decided to leave the forum once and for all, and felt my name had been dragged through the mud enough, I asked for my posts to be deleted. I was told this was technically possible, but was a lot of work, and did I really want to damage some well established threads by rendering them unreadable.
So my presence was now undesirable, but the conversations I had started when I was in favour, well they could stay. Trying not to rock the cart too much, I agreed to leave my posts be.
I have attempted to engage in various conversations on the forum since this time, but for some reason, Mr Mod sees any comments opposing his opinions as "personal attacks". In fact on a number of occasions, both via PM and more recently on a lesser read forum section, Mr Mod has taken it upon himself to claim to be the victim of personal attacks himself, all the while throwing stone after stone of accusation at my name. Usually in these cases, the right to reply has been removed by closing the discussion, only allowing people of certain forum privileges to be able to comment. Needless to say, these spats have gone on and on.
On the matter of personal attacks, the same topic arises time and time again, which is a conversation which was had on Facebook and Facebook Messenger regarding some activities by a group of Muslims during Eid. The story made the news, as heavy rain had washed the blood of morning sacrifices into the streets, and a photo showed the streets "running red with blood".
While happily discussing this with a friend on FB, Mr Mod added his opinions, and begun expressing his disgust at the event. Fair enough, it is not to everyones taste. However as the comments became stronger, I received a message from Mr Mod on FB Messenger , expressing his surprise and shock that I, as an owner of a few dogs, would make excuses for such a barbaric act, and telling me how medieval the behaviour of the Muslims featured in the story was.
As the conversation went on, in my opinion, it became apparent that Mr Mod has some deep seated issues with Islam, so I ended the conversation, and later blocked him from my FB.
Later posts on the forum from Mr Mod have time and time again brought into question his stance on Islam and Muslims. With links being posted to extremism stories, followed by a "disclaimer" saying that not all Muslims are bad, and most are fine. Might as well add "I have a friend who is a Muslim" just for good measure.
So back to personal attacks, it is this exchange which is used as the example each time. Vaguely touching upon the actual story, but instead focusing on "sharing private messages without permission, and misquoting what was actually said". Strangely, although I am asked to provide the whole story or say nothing, as soon as I mention anti Islam comments, suddenly I am making another personal attack. Ignoring the fact that I have just been asked to quote.... Strange.
Now, a while back I rejoined the forum, new name, trying to keep things lower key, but still have an opinion. All was well until clever Mr Mod recognised the IP and suddenly everything I said was being negative, or having a personal dig (again!).
Since this time, things have gotten bad, I mean real bad. With myself and a number of other forum members being "identified" as trouble makers, and it would seem, been subject of a number of private discussions.
While it is fair to say that I will "poke the bear" from time to time, (stealing the expression from someone else I saw use it today), it is always with a little wink, and in no means is it personal. However, this is not how it is perceived. Instead warnings are sent, strongly worded PM's sent, and more often than not, a discussion begins, in which I am usually not allowed to participate, even though it is on a public forum. Topics will skew violently from the actual matter at hand, to the behaviour of certain forum members, expressing how the comments were made as personal attacks, and that enough warnings have been given.
The strange part about this is, a personal attack will be made, openly and violently, stating that Mr Mod believes the comments made originally were a personal attack on himself. Can you keep up with this? I am not sure even I am keeping up with myself here. It's all a bit too strange to explain, let alone comprehend from the outside.
The big issue here is quite simple. If a topic has a comment made on it, with which Mr Mod agrees, all is well. However, if he has shown an interest in it, and you DISagree, then you are stirring trouble, being personal and trying to derail the topic, and disrupt a meaningful discussion with your negativity. Apparently quoting someone, and "calling them out" on their comments, something Mr Mod does on a VERY regular basis, usually with very condescending overtones, you are a bully, and are trying to silence people. Oh the irony!
The biggest issue for me is this. I love the area I live in, and have lived here all my memorable life. Unlike some who are new to the area, welcome gentrification, and don't like people who do not share the same ideals. So to have someone like this start a forum, which has grown be become friendly, successful and a great tool for the area. Only for them to then start to preach their beliefs on it, and try and suggest those who disagree are bullies, is a real shame.
What has become apparent over recent weeks, is that there is a small group of users on the forum who too get the same treatment, snide little comments,strongly worded PM's and it would appear that there are suspicions of some sort of "plan" to cause the downfall of the forum. All very MI6 I must say. The levels of self importance really are at a whole new level. To think that grown adults would take the time to organise some sort of coup, to overthrow Mr Mod, and destroy a community forum we all helped build.
When having a rant about these plans, Mr Mod will regularly say how he will not stand by and watch others destroy what he and "the team" have created. Forgetting of course that I was once one of the "team" and contributed a lot of time and thought into the whole thing myself. Including starting some of the popular threads on the forum, which to this day are still active. However I don't think he has actually forgotten, more conveniently excludes these pieces of information when trying to belittle me and others. After all, these are the same threads which he desperately wants to keep on the forum, along with my other posts. As proven by the guilt trip comments when I first asked to be deleted from the forum.
What has become even more apparent is that I have no place on a shared platform with Mr Mod. Especially one owned, and governed by someone who I would describe as an egotistical megalomaniac. Only my opinion of course. Unable to differentiate between being a user and the owner of the forum, posts cross from being a user to a mod, to admin, to the OWNER of the forum on a regular basis. While berating others for "liking" posts which contain comments which are deemed personal attacks (not permitted by community guidelines), Mr Mod continues to cheer for any corner which sticks up for him, and openly "likes" the posts which are made in retaliation in his name.
With this in mind, and given the constant mental strain placed upon me by the ongoing bullshit that spews from Team Mod, I have decided it is time for me to leave the forum once and for all. A request will soon be made to SE23.life , asking that all my user data, including my public posts be removed with immediate effect. Not sure how GDPR backs me on this one, but I think regardless of law and legislation, it would be the decent and correct thing to do. Although I am sure this will meet some resistance along the way, and my name will be dragged through the mud.
I thought it would be nice, before of course I am banned for life from ever viewing the forum again, to share a few of the charming messages I have been sent. Rules and regulations I have been told I must abide by if I wish to be part of the community, and the consequences of not doing so. No paranoia or ego at work in this one.
Michael,
The mod team is here to ensure that everyone gets an equal say on local issues.
We will moderate comments that do not follow the forum guidelines 1, and whilst we allow pseudonyms on SE23.life moderators will pay particular attention to posts from all unverified accounts due to the risks associated with sock puppetry.
Here are some points to bear in mind:
- If you’d like to get verified (for the second time), you will need to adopt your old account, @Snazy or rename your new account to @MichaelSnasdell. Our verification system is designed to avoid sock puppets.
- The forum has a right to know that two accounts belong to the same person when that person expresses opinions about local planning matters or businesses. Consider your future posts with this in mind.
