6 Church Rise

The fantastic building works that are currently going on next to my house. Those bits of metal give me such great comfort that the sides of the hole can't collapse in.
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Quick check-in

The clock is ticking down now to our departure for Florida 2012, cars booked, kennels sorted and loads more prep done. Just the smaller details to sort out now.

Meanwhile my clothing size continues to drop, so I will hold out buying my holiday clothes until the last minute. Training is going well, and I'm really looking forwards to spending some vanity time in the sun and the pool. I'm no adonis, but I feel great.

Meanwhile work is reaching the point of being a chore again, so much politics going on, and shit organisation its unreal. Along with people being work shy, and always blaming the next person. I'm no highly motivated worker, but I like to think I'm a team player. Shame there is no team to work with.

So what else is going on. Not much really, getting into summer mode now, adapting to my new lifestyle of getting up at 7am and getting stuck into training daily. Strained my back the other day, 2 days of no training was devastating for me. SO bored.

Other than that, life is pretty normal.

Oh how's this for restraint. I am due an upgrade on my phone but am NOT taking it. I knoooow! Crazy huh.

Right that's me for now, hope all are well.

If you use Twitter check out #TeamSnaz for my latest adventures.
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How annoying!

Just when all is going well, you yawn and pull your back. How the hell does that happen?

Anyway, onto more important things. Firstly training. All updates on my P90X can now be found on therealslimsnaz.blogspot.com
Now the recent highlight that needs marking forever. Congratulations to Mrs and Mrs Stokoe. Was great to see Laura so happy on Sunday after so many ups and downs in life :) And of course nice to see such genuine shared happiness and emotion between Laura and Ivan. The weather was amazing, the planning was great, and the day was mighty. One to remember for a long time.

Speaking of the weather, not sure how long this is all going to last but isn't it glorious! I'm sitting in the middle of a park on the way to work as I write this. Getting my 30 mins of sunshine I take a day. Surrounded by crows, and bathed in sunshine. That said, I can't wait to get off to Florida in a months time.

Right I'm gonna get on, I have rays to catch, so have a great day.
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The new weighted training vest

The new training aid, a 0-22lbs weighted vest. As mentioned in my earlier entry. This should really help me put that extra effort into all my activities, and make Plyo HELL !

P90X, Round 2, a new approach.

My first round of P90X officially ended yesterday, the last workout being on the Saturday. Day 90 saw some great results for me, and I have had some amazing feedback for the finished results. Bringing It really does work if you are determined, committed and motivated by the right things. If you are not, then maybe now is not the time for you. Hell you can do anything for 90 days haha.

So what do I take from this round into the next? The main one has to be nutrition. No its really not the be all and end all, while very important, its not something that total commitment is needed for unless you are aiming to the highest levels, and able to stay on track. My results have been pretty epic as far as I am concerned, but the diet side has been far from strict. I'm sure if I told some that I had been faithful to the nutrition plan and ended up like this, there would be hi-5's all around and chants of see that's what nutrition is all about. Lean arms and legs, bulked shoulders, and abs starting to show through.

However, all that said, I am going to take diet a little more seriously this time. More because of curiosity than anything if I'm honest. Now I am at the point I am at, I am left wondering just how impressive I can get this 40yr old body in just 2 rounds of P90X. Again, I should say I'm not going to be in any way strict, just careful about sinful intake and minimise the junk I eat. My top abs are just starting showing through now, and I wonder if I can make them show a lot more by Day 30, so there is my first goal.

Looking forwards to Day30 already and setting myself goals means I also have to step my game up quite a lot. So todays first session, Day1 Round2 was done with a slight twist to the past 90.

From this point in here are my rules. All dog walks before or after workouts MUST be done with the weighted vest with at least 11lbs in it. Where possible inclines will be run not fast pace walked. Weight to be increased as and when possible. ALL workouts which allow the vest to be worn will be done with it. Again with at least 11lbs in it. Push ups will be done with push up bars for full range of motion. Obviously not all styles of push ups allow for them. Intake will be minimal, but suitable for workout of the day. With protein and creatine being used throughout, and recovery drink of 500mls taken with each workout. Last meal of the evening will include fresh veg, and will be had when I get home from work, not late.

