Sunday, November 19, 2023

How are you?

Thought it was about time I posted something on this blog. It's been forever.
So I thought I would as, "how are you?" 
In our busy lives we only manage to touch base a with a small handful of people day to day. Now matter how hard we try, we never manage to speak with everyone we care about, and I don't know about you, but it makes me feel bad at times.

Sometimes by the time you realise someone you care about is struggling or needs that chat, it can be too late, and they can already be fighting to keep their head above the water. 

I have done a post like this in the past I know, but as the darker evenings and shorter days draw in, I wanted to repeat myself and reiterate my message. I'm here and happy to chat. Of course that comes with caveats, and hopefully anyone who knows me well enough to want to talk to me and open up, knows what they are too.

Recently I have been reminded that so many people live their lives with the appearance of a duck on water.... Above the surface, the public persona, all is beautiful and well. While under the surface they are struggling to stay afloat. Dealing with all sorts of dramas and dilemmas, but because no-one can see the struggle, there is no lifeline, no help, no conversation. And for the sake of saving face, even when the question is asked "are you OK", the stiff upper lip appears and you lie through your teeth. 

So.... How are you? 
If you are not great, let's talk. If you are great, that's great, I still care. 

If you know me, please never feel uncomfortable speaking openly. The worst that can happen is I write a blog about it and publish it to the world lol. 

Thursday, August 31, 2023

A day in the health care system.

Didn't see this coming, and to be honest had never known what they do in here until today.
I have felt occasionally and rapidly short of breath for the past few weeks now. Since getting back from Florida I have felt lethargic and every now and then just can't breath. Like there is pressure on my neck and chest. Inhalers don't work. 
It can last from a few seconds to a few mins at a time, yet I am pretty much able to train as normal. Unless of course a wave hits me in the moment. 

I called my GP this morning to see if I could get an appointment, got through just after 8am.
Received the triage texts shortly after that. 
Around 10am I got a call from the surgery saying the GP would call between 11 and 12.
About 15 mins later I got a text from the GP saying she wanted to see me in the next 90 mins of possible. 

I 'hurried' to the surgery and saw the doctor after a short wait. Thankfully it was a GP I have a history with, so she listened while I explained. The confusion grew as I described what was happening with me. After a few checks and asking me if I thought there was anything it might be, she said she wanted to get something checked. 

It seemed like because I had flown recently, and because I had been in contact with someone who tested positive for Covid, she wanted to be sure it was not DVT or PE. She then made a call to Lewisham Hospital to get some advice, and after five mins of chatting, came off the phone and asked me to go straight to Ambulatory Care at Lewisham Hospital. They would run some tests to rule out Pulmonary Embolism as a diagnosis. 

So here I sit now. 
Having only ever seen signs for it before, and having no idea what it was, I have since found out that it is an all in one department that runs a barrage of tests, gets all the results back in the same day. Rapid diagnosis you might call it. 

So far within 30 mins of getting here I have had AN ECG, blood pressure test, temp, SATS, and finally bloods. The bloods have been sent off and as I write this, I am waiting on the results. Just to be clear, I'm in no rush to get them, I am massively thankful for their care here today.

The wait time is approx two hours so I am told, which is fine with me. 

In the meantime a barrage of messages have been sent by me to loved ones and work, making sure everyone is in the loop. 

First world problems time.. 
My phone battery is at 29%, not helped by me writing this..
I'm a little hungry now and that leads to a bit of a nauseating feeling.
And I would love a drink right now. 
All that said, all is well, I feel OK other than a shortage of breath occasionally.

Oh and I read my GP notes, and saw "Dyspnoea" definition.. " awareness of the sensation of shortness of breath. It may be pathological, psychological or social in origin."

I shall add to this post as and when I get my results. I am expecting to be told I am good to go. But if that is NOT the case, the next step is xray and scans.

Oh and side note, when taking my SATS the nurse kept asking me to breathe deep..... Deeper..... DEEPER.. before saying "that's fine." So I am going to assume they were low lol

In the end the bloods took about three and a half hours to come back. In which time I was moved to a comfier seat in a booth, which was a nice touch. 
In the meantime a consultant came to see me to get some back story and try and work out what was going on. We chatted for about 10 mins, talking health history, recent travel, changes in health recently etc. 

The outcome " quite unremarkable". Said with a smile, and reassuring tone, he said with all the info he already had, he was quite sure that there was nothing drastic going on, but obviously something was happening or I would not be there. 

All my bloods were back with exception to the one he wanted, the D-dimer for micro clots or PE. In the meantime, to cover all bases he sent me for an x-ray. With a parting explanation that the xray would just confirm whatever the bloods were saying. 
There would be two outcomes. 
1/ D-dimer registered something, in which case start treatment. 
2/ D-dimer clear, so would want to run a 24hr at home ECG, to check for arrhythmia which MIGHT... at a stretch cause short spells of breathlessness. Unlikely but only right to rule out. 

10 mins later, x-ray done, results came back, all clear. D-dimer came back registering absolutely nothing, so all clear for PE. Big stuff out of the way, that was a relief. 