- If you publicise private messages from other forum members to make points against them you will be instantly and permanently banned.
Please respect the guidelines and the positive and cooperative community that you helped build.
- If you choose to leave the forum for a fourth time, you will not announce it in the forum but instead you will privately message the moderators, and your account will be anonymised and deactivated.
Thanks,
SE23.life Team
My reply was
Well I have to say, with the hope of making a clean start and leave the whole past behind, the message seems very negative with the comments about leaving the forum for the forth time etc.
Totally up to you, although I would prefer if you were just as transparent as you wish me to be, and say if you would rather I not participate, rather than some the personal snipes above.
With regards to making my new account into my own name, this is not something which has been demanded of others by the looks of things, even with unverified accounts.
I am however of course more than happy to say openly who I am.
Like I say, your forum, your decision. If the above is not acceptable, then I guess it is decided.
Obviously, I was wrong, I did't understand the reasons for these extra rules, so it was explained to me in detail.
Hello Michael,
You may have misunderstood the first message. We will treat your @TheNewGuy account in the same fair way that we would any other known second account.
We value transparency on this forum. Next time you want to make a clean start we’d recommend you do so transparently rather than adopting an artificial persona.
Using a single account under a pseudonym is acceptable, though, as many others do.
However, bear in mind that we scrutinise all anonymous unverified accounts that choose to dominate topics on sensitive issues (e.g. planning), especially when those anon accounts repeatedly and forcefully state their opinion and cast negative aspersions on other members with different opinions:
- “All just seems a bit snobby the way people are going on.”
- “Not sure why people are getting so uptight about it. Why doesn’t one of you open a more appropriate shop if you know better?”
- “Maybe the area isn’t as good or attractive as some would like to believe.”
- “such a negative audience. Forums aren’t for everyone.”
- “a small group of people on a forum saying negative things”
- “stamping all over a new business venture because they use mopeds, and you don’t like their pizza.” [no other commenter said they didn’t like Domino’s pizza]
I hope you understand why this pattern of posting might be seen as problematic by any reasonable mod team.
- “I get it, people don’t want a Dominos on their pretty main road row of shops.”
The mod team is happy for you to return to the forum and contribute positively and respectfully.
We will reactivate your @Snazy account if you wish to use a verified account here. If you wish to remain anonymous and unverified, that is fine too. We will moderate your posts in the same even-handed way that we moderate other accounts.
If you wish to leave the forum again, we ask that you PM us and we will anonymise your posts.
Please respect the guidelines and the positive tone of the forum, where you are most welcome.
SE23.life Team
A lot of the comments and "concerns" were based on a forum thread about a plan for a Domino's Pizza in Honor Oak, how very dare they, Honor Oak is a quaint village with no place for such common businesses, let alone a chain. With exception of course to Sainsburys, who are welcome. And heavens forbid a Waitrose were to open, well that would be the icing on the cake, a true sign of gentrification if there ever was one. But alas.....
The original thread re Domino's was here. Lots of negative NIMBY comments made, so I added some more positive comments, suggesting it was not all bad, and why should a business be chased away because it doesn't fit someones agenda.
https://se23.life/t/dominos-honor-oak-park/6855
Of course, once I had re-joined the forum, and openly commented supporting the plan, it was time for the shit to REALLY hit the fan. This is where it all became rather apparent that the rules of the forum, for some at least are , do as I say, not as I do.
A new section called Moderator Actions was opened, and a thread started, apparently about the Domino's thread, however it quickly became apparent that Mr Mod had other plans. A character assassination of his very own. Swiftly turning the topic away from Domino's , a series of accusations begun, and the onslaught begun. Post after post, calling me out on my comments, refusing to believe that they were just my own feelings, and instead somehow turning them into the "personal attack" he likes to refer to all the time. Have a look for yourself.
https://se23.life/t/intervention-on-second-dominos-topic/8648
I have a saved copy of the page, just in case it disappears, or posts are edited over and over as they usually are, removing offensive or threatening content. Just like the FB post.
I could go on like this for hours, of course this is only my side of the story, and I am sure Mr Mod has a fantastic tale to tell, quotes to share, and interpretations of comments made which will make your toes curl.
I will close on saying, SE23.life is a great concept, an invaluable tool to the community, and a fantastic way to socialise and get to know more about the area and its people. Sadly, as a growing number of people are starting to feel, the head honcho has issues. While the public persona is likeable and friendly, behind the scenes he is a paranoid, and rude individual, almost the textbook definition of a sociopath. While seemingly adored by some, the same cannot be said for others. Although present Mr Mod with this information, and you will be told that they are jealous, and are trying to damage his good standing in the community. Trying to undo all the good he has done, blah blah blah.
Every time someone speaks out against one of his beliefs, they suffer the wrath of his other personality. Most opting to just sit back, shut up, and do as they are told, in order to have some sort of input into the forum. With a growing list of displeased users, I can only hope that something changes soon, and the forum is allowed to breathe, and behave normally, without the constant nursing it currently has.
Since writing and publishing this blog entry I have received notification from Mr Mod stating the following.
"it’s potted with lies. Lies intended to defame my character. I take defamation very seriously. Take down the post within an hour or I’ll raise this with the authorities."
I of course take such comments seriously, and am happy to address any specific comments made by myself which are deemed and proven as defamatory.
UPDATE.
Following a discussion with someone I respect very much, I have edited the post to remove the names. Please don't let this be confused with complying with any threats I have received.
UPDATE.
Following a discussion with someone I respect very much, I have edited the post to remove the names. Please don't let this be confused with complying with any threats I have received.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Every dog has its day...
Everything in life has a finite time span for being relevant. And when the day comes when it is no longer king of the hill there are two ways to go. Gracefully, or kicking and screaming.
For me, going out gracefully, and being remembered for your greatness and service is far more appealing that throwing tantrums and having to be removed by security. Remembered only for that last childish outburst.
Of course, the reasons for falling from the top are plentiful, so I suppose your actions are sometimes determined by what happened to bring it all about.
Imagine, spinning plates, putting on an amazing show and gathering a crowd to watch your amazing show. As the crowds gather, and the spotlight gets brighter, you lose concentration on the plates.
As the first one hits the floor, you turn in panic to react to the situation, frantically running back and forth trying to keep things going. One by one, they drop and smash, until finally you have managed to get 10% of them safely spinning again.
Turning back to your adorning crowd, unsurprisingly most are gone!
Looking to where they have gone, you see them across the way at a different attraction. Not plate spinning, but juggling. So you have two choices, keep your plates spinning, and protect what you have left. Keep the remaining audience happy. Or take your plates down, give up on your show, and start throwing them at the juggler and its audience, hoping to take them down as well as yourself. The old "if I can't have it, you can't have it" play.
Usually if you go with the latter, you tend to be remembered for your last actions, and not the shows before that.