Friesdays are banned (maybe one monthly) and Sindays are the only day of the week when a small sin can be had. Fluid intake to remain very high. Weigh ins have no great importance from this point on, just about feeling fitter, trying harder and getting toned. Weigh ins will be for humour more than anything, and the only accurate record will be of workouts from here on in, and NOT weight.

Its sounding pretty different already isn't it? Add to that the increased resistance bands, and new heavier dumbells for really making my back and arms work hard, and it should all have the impact I'm looking for.

The longer this journey goes on, the more epic it gets, and the more people that join me on it just makes it more fun and interesting. Its not a competition in any way, but its great to have others you know to bounce thoughts, ideas and findings off. Its just one big learning curve, and we can all learn from one another, constantly.

Oh before I forget, ABRX, or Ab Ripper X. I have a confession. During round 1 I did it once, or should I say 'tried' it once. This time its a must, and will be done every session that it applies to. Todays effort was a lot better than I remember it being last time. Probably down to less bulk and more core strength thanks to Core Syns and Yoga.

Tomorrow will be of great interest to me. Plyo, with the weighted vest on. Having felt the difference the vest makes to simple long walks, I am expecting some serious digging being needed to complete an hour of Plyo with all the extra weight on me. Or at least I'm hoping so. That feeling of total exhaustion at the end is the goal here, knowing I gave it everything my body has. Collapsing during push ups today, while a little painful on the knees, was rewarding in a weird way. Knowing that it wasn't my mind giving up, but my body.

So there it is, my approach to my second round of P90X. Seeing results this time around is going to be somewhat harder, but I'm hoping with well taken photos, some evidence will be visible at each 30 day checkpoint. Let's see eh.

As ever, if you are doing, planning or starting your P90X journey, best of luck, stick at it, keep pressing play and give it all you got. If you gave it your best, you are an achiever. Compare yourself to no one, commit to yourself. I look forwards to hearing your stories and findings soon.

@therealslimsnaz
#Fit4Forty

Feel free to follow me on Twitter.
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Day 90 has arrived.

Ok guys and gals, just a really quick entry to say, 'here ya go'. The start and finish pics of my first trip with P90X.

All I can say is wowza! I had a great time, and am starting over again in the morning. Blown away by my results, not too shabby for someone who didn't really take nutrition too seriously.

Let's see what happens second time around.

Thank you all for taking the time to follow and support, and congrats to so many friends jumping on board, good luck to you all. Let's do this!
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Just a quick note to Anon's

I love the fact that people from all walks of life and various countries read my blog. The feedback is appreciated both positive and negative.

HOWEVER....
If you a spineless little shit that wants to post threatening comments about matters you disagree with me on... You are NOT welcome.
This blog is in MY name, about MY life, and contains MY opinions. If you don't like them, feel free to say so, but do NOT feel you have the right to post any kind of threat or wish of harm to me, while hiding behind the name 'anon'.

Sorry to regular readers for putting up with this rant, but I am sickened and disturbed when complete strangers feel the need to make comments like this....

"Maybe Santa will bring you a hot bullet to the head, followed by an IPCC cover up for Christmas, seeing as you clearly don't know the value of life (or your own brain, for that matter)."

You are a threatening, childish, spineless fuckwit, so as I said in my reply... Fuck off and save the world. If you took the time to read other entries you would realise I put a very high value on life.... Or most peoples anyway.
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The final straight

The finish line lays dead ahead of me. Currently just having finished Day3 of Week13 on P90X, I have just 3 routines remaining before I achieve the status of completing the complete P90X program. Its surprising how quickly the time has passed, and I have to admit to being a little impressed with myself for reaching this stage.

So, 3 months of quite intense, almost religious training, what have I learned, what can I share with you about my experience that might inspire or inform you.

Let's have a recap of this whole trip now and see.
I found myself doing P90X by complete mistake. A conversation with Noel one weekend got me interested, and a week later I was getting stuck in. The first thing I should impress upon you is 'be prepared' before you start. Not in a physical way, but more making sure you are ready to start, and have all you need to get things going.