So next I will be contacted by cardiology for an appointment to go and get the ECG fitted, then removed the next day. And in the meantime, I am to follow up with my GP for further investigations and explore other routes to treat. 

The breathlessness continues as sporadically as it always has. I have returned to using my new inhaler, and am pleased to report I slept a little better last night. 

So watch this space, who knows what it is, but the thing I do know for sure is it's frickin annoying. 

Thanks for reading and thanks everyone for their concerns.... Mainly about who gets my bikes, but.. 😂

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

What a load of Greenwash bollox

Usually greenwashing is when something bad for the environment is painted as being friendly. This time we have something which was never good for the environment, was badly planned, or carefully planned depending on your view on it, to ultimately raise revenue, but being touted as a great clean solution for all. Rather than the shambolic load of shit it actually is. 


Not content with the ULEZ extension, now this little gem.
The Silvertown Tunnel touted as a solution for all, which was designed and built with no pedestrian or cycle passage available is now having a consultation on a dedicated bicycle service through the tunnel.
Some of the quotes from the piece are cringe worthy.

"These cross-river cycling proposals are a key part of our commitment to ensuring that the Silvertown Tunnel supports growth in cross-river cycling use."
A key part would have been considered at the planning stage, not when it's 3/4 built.

"TfL said the bike bus was under consideration because it would be “unsafe” to allow cyclists to ride through the £2bn tunnel"

Years in planning, £2bn, but no provision for "free passage".
A brand new tunnel is "unsafe" for pedestrians and cycles, yet the Rotherhithe Tunnel is for all to use, with only the tiniest of kerbs separating the road from the "pavement" Cars passing within inches of pedestrians.

"Will Norman, the mayor’s walking and cycling commissioner, said: “These plans will mean that cyclists will benefit from easier travel between the Greenwich Peninsula and Silvertown, enabling more people to make the switch to active travel and helping to build a better, greener London.”

Sure thing Will. Using a bus to carry bikes through a brand new tunnel, waiting 10 mins between buses for a ride that would take a couple of minutes. That's a real benefit.

"The consultation will also help to determine whether the service should be free.

A TfL spokesman said no decision had yet been taken on whether to charge cyclists to use the bike bus. “That forms part of the consultation to help understand whether a charge would impact customers’ decision to use the service or not,” he said."

Aaah now we have it... So, design a tunnel for toll use, then make sure EVERYONE who uses it can be charged. Too dangerous for Pedestrians and cyclists just screams piss poor designing and initial consultation.
Declare it unsafe for such use, even though the tiny Rotherhithe Tunnel is "safe", then provide a bus "service" which may or may NOT be free, probably the latter. So now anyone using the crossing will be charged in one way or another. Smart!

All quotes are taken from this article. 
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/transport/london-cyclists-silvertown-thames-tunnel-bicycle-bus-proposal-tfl-consultation-b1094751.html


Monday, April 3, 2023

The problem with cyclists is...

..... the same thing that is wrong with motorists, pedestrians, and all other people regardless of their mode of transport. They are human beings!

Sure there are cases of right and wrong, and many variables which all contribute towards the outside perception of whatever group you belong to, but the biggest issue is people and their sense of entitlement. Not to mention those who wear rose tinted glasses for their cause and refuse to see things any other way. 

Cars and motorists. The enemy of all except for themselves. Doers of most harm, the biggest threat to cyclists and pedestrians alike. When the driver of a car has a moment of entitlement, the result can be catastrophic. Of course there is the question of if an act was malicious or ignorant. Trying to cause harm, or just poor judgement or a lapse of concentration. (not always mobile phone related)
On the flip side it could be argued that they are also the group held most accountable. Vehicles require legal checks, drivers "should" be insured. Cameras to catch any wrong doing, and a whole road traffic act to abide by. That is not to say that any or all the above are any kind of certainty. 
The stats prove that motorists are indeed a mixed bag, with tens of thousands of convictions annually for speeding, red light jumping, and other seriously entitled and dangerous behaviours. The consequences of which can be catastrophic and tragic. 

Then there are cyclists. The majority being well meaning people, using bicycles to commute, stay fit or just simply have some time to themselves. Many are considerate of others, be they cyclists, pedestrians or even motorists. Maintaining their bikes, riding with caution, and following the rules of the road. 
Then of course there are those who don't. A minority I would say. Red lights mean nothing, pedestrians can get out of their damn way. Just like the motorists, no consideration for those around them, not even their own tribe.

This is where things seem to differ though. All sorts of reasons and justifications can be given as to why the one way street doesn't apply, the red light was dangerous to stop at, or the pedestrians should wait for them to pass through crossings, even though the highway code demands they stop. 
Sadly there are some who feel cyclists simply cannot be in the wrong. Jump a light and hit a car, car should have been looking out for them. Distracted on their phone for the next delivery, hit a pedestrian, just trying to make a living 

To me, these people are as bad as those who complain about cyclists not paying "road tax", or that assume all cyclists are the same as the one that cut them off in traffic, then called them a wanker. 