By now you are probably wondering what the hell I am talking about, so let's cut the bullshit, and get to the crux of the matter.
When a local forum runs its course, and stops adapting to the changing population of the area it covers, and allows political and personal beliefs to drive how it is run, it can start to lose its following. Failure or refusal to allow certain topics or opinions to be aired can also lead to a very closed environment, and become unattractive to not only the current local residents and users, but also to the every growing new population.
So another one pops up, fresh and open minded. It starts to attract your current audience, and gathers pace rapidly. The two ways to approach it are a/ keep going, its no threat, its a different approach, or b/ go to war and throw everything you have at it, including your dignity.
Having been at the forefront of forums, from back in early 2000 until about 2006 running a very popular online community. Lots of people and opinions. Lots of random conversations turning into life changing matters. Friendships forged, leading to marriage and the birth of children. I think it's fair to say that it was quite challenging. But with the birth of Facebook, and the changing times, the day came when it was done. Allowing that to happen progressively, and folding at the right time meant I retained all the friendships I had made, and the whole venture is remembered fondly.
In this case, the local community is not following this model, and instead of being sensible about it, and rolling with things, the owner has decided war is the only way.
Now, let me be honest here. As the plates started falling, the right thing to do is salvage what you can, then start putting plates back on poles, newer more colourful ones, and attract the crowd back. If you want to fight hard, go for it, but show you have something worth fighting for. Don't start throwing plate fragments, hitting your old audience with them, and hope they will come back to see the same old show again.
Sadly, this is not the approach taken, and rather than going with a two pronged approach of promotion and revamping, a route of "destroy the other forum" has been taken.
Reporting of advertising to local authorities, sock puppet accounts on the new forum, trying to stir things up, only to run away and ask for it all to be removed again, constant changing of topic names on the old forum to mimic the new one, buying Google Adwords relating to the new one and pointing them at your own forum, buying domain names again hoping to snare people looking for the other one.
As someone recently said, "imitation is the greatest form of flattery" , and it IS ! So very true.
Sadly it doesn't end with imitation, and goes further to manipulation. Messing around with Wikipedia editing entries in your favour, deleting entries by the new forum, rewording entries to your own advantage. Lets get something straight, Wikipedia is NOT a playground, or somewhere childish battles should be fought. Now it is starting to get pathetic, and borderline personal.
So, Steve....
Where does all this end?
I know there is a strong revenue stream for you from your forum, somehow managing to bamboozle your advertisers into believing that the 40,000 visitors a month (85-90% of which are search bots I presume) and the 6,000 members (of which about 15 still use the forum, and 1,500 are probably sock puppet accounts of your own and others) somehow generate value for money. Surely anyone with any dignity and common sense can see that the interaction on the forum has dropped away to a borderline sustainable level now. But I suppose as long as you can keep prying money out of their hands, you feel like it is a worthwhile venture to keep going.
Sadly, it seems, that actually giving a toss about the local community and their needs is the bottom of the importance list now, if even still on it at all. If it were of any interest, I am sure the forum would have been upgraded over time, and offered more to its user than admin filtered PM's, personal vendettas with users occasionally blocking their account as you don't like what they said, and disappearing posts because they don't interest you, you don't agree with them, or simply don't like the person who posted it.... Without ever meeting them, that's the hilarious part.
When the new forum popped up, it was launched with the intention of filling a gap in the online resources of the local community. A friendly and social approach to get people working together with others in their community, and a fresh spin on an old idea. Getting people out from behind their screens, being real people not just a user name, and creating a happy and self supporting community for the SE23 area.
Not a threat, not a take-down, not a local coup, just something new. Plenty of space for both to co-exist, with the option along the way to work together or benefit from the growth.
What we have ended up with instead is a full on pissing contest. The old vs the new. Offended somehow that someone else would dare to offer the local community (in which they live) a breath of fresh air, and some new options. It is an evolving world where options are obligatory, and people expect to be giving a choice. So to somehow take offence that this would happen is a little small minded.
Surely if you felt that you had something real to offer SE23, you would make an honest and open stand. Come out from behind the "Admin" moniker , speak openly, have your say and show you care. Stand up for the cause you apparently believe in so much.
Rather than hiding behind fake forum accounts, sabotaging online references, and trying to trick people onto your forum by using pseudonyms similar to the new forum. All I see so far are cowardly sucker punches in the dark, which consist of damaging the name of an upstart, rather than justifying the continued use and following of what is quite frankly an old, tired forum which exists on fitting in with the online clique.
I hope that the stupid behaviour ends soon, and the people of SE23 can make a good, honest, well educated decision of which forum is right for them, and maybe even use both.
On a serious note, do things openly and in your own name. If you truly believe you are fighting for a good honest cause, do it with dignity, and show the community you are trying to convince you care, that you really do!
As for the advertisers...
PLEASE NOTE..
These are the sole opinions and comments of Michael Snasdell (real name, feel free to Google me) and not those of any other forum for the SE23 area, or anywhere else.
Any name calling is driven by my own opinions and interactions (online) with Steve Shaw and se23(dot)com
For me, going out gracefully, and being remembered for your greatness and service is far more appealing that throwing tantrums and having to be removed by security. Remembered only for that last childish outburst.
Of course, the reasons for falling from the top are plentiful, so I suppose your actions are sometimes determined by what happened to bring it all about.
Imagine, spinning plates, putting on an amazing show and gathering a crowd to watch your amazing show. As the crowds gather, and the spotlight gets brighter, you lose concentration on the plates.
As the first one hits the floor, you turn in panic to react to the situation, frantically running back and forth trying to keep things going. One by one, they drop and smash, until finally you have managed to get 10% of them safely spinning again.
Turning back to your adorning crowd, unsurprisingly most are gone!
Looking to where they have gone, you see them across the way at a different attraction. Not plate spinning, but juggling. So you have two choices, keep your plates spinning, and protect what you have left. Keep the remaining audience happy. Or take your plates down, give up on your show, and start throwing them at the juggler and its audience, hoping to take them down as well as yourself. The old "if I can't have it, you can't have it" play.
Usually if you go with the latter, you tend to be remembered for your last actions, and not the shows before that.
By now you are probably wondering what the hell I am talking about, so let's cut the bullshit, and get to the crux of the matter.
When a local forum runs its course, and stops adapting to the changing population of the area it covers, and allows political and personal beliefs to drive how it is run, it can start to lose its following. Failure or refusal to allow certain topics or opinions to be aired can also lead to a very closed environment, and become unattractive to not only the current local residents and users, but also to the every growing new population.
So another one pops up, fresh and open minded. It starts to attract your current audience, and gathers pace rapidly. The two ways to approach it are a/ keep going, its no threat, its a different approach, or b/ go to war and throw everything you have at it, including your dignity.
Having been at the forefront of forums, from back in early 2000 until about 2006 running a very popular online community. Lots of people and opinions. Lots of random conversations turning into life changing matters. Friendships forged, leading to marriage and the birth of children. I think it's fair to say that it was quite challenging. But with the birth of Facebook, and the changing times, the day came when it was done. Allowing that to happen progressively, and folding at the right time meant I retained all the friendships I had made, and the whole venture is remembered fondly.
In this case, the local community is not following this model, and instead of being sensible about it, and rolling with things, the owner has decided war is the only way.
Now, let me be honest here. As the plates started falling, the right thing to do is salvage what you can, then start putting plates back on poles, newer more colourful ones, and attract the crowd back. If you want to fight hard, go for it, but show you have something worth fighting for. Don't start throwing plate fragments, hitting your old audience with them, and hope they will come back to see the same old show again.
Sadly, this is not the approach taken, and rather than going with a two pronged approach of promotion and revamping, a route of "destroy the other forum" has been taken.
Reporting of advertising to local authorities, sock puppet accounts on the new forum, trying to stir things up, only to run away and ask for it all to be removed again, constant changing of topic names on the old forum to mimic the new one, buying Google Adwords relating to the new one and pointing them at your own forum, buying domain names again hoping to snare people looking for the other one.
As someone recently said, "imitation is the greatest form of flattery" , and it IS ! So very true.
Sadly it doesn't end with imitation, and goes further to manipulation. Messing around with Wikipedia editing entries in your favour, deleting entries by the new forum, rewording entries to your own advantage. Lets get something straight, Wikipedia is NOT a playground, or somewhere childish battles should be fought. Now it is starting to get pathetic, and borderline personal.
So, Steve....
Where does all this end?
I know there is a strong revenue stream for you from your forum, somehow managing to bamboozle your advertisers into believing that the 40,000 visitors a month (85-90% of which are search bots I presume) and the 6,000 members (of which about 15 still use the forum, and 1,500 are probably sock puppet accounts of your own and others) somehow generate value for money. Surely anyone with any dignity and common sense can see that the interaction on the forum has dropped away to a borderline sustainable level now. But I suppose as long as you can keep prying money out of their hands, you feel like it is a worthwhile venture to keep going.
Sadly, it seems, that actually giving a toss about the local community and their needs is the bottom of the importance list now, if even still on it at all. If it were of any interest, I am sure the forum would have been upgraded over time, and offered more to its user than admin filtered PM's, personal vendettas with users occasionally blocking their account as you don't like what they said, and disappearing posts because they don't interest you, you don't agree with them, or simply don't like the person who posted it.... Without ever meeting them, that's the hilarious part.
When the new forum popped up, it was launched with the intention of filling a gap in the online resources of the local community. A friendly and social approach to get people working together with others in their community, and a fresh spin on an old idea. Getting people out from behind their screens, being real people not just a user name, and creating a happy and self supporting community for the SE23 area.
Not a threat, not a take-down, not a local coup, just something new. Plenty of space for both to co-exist, with the option along the way to work together or benefit from the growth.
What we have ended up with instead is a full on pissing contest. The old vs the new. Offended somehow that someone else would dare to offer the local community (in which they live) a breath of fresh air, and some new options. It is an evolving world where options are obligatory, and people expect to be giving a choice. So to somehow take offence that this would happen is a little small minded.
Surely if you felt that you had something real to offer SE23, you would make an honest and open stand. Come out from behind the "Admin" moniker , speak openly, have your say and show you care. Stand up for the cause you apparently believe in so much.
Rather than hiding behind fake forum accounts, sabotaging online references, and trying to trick people onto your forum by using pseudonyms similar to the new forum. All I see so far are cowardly sucker punches in the dark, which consist of damaging the name of an upstart, rather than justifying the continued use and following of what is quite frankly an old, tired forum which exists on fitting in with the online clique.
I hope that the stupid behaviour ends soon, and the people of SE23 can make a good, honest, well educated decision of which forum is right for them, and maybe even use both.
On a serious note, do things openly and in your own name. If you truly believe you are fighting for a good honest cause, do it with dignity, and show the community you are trying to convince you care, that you really do!
As for the advertisers...
PLEASE NOTE..
These are the sole opinions and comments of Michael Snasdell (real name, feel free to Google me) and not those of any other forum for the SE23 area, or anywhere else.
Any name calling is driven by my own opinions and interactions (online) with Steve Shaw and se23(dot)com
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Profiling and pigeon holing....
Its something we are all guilty of to an extent, just part of human nature, and a sub concious part of our predator vs prey defence system. Regardless of if you are trying to make judgements or decision, or its just happening all on its own, your brain is constantly assessing people and things around you. Now, most of those results are very simple. Scanning for danger, threats, or warning signs around us. Its how we cross roads, drive cars, and even just walk down the street. They are quick, sub-concious decisions, made in less than the blink of an eye. Like the decision in a flow diagram, each response triggers an action and so on.
So all perfectly natural up until this point.
However, sometimes we allow our decision making process to become a very concious thing, and that's where it takes a turn, sometimes for the worst. When we profile a situation, say walking past a group outside a shop. The average person listens for raised voices, checking for anger and aggression, looks for body language, very visible arm and hand gestures, lots of jumping around, or calm... We make that decision very quickly and act accordingly. Some people however allow another influence in to their decision making process. Stereotypes and pigeon holing.
For these people, the answers to the first questions were all safe, calm, relaxed, no shouting... But hang on, what's their ethnic origin.. Once we know that then surely the decision rests on that and that alone. Are they from a nation stereotyped for thefts, violence, harassment? Well then clearly the situation is dangerous. Turn back before all hope is lost!
Statistics bare some of the blame for this, as well as negative reporting from all aspects of mainstream and social media. Each group claiming the other is to blame, each group stereotyped for certain behaviours. Just like all Chelsea and Millwall fans are mindless violent thugs, all Romanians are deemed thieves, or Nigerians are scammers. Its this kind of pigeon holing of groups in society, both official and public that cause most of today's problems. This isn't to say of course that there is NO truth in the statistics, of course there is. But how it is reported, and how it is interpreted by society is what really makes the difference.
If a headline read "20 black men detained in street brawl" certain groups in society would role their eyes and draw conclusions about how violent they are, and it must be a gang. If the sub headline then read. "100 armed white men descended on a Jamaican club this evening, starting a racially motivated attack. Police detained the victims in a police carrier for their safety" then some clarity would appear. However the choice of headline is what gets the ball rolling on how we perceive a story, and from that point on, we have already drawn a preliminary conclusion to the matter. Its all about getting the whole story, and not relying on a single line or statement to make our decisions on.
Sadly this darker side of profiling is present in all walks of society. Hatred and anger towards the armed forces, politicians, and the police. Obviously I am going to focus on the police here.