Both groups have many members, the majority by far who do everything right, by the rule, and try to be considerate of everyone around them, but sadly there are a few who don't, and they are the ones always used as the examples for opposing groups. 

Of course there are pedestrians who are a whole different kettle of fish. The different groups all have their quirks. School kids too busy messing about to look before crossing. Commuters, faces in their phones, bumping into each other, pavement furniture, and walking into the road without looking. Tourists, most of us have been one. Confused about which way to look before stepping out, or simply being unaware they are walking in a bike lane. 

The common factors are as I said. We are all humans, we all have our own believes and occasionally exercise a sense of entitlement, or a false sense of safely. However the consequences can be very different. 
But let's not kid ourselves. If all 100kg of me runs into a pensioner or small child while out for a run, I can cause serious harm to them as they slam into the ground. 
If a pedestrian walks into a cycle lane or the road while I am hurtling along at 18-20mph, I am likely to do even more harm. It's simple physics. Just as a car can cause harm when striking a pedestrian, a bike or pedestrian can cause harm to each other in a collision too. 
What usually comes up here is "but cars kill people"... Well statistically so do cyclists and so do human beings. The liklihood is far higher for a car (sorry that should be car DRIVER) vs other, and a driver is unlikely to be injured if a cyclist or pedestrian collide with their vehicle. The statistics of course support the fact that the car /other vehicles/ motorist will be most likely to case harm or death. But that isn't an excuse to run or ride around like an entitled idiot.

To simply claim that bikes DO NOT cause harm or pose a risk to anyone is ignorant. But for some it is the belief they hold, and regardless of what happens the cyclist will NEVER be in the wrong. Should you try to make the case that they were, you are an entitled motorist. If you are a cyclist and call a cyclist out, either you should not be riding a bike, or you are NOT a cyclist but merely someone who uses a bicycle. Yet somehow this separation is never suggested with motorists. They are just all the same.

One thing that has recently caught my attention is the argument of how cargo bikes can replace lots of van journeys. In general I agree, there is certainly a place for it, and we are seeing more and more cargo bikes out there. 
But I have questions. 
Now that the cargo bike is articulated, 25ft long and 250kg (quarter of a ton) can we agree they are likely to cause significant harm in a collision? 
As the definition of a cargo bike now includes e-bike 4 wheeled mini van style vehicles, should they be using the cycleways, shared pedestrian and cycle spaces etc? 
As much as I love the idea that we can cut vehicle use and make the air cleaner for all, and the roads safer, I also appreciate that we live in the UK and the weather is unpredictable at best and abysmal at worst. So it is not always practical to use cargo bikes etc. There are certainly certain situations were the owner of property would not want their items carried by bike. 

If we do reach this utopian ideal that 70% of last mile deliveries are done by cargo bikes, 4 wheel e-bike vans, articulated cargo bikes etc.... What do the roads then look like? Would such users be happy to have some form of ID on their vehicle to allow for accountability? 

I'm all for the transport revolution, but I am also very aware of the realities of human behaviour too. 

If people from ALL groups could just take a moment to recognise that there are those among you who do a disservice to your cause, and are the precise reason you hopes and dreams cannot become reality, then maybe one day there is hope. 

In the meantime, we continue to act with entitlement and ignorance, dismiss that there are issues to be over come, and most of all, blame someone else for the problems, rather than taking a look closer to home and calling people put for their poor behaviour. 

Thursday, February 2, 2023

I need to write more!

 Just putting this out there, that I really need to write more on my blogs. Since splitting them into me in general, and my mental health one, I have stopped writing as much, and that needs to change. 

The less I write, the more thoughts that continue to swirl round and round in my head. Anything from petty queries, to full blown issues that bother me. Writing is my vent, my way of getting it moved from the holding and dwelling area of my brain, to the practical part where I can actually process things, and move on from them.

Expect to see a lot of weird and random rambling posts coming soon for sure. I have a lot of crap to get out of my head. Between here and snazy.co.uk I hope to get a lot of writing done soon. 

So there it is, my promise to myself, and threat / promise to anyone unfortunate enough to read it all. 

The Older Generation

 It's a phrase I have used many times over the years. Sometimes to show some respect and understanding of how things have changed over time, and other times to acknowledge my status in the pecking order of life. 

While I was laying in bed last night, mulling over ideas for blogs, processing the day, and coming to terms with the celebration (of which there will not be one) of my impending milestone of half a century on this planet, it dawned on me... 

I AM the older generation! With all older generational members of my family now passed away, me and my sister are now "the elders". God help the younger ones with us to look up to for advice and wisdom.
The same can probably be said for quite a few of my friends also. Although with some of them at least, the younger ones have a better example to look up to. 

I am of course in the process now of researching what my duties are as "the older generation", and how it will impact my cool rating. Do I need to change the language I use, should my wardrobe be updated for this position of responsibility and power, and more importantly, do I need to grow up now? I bloody hope not!

There was never a pass of the baton from mum, and I am yet to discover an "elders handbook" for reference, so right now I am clutching at straws. All I can say is I will give it my best shot, and try not to be regarded in the same light my generation saw the "older generation" in growing up.

OMG I'M OLD !!!👴