Now, starting with me experience of the police, something I can describe accurately and openly.
In trouble with the police in 1990 for the first time in my life, having encountered them on many occasions as a kid, just from being a little scallywag. In 1990 I did something wrong, and was dealt with for it. I was dealt with quite firmly, but maintained my respect for the police officers I was in communication with. Needless to say it was a different force back then. Mainly because people respected them. And not because they behaved differently as such, not because they were nicer people and fairer or anything. But because encountering the police in an official capacity meant you were busted, and there were no political correctness groups, hate groups, human rights groups or other 'its not fair' lobbyists telling them what you deserved.
One thing that has become SO very apparent over recent years is grading. And by that I mean of offences. Why is it every time someone is stopped or arrested for something, the line "do some real work, go catch some "insert here whatever crime the arrestee considers worse than theirs".Its a funny old world, where the criminal of whatever degree now has a say in what's right and wrong. Well if their feelings on right and wrong are so strong now... What happened during the offence?
In later years of my life I have experienced the changes in how the force works. From the difference in stance needed when making a simple traffic stop, to the paper mountain that now consumes the police. Most of which is necessary because of the onslaught of do gooders and PC activists who think they know best.
Example. Years ago I was stopped in Epsom, late at night, driving a modified car. Friendly stop, and soon became apparent that the motive for the stop was to ask questions about the car, as one of the officers was about to buy one. After a long chat, the officer in question apologised and said he was going to have to issue me a producer as there was a record of the stop, so all the boxes needed ticking. As he wrote it he continued to apologise, and we joked about how things had changed and they were not even able to stop me for a chat without paperwork.
It fair to say that not all encounters are as smooth, and I recall another stop, in the same car in Victoria. Again late at night, a car on blues wove its way through the one way system, came in behind me, flashed once, I indicated and slowed looking for a safe place to stop. This was followed by frantic headlight flashing, so I stopped immediately, sadly on zig-zags. The officer raced from the car, greeted me as I exited my car, and opened with "well that's a stupid place to stop". I responded by questioning his decision to become over excited with his headlights at this exact point, and offered to move the car a little further to a safer location and was told "don't bother, you are stopped now!"
So, its not all positive I have to say.
So lets go back to the beginning, profiling, snap decisions, and our reactions.
Many believe that officers of all nationalities and races have issues with the black community, and have no tolerance towards them. Fairness goes out of the window, and all are met with aggression and harsh treatment.
Having worked on housing estates for many years in an official capacity, I have seen many such encounters start, around the Notting Hill area, it was not uncommon for the police to sweep into an estate in the evening and do stop and searches. ANY group not making a fuss was dealt with quickly, as informally as possible, and with a happy ending (unless of course anything was found). However other groups who displayed frustration or anger, were indeed met with hostility and a very different approach. From the EXACT same group of officers who had just stopped the last group.
It goes back to pigeon holes and profiling. Groups of society learn from others, from past generations, we are taught what each group is, and somehow allow ourselves to be drawn into the mind of the hive. Reacting towards our first encounter with a group, with the lessons we were taught about them. If you grow up in a group or area with bad experiences, or just bad feeling towards another, it is going to be hard to shake those teachings. When the real encounter is made, we revert to instinct and behave accordingly.
When groups of people with historic bad experiences meet, a chain reaction begins. And as it continues, it snowballs, creating more memories and generating more bad blood. Somewhere along the line someone , somehow needs to stop the perpetuation of this. But the end is nowhere in sight.
So, to add to our pigeon holing exercise, all police are mindless thugs! A statement some would happily endorse. The media happily gloats at the continuation of bad feeling between social groups and the police, but like the headline, only tells you the information which will insight bad feeling, perpetuate the story, and give them a great story.
For the record I do NOT believe, nor endorse the above statements of pigeon holes. I feel that each member of society is an individual and starts out deserving respect and consideration of others. I do however believe also that our actions have consequences. Sometimes severe ones, and ones some find unfair and harsh. In this day and age I consider myself law abiding, and a decent member of society. I don't walk by on the other side, nor turn a blind eye. I expect all encounters with the police to be civil, unless I have behaved otherwise.
My final example, Sydenham High Street a few months back. Following a large brawl which I was not aware of at the time, the high street was shut. This had followed a big road traffic accident. Being nosey I made my way up the road to see, on crossing the road I was beeped by a bus who had decided to move off. Angered by his sudden action, and shocked due to being unable to move fast at the time due to ill health, I shouted at the driver. He stopped a few yards later and I made my way to the door to express my anger and frustration. I was greeted very quickly by two pumped up officers, telling me to back up, leave it, and giving me a good talking to. Now further angered and frustrated, I bowed my way from the situation and took to Twitter with some strong words.
Later than night I became aware of the mass brawl earlier, and realised that my actions followed those of the others, and in behaving in the same unruly manner, I had provoked, what I considered at the time, an over board reaction. Realising I was thoroughly in the wrong to have given the officers a hard time, I wrote a formal apology to Lewisham Police. Had I NOT toned down my anger at the time of the incident, I would have expected to have been strong armed to the ground, cuffed and led away. Thankfully having some respect for the officers, and indeed having been greeted in such a high energy manner, the situation calmed very quickly.
Sometimes the strong armed approach is the right approach, other times the gentle approach works better. What you have to consider here is, its training, drilled into the officers, self preservation kicks in and they will react to what they are confronted with. Batoning an 11 year old shoplifter would be excessive. But then believing you have a right to punch, kick, and bite an officer while they try and cuff you, is also very wrong.
Not all officers get it right, a tiny minority allow society to form negative opinions about them. The same way as the minorities in all walks of society create bad statistics and bad feelings about the majority of their groups. Two wrongs don't make a right, but put two groups together which are immediately defensive, and its a recipe for disaster, over and over again.
Then hype these encounters enough, make it seem like its the right thing, and society will believe you and the hatred and anger perpetuates.
This blog was written based on a sweeping statement made by someone, in this case towards and about the police. Using language which would be deemed offensive and inappropriate towards ANY minority group in society. Written media is a powerful and dangerous force. Just as this blog can be too. The written word is only as good as the choices the word-smith makes, and indeed the perception and interpretation of the reader. With no form of immediate discussion, its as simple as the black and white its written in.
There is no one group in society, official or public responsible for the world we live in, we have all played a part somewhere. Anyone who thinks otherwise, I simply disagree.
I could go on forever with this entry, but will end with the following.
Never judge a book by its cover. Colour , nationality, and background tell you nothing about what is inside. Take a second look, take a moment to think rationally, and give EVERYONE an equal chance. Everyone deserves one.
So all perfectly natural up until this point.
However, sometimes we allow our decision making process to become a very concious thing, and that's where it takes a turn, sometimes for the worst. When we profile a situation, say walking past a group outside a shop. The average person listens for raised voices, checking for anger and aggression, looks for body language, very visible arm and hand gestures, lots of jumping around, or calm... We make that decision very quickly and act accordingly. Some people however allow another influence in to their decision making process. Stereotypes and pigeon holing.
For these people, the answers to the first questions were all safe, calm, relaxed, no shouting... But hang on, what's their ethnic origin.. Once we know that then surely the decision rests on that and that alone. Are they from a nation stereotyped for thefts, violence, harassment? Well then clearly the situation is dangerous. Turn back before all hope is lost!
Statistics bare some of the blame for this, as well as negative reporting from all aspects of mainstream and social media. Each group claiming the other is to blame, each group stereotyped for certain behaviours. Just like all Chelsea and Millwall fans are mindless violent thugs, all Romanians are deemed thieves, or Nigerians are scammers. Its this kind of pigeon holing of groups in society, both official and public that cause most of today's problems. This isn't to say of course that there is NO truth in the statistics, of course there is. But how it is reported, and how it is interpreted by society is what really makes the difference.
If a headline read "20 black men detained in street brawl" certain groups in society would role their eyes and draw conclusions about how violent they are, and it must be a gang. If the sub headline then read. "100 armed white men descended on a Jamaican club this evening, starting a racially motivated attack. Police detained the victims in a police carrier for their safety" then some clarity would appear. However the choice of headline is what gets the ball rolling on how we perceive a story, and from that point on, we have already drawn a preliminary conclusion to the matter. Its all about getting the whole story, and not relying on a single line or statement to make our decisions on.
Sadly this darker side of profiling is present in all walks of society. Hatred and anger towards the armed forces, politicians, and the police. Obviously I am going to focus on the police here.
Now, starting with me experience of the police, something I can describe accurately and openly.
In trouble with the police in 1990 for the first time in my life, having encountered them on many occasions as a kid, just from being a little scallywag. In 1990 I did something wrong, and was dealt with for it. I was dealt with quite firmly, but maintained my respect for the police officers I was in communication with. Needless to say it was a different force back then. Mainly because people respected them. And not because they behaved differently as such, not because they were nicer people and fairer or anything. But because encountering the police in an official capacity meant you were busted, and there were no political correctness groups, hate groups, human rights groups or other 'its not fair' lobbyists telling them what you deserved.
One thing that has become SO very apparent over recent years is grading. And by that I mean of offences. Why is it every time someone is stopped or arrested for something, the line "do some real work, go catch some "insert here whatever crime the arrestee considers worse than theirs".Its a funny old world, where the criminal of whatever degree now has a say in what's right and wrong. Well if their feelings on right and wrong are so strong now... What happened during the offence?
In later years of my life I have experienced the changes in how the force works. From the difference in stance needed when making a simple traffic stop, to the paper mountain that now consumes the police. Most of which is necessary because of the onslaught of do gooders and PC activists who think they know best.
Example. Years ago I was stopped in Epsom, late at night, driving a modified car. Friendly stop, and soon became apparent that the motive for the stop was to ask questions about the car, as one of the officers was about to buy one. After a long chat, the officer in question apologised and said he was going to have to issue me a producer as there was a record of the stop, so all the boxes needed ticking. As he wrote it he continued to apologise, and we joked about how things had changed and they were not even able to stop me for a chat without paperwork.
It fair to say that not all encounters are as smooth, and I recall another stop, in the same car in Victoria. Again late at night, a car on blues wove its way through the one way system, came in behind me, flashed once, I indicated and slowed looking for a safe place to stop. This was followed by frantic headlight flashing, so I stopped immediately, sadly on zig-zags. The officer raced from the car, greeted me as I exited my car, and opened with "well that's a stupid place to stop". I responded by questioning his decision to become over excited with his headlights at this exact point, and offered to move the car a little further to a safer location and was told "don't bother, you are stopped now!"
So, its not all positive I have to say.
So lets go back to the beginning, profiling, snap decisions, and our reactions.
Many believe that officers of all nationalities and races have issues with the black community, and have no tolerance towards them. Fairness goes out of the window, and all are met with aggression and harsh treatment.
Having worked on housing estates for many years in an official capacity, I have seen many such encounters start, around the Notting Hill area, it was not uncommon for the police to sweep into an estate in the evening and do stop and searches. ANY group not making a fuss was dealt with quickly, as informally as possible, and with a happy ending (unless of course anything was found). However other groups who displayed frustration or anger, were indeed met with hostility and a very different approach. From the EXACT same group of officers who had just stopped the last group.
It goes back to pigeon holes and profiling. Groups of society learn from others, from past generations, we are taught what each group is, and somehow allow ourselves to be drawn into the mind of the hive. Reacting towards our first encounter with a group, with the lessons we were taught about them. If you grow up in a group or area with bad experiences, or just bad feeling towards another, it is going to be hard to shake those teachings. When the real encounter is made, we revert to instinct and behave accordingly.
When groups of people with historic bad experiences meet, a chain reaction begins. And as it continues, it snowballs, creating more memories and generating more bad blood. Somewhere along the line someone , somehow needs to stop the perpetuation of this. But the end is nowhere in sight.
So, to add to our pigeon holing exercise, all police are mindless thugs! A statement some would happily endorse. The media happily gloats at the continuation of bad feeling between social groups and the police, but like the headline, only tells you the information which will insight bad feeling, perpetuate the story, and give them a great story.
For the record I do NOT believe, nor endorse the above statements of pigeon holes. I feel that each member of society is an individual and starts out deserving respect and consideration of others. I do however believe also that our actions have consequences. Sometimes severe ones, and ones some find unfair and harsh. In this day and age I consider myself law abiding, and a decent member of society. I don't walk by on the other side, nor turn a blind eye. I expect all encounters with the police to be civil, unless I have behaved otherwise.
My final example, Sydenham High Street a few months back. Following a large brawl which I was not aware of at the time, the high street was shut. This had followed a big road traffic accident. Being nosey I made my way up the road to see, on crossing the road I was beeped by a bus who had decided to move off. Angered by his sudden action, and shocked due to being unable to move fast at the time due to ill health, I shouted at the driver. He stopped a few yards later and I made my way to the door to express my anger and frustration. I was greeted very quickly by two pumped up officers, telling me to back up, leave it, and giving me a good talking to. Now further angered and frustrated, I bowed my way from the situation and took to Twitter with some strong words.
Later than night I became aware of the mass brawl earlier, and realised that my actions followed those of the others, and in behaving in the same unruly manner, I had provoked, what I considered at the time, an over board reaction. Realising I was thoroughly in the wrong to have given the officers a hard time, I wrote a formal apology to Lewisham Police. Had I NOT toned down my anger at the time of the incident, I would have expected to have been strong armed to the ground, cuffed and led away. Thankfully having some respect for the officers, and indeed having been greeted in such a high energy manner, the situation calmed very quickly.
Sometimes the strong armed approach is the right approach, other times the gentle approach works better. What you have to consider here is, its training, drilled into the officers, self preservation kicks in and they will react to what they are confronted with. Batoning an 11 year old shoplifter would be excessive. But then believing you have a right to punch, kick, and bite an officer while they try and cuff you, is also very wrong.
Not all officers get it right, a tiny minority allow society to form negative opinions about them. The same way as the minorities in all walks of society create bad statistics and bad feelings about the majority of their groups. Two wrongs don't make a right, but put two groups together which are immediately defensive, and its a recipe for disaster, over and over again.
Then hype these encounters enough, make it seem like its the right thing, and society will believe you and the hatred and anger perpetuates.
This blog was written based on a sweeping statement made by someone, in this case towards and about the police. Using language which would be deemed offensive and inappropriate towards ANY minority group in society. Written media is a powerful and dangerous force. Just as this blog can be too. The written word is only as good as the choices the word-smith makes, and indeed the perception and interpretation of the reader. With no form of immediate discussion, its as simple as the black and white its written in.
There is no one group in society, official or public responsible for the world we live in, we have all played a part somewhere. Anyone who thinks otherwise, I simply disagree.
I could go on forever with this entry, but will end with the following.
Never judge a book by its cover. Colour , nationality, and background tell you nothing about what is inside. Take a second look, take a moment to think rationally, and give EVERYONE an equal chance. Everyone deserves one.
Friday, January 3, 2014
How the other half live!
A phrase I am sure many have used at some point, and with general reference to those further up the economic and social ladder to oneself. However I was to take a different approach to this age old phrase for a moment, and open your eyes (and mind) a little.
First up I want to say, this is not an egotistical ramble, nor a hunt for praise or recognition. But a genuine heartfelt appeal to others to stop for a moment and think.
A week or so ago a post was made on a community forum I frequent, SE23.com. It was asking for help with a minibus run, a driver to be precise, for an event being organised at a local church hall. From what I understood, the bus trip had been successfully done a couple of times already for Xmas and Boxing day events, but needed a driver for the final New Years Day event.
As I am far from excited about the whole Xmas and New Years thing, and never plan anything, I decided I would put myself forwards for the role. I like driving, know the area, and enjoy a challenge. At this point, I knew nothing else about the job, nor anyone else involved in the event. A few emails later, and names like Alice, Tommo and Rob (CellarDoor) were becoming common place in conversations and emails.
Finally faces were seen, and I met up with Tommo at St Hilda's Church hall in Brockley. Immediately in the mix of things, I found myself loading up the minibus that I would be driving the following week, and helping transfer everything to St Saviours Church Hall where the next event would be held. Meeting Peter and Sue in the process, these were my predecessors and had done the bus run on the past 2 days. A quick handover of the list, then off to meet the next people.
Parking the bus at Alice and Alan's house, I met the couple for the first time. Mental and social overload for me already by this point meeting 5 new people in one day.
Over the next couple of days, once it had become apparent that the bus run could not be done alone, I got in touch with Rob aka CellarDoor, and we begun to arrange how we would plan the logistics for the day. Finally agreeing to meet up, take a look at the minibus, and work things out, Alice and Alan were kind enough to play unsuspecting hosts to what turned out to be the first annual convention of some sort. My apologies again for keeping you both for so long, but Baxter is simply too adorable to be separated from without force.
Rather than dribbling on about me me me I shall fast forward a few more days to New Years Day. Agreeing to get to the hall for about 7.30 on the day was maybe a decision that I made in haste, however it was a good choice in the end. Having roped my niece and nephew into helping at short notice, I picked them up bright and early, and we went to the hall. On walking in, we got straight into potato peeling and Calum (nephew) got started putting the tables out. Rob arrived a little while after, and again got stuck into the spuds with myself and Daryl, leaving Tommo to get on with other things too. Time flies when you have 10kg+ of potatoes to peel, and before we knew it, it was time to get the run started.
All at short notice, a little more help arrived with the driving, in the shape of Elisabeth, Liz or Lizzy depending on who was speaking to her at the time (all one person, and I thought I struggled with Michael or Snazy) and EJ was also on hand to drive. Just before heading out Rob also agreed to drive, so Calum was left helping me on the bus.
Now this is where 'them and us' really starts. All I knew was, we had a list of names and addresses. These were people invited along to the event, and they would come from various social groups, from elderly to isolated. Little did I realise at the time, but I in fact isolate myself to some degree, and as time passed on the day I would realise it more. Calum also is quite an introvert, so this would be a challenge for him also, but a good exercise in operating outside your comfort zone.
Picking the first few people up, it was a great start with some chatty elderly ladies, delightful in conversation, and immediately I began to feel at ease, and slipped into relaxed conversation. With each stop, a different social aspect was added to the group, and soon I started to realise that we are not all the same. In fact in such a small minibus, we were already putting together one of the most diverse groups of social soup I have ever been a part of. But rather than an awkward silence as you see in most confident social groups, when you add an unknown quantity, this group adapted, making the new piece fit, and rearranging itself to accommodate the change.
For a group if people, most who didn't know one another, some who were quite clearly not used to interacting with a group of this size, and in such close quarters, it was amazing to see how such a complex and diverse group of people could just adapt to a constantly changing situation. I have to add that it was also a pleasure to be an ingredient in this social soup as I call it.
By the end of the minibus runs, once the whole group was assembled in the hall for the days events, it was even more intriguing to see how the dynamic continued to change, and evolve. Sub groups developing, people finding their comfort zones, but mostly maintaining conversation. All helped along by another amazing group. The volunteers.
It is an honour to include myself in this group, and I was dumbstruck by how strong minded, and focused each volunteer was. Each with their own individual skill, somehow the people who had put themselves forward to help on this day came together as a faultless and capable crew, who together could achieve all tasks thrown at them. Serving, decorating, clearing, conversing, entertaining, assisting, you name it, it was going on.
As the day drew to an end, and as the guests were slowly dropped back off home, I realised that I had been a part of a fantastic, amazing, and revealing day. I know for a fact that Calum and Daryl both benefited in some way from the day. The social interactions, the challenges, and the insight into how others live their lives. For me also, the chance to socialise and interact with social groups that I would not usually have reason to. I think I learned more about myself in the past few days, than I have in a long time, and hope others came away with the same.
When I said at the start 'how the other half live' What I in fact meant was, we all THINK we understand the person on the bus who won't make eye contact, or the person in the shop queue who just wants to strike up a conversation. We guess they are a little bit different to us, and for that reason, stay comfortable, don't engage in conversation, and play it safe. But maybe if we exercised our minds a little from time to time, stretched our boundaries and gave a little of our precious time more often, we would not only do something positive for someone, but also learn something new each time we dare to dive right in.
Life isn't about playing the hero, or being a saint. But it's also not meant to be about just yourself, or being the best of everyone. Its about being a part of society as a whole, playing a role, and doing the right thing.
In the past week, I have truly expanded my horizons, reached WAY outside my comfort zone, and reconnected with the person inside me that wants to be there for others whenever I can.
So thank you sincerely to everyone I have met, socialised with, and interacted with in the last week. Thank you for the awakening from within that I so badly needed. What a fantastic way to start a new year.
So.... next time you look up the food chain and think to yourself, 'it's alright for some', just remember, it's pretty tough for many more people other than yourself. Sure there is always someone better off, but I guarantee there are 10 more who are worse off for ever one that is better off.
Thank you for reading :)
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Fantastic New Years Day
For some, the night before is about getting blind drunk, over indulging, and 'celebrating' a little too much. For others its a quiet night in and just another day in the morning. For others however its another day of loneliness, and isolation.
Being anyone who falls into the category of vulnerable in this day and age is not easy, especially in the hustle and bustle of a city. Over looked, forgotten, and brushed aside by a society which has become too busy and self involved to take a moment to lend a hand.
So this New Years Day, a large group of volunteers in the SE23 area got together to assist a wonderful man Tommo, who has been organising a lunch and fun afternoon for such groups over Xmas and NY for over a decade now. Following a post for help on the local SE23.com forum by Alice, a whole host of people jumped on board to help out with the last of the 3 days. Some however had helped the whole time, so hats off to those people.
A minibus would collect groups of people from the surrounding area, and the interactions with one another would begin. I ran the minibus with my nephew Calum, who for a young shy lad did a great job knocking on doors, and helping people to and from the bus. A great exercise for overcoming the shyness he suffers from. As each new character joined the bus, the mood changed up a gear, excitement, general conversation, and some wonderful interactions.
On arriving back at the hall after the first trip, the volunteers had done an amazing job starting to set the place up, and by the end of the last trip, the place was transformed in both image and energy. (as you can see)
By the early afternoon the logistics planning of getting everyone home again, but without making them feel rushed or left out was underway. Talking to people about what time they wanted to leave, while they were trying to concentrate on a game of bingo was not the easiest task. However, along with many other tasks, like phoning ahead to let people know we were on our way to pick them up, Daryl, my niece, took to it like a duck to water, and got the job done.
By the end of the day, after a few misunderstandings, a few unplanned diversions, and a whole lot of fun, all the guests were safely dropped back home, the minibus returned to Sidcup, the keys back to Swanley, and the final curtain fell.
This morning, we got the rest of the clearing up done, all the cooking equipment, food, and decorations back to their home, and the hall was like new again.
So I want to sum up by saying this:
Thank you to everyone who volunteered time, goods, or just a little effort to the whole event. I only did the one day, and have huge respect for those who did all three. I only found out about all this at the last moment, and seeing the way Forest Hill and its people pulled together to help on the day was quite touching. So if you are local, or were drafted in, like helicopter crazy Ali :) Thank you all for answering the call.
The call, which came from Alice, who took on a huge task so soon after having her first beautiful little baby. Awww. Looking after a newborn is quite a task in itself, but to have managed to coordinate all this too was really quite amazing. So thank you Alice for bringing us all together, putting us all in touch, and especially for the hospitality and patience having myself and Rob (CellarDoor) over to start getting sorted.
A special thank you to Calum and Daryl, who for my end of the job played a HUGE role in the day, and made things work as clockwork as they possibly could. It was a great experience for you both, as well as a heck of a long day, so well done, you both did a brilliant job, and I really could not have done it without you.
Events like this not only make you realise how fortunate you are, but also how important you are, and what a difference a small gesture or bit of time can make to someone else's life.
So here's to the next time we are all able to do something as amazing as this, I hope opportunity comes knocking soon. Tommo, you are a great guy for making things like this happen :)
Being anyone who falls into the category of vulnerable in this day and age is not easy, especially in the hustle and bustle of a city. Over looked, forgotten, and brushed aside by a society which has become too busy and self involved to take a moment to lend a hand.
So this New Years Day, a large group of volunteers in the SE23 area got together to assist a wonderful man Tommo, who has been organising a lunch and fun afternoon for such groups over Xmas and NY for over a decade now. Following a post for help on the local SE23.com forum by Alice, a whole host of people jumped on board to help out with the last of the 3 days. Some however had helped the whole time, so hats off to those people.
A minibus would collect groups of people from the surrounding area, and the interactions with one another would begin. I ran the minibus with my nephew Calum, who for a young shy lad did a great job knocking on doors, and helping people to and from the bus. A great exercise for overcoming the shyness he suffers from. As each new character joined the bus, the mood changed up a gear, excitement, general conversation, and some wonderful interactions.
On arriving back at the hall after the first trip, the volunteers had done an amazing job starting to set the place up, and by the end of the last trip, the place was transformed in both image and energy. (as you can see)
By the early afternoon the logistics planning of getting everyone home again, but without making them feel rushed or left out was underway. Talking to people about what time they wanted to leave, while they were trying to concentrate on a game of bingo was not the easiest task. However, along with many other tasks, like phoning ahead to let people know we were on our way to pick them up, Daryl, my niece, took to it like a duck to water, and got the job done.
By the end of the day, after a few misunderstandings, a few unplanned diversions, and a whole lot of fun, all the guests were safely dropped back home, the minibus returned to Sidcup, the keys back to Swanley, and the final curtain fell.
This morning, we got the rest of the clearing up done, all the cooking equipment, food, and decorations back to their home, and the hall was like new again.
So I want to sum up by saying this:
Thank you to everyone who volunteered time, goods, or just a little effort to the whole event. I only did the one day, and have huge respect for those who did all three. I only found out about all this at the last moment, and seeing the way Forest Hill and its people pulled together to help on the day was quite touching. So if you are local, or were drafted in, like helicopter crazy Ali :) Thank you all for answering the call.
The call, which came from Alice, who took on a huge task so soon after having her first beautiful little baby. Awww. Looking after a newborn is quite a task in itself, but to have managed to coordinate all this too was really quite amazing. So thank you Alice for bringing us all together, putting us all in touch, and especially for the hospitality and patience having myself and Rob (CellarDoor) over to start getting sorted.
A special thank you to Calum and Daryl, who for my end of the job played a HUGE role in the day, and made things work as clockwork as they possibly could. It was a great experience for you both, as well as a heck of a long day, so well done, you both did a brilliant job, and I really could not have done it without you.
Events like this not only make you realise how fortunate you are, but also how important you are, and what a difference a small gesture or bit of time can make to someone else's life.
So here's to the next time we are all able to do something as amazing as this, I hope opportunity comes knocking soon. Tommo, you are a great guy for making things like this happen :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)