Equipment for the program is very basic, and one of the things that appealed to me about it. That said, increasing the amount of equipment and improving the quality of it will make a big difference, as I have found over the past 13 weeks. I shall explain.
Pull up bars are an option but one I was never going for (you can if you want) So I went the route of adjustable dumbells and a single resistance band from Decathlon. This was fine to start with, but as things progress it becomes routine and stale, so change is needed.
For pushups you can use push ups bars, but I didn't.

12 weeks later I have 6 resistance bands, including 2 epic beast strength ones, Nike push up bars, a yoga mat, a heart rate monitor. Sounds a lot, but its all very compact and hasn't cost the earth. Now instead of doing the same thing week in week out, I can vary between free weights and bands, and vary the resistance of the bands to mix it up a little and give more on good days.
In addition to the above I have now added a weighted training vest to the mix. Up to 10kg with 500g removable weights, it allows me to make jumping and moving of the torso and legs a little harder, and like the bands, allows me to increase or decrease the intensity. I will be using this for round 2 of P90X, but experimented with it today at half weight and OMG! What a difference it makes.

The crazy part about the vest is that it only weighs 22lbs. Since first starting to look after myself, I have lost almost 4 times this. However one 1 hour walk with the vest at just 11lbs made me realise how much strain I must have been putting on my heart, other organs and joints. I don't ever want to do that to myself again. That alone has been a serious lesson for me to take care of myself better in future.

The first few weeks were a struggle for sure, I won't deny it. To anyone in the early weeks, Phase 1, and finding it a chore, keep plugging on there, it gets easier. So easy in fact that you will probably need to do what I did and challenge yourself a little more to feel like you gave it your all.
By Phase 2 (week5) things are starting to make sense, form improving and confidence can start to sky rocket. This is the time to make sure you are not cruising along, and check the weights, reps and intensity are the best you can do, and not just what you can get by with. Underachieving is just cheating yourself, no one else.

At this point I should also say, make the most of Week4, the stretching and cardio routines are there as a break for your body, to let the muscles recover a bit, and for you to make sure all is well. Improving flexibility will help a lot in the coming weeks, trust me on this. X Stretch and Yoga are sheer genuis routines there to allow your body that much needed rest, while keeping the heat on a little.

By the end of Phase 2 I was really starting to feel alive. Craving more exercise, brimming with confidence, and a touch of arrogance creeping in. Not a good thing, as this is where intake and diet can start to slip a bit. I didn't gain weight, but it has left me wondering if my physicals gains could have been enhanced without all the naughty extras.
With the energy comes the need to do more. For me, getting the girlfriend started on the program, and doubling up routines by training with her in the evenings was the extra burn I needed. An average day would be 4-5 miles with the dogs, train, go to work. Come home, 4-5 miles with the dogs then train again. And it has really been no big deal to keep that intensity.

That said, for Phase 3 I decided to throttle back on the extra sessions, and just focus on solid, clean single sessions daily, giving it all I have, and making sure I am training on the limit of my ability. By this point the extra equipment is starting to come into play, and things such as push ups have changed completely. Extra inches of travel, extra focus on the muscles, and a perfect clean push up of any variety that can be done with bars. For £14 they are alone game changers. With the introduction of muscle confusion, and really pushing hard and digging deep, post workout shakes appeared, and the day after effect returned. Struggling to open doors and climb stairs early on.

Post workout aches are a beautiful thing. They are not a strain as such, but the can remind you of what day to day activities use which muscles. Try and push a heavy door open after a session on triceps and POW they are alive. Push through it, and enjoy that sensation. Pulling the same door open (from the other side) after a bicep session and BANG, feel that bicep bulge as you pull. Some people moan about the aches, some struggle to function with them. But for me, I love them, and strive to ache like hell the nest day.

So here we are, middle of the final week, end of Phase 3, and embracing the rest, while using this time to fine tune myself to start over again. Getting the weight right in the vest to start on Week1 with it, making sure my bands are insane enough to really cause some ache, and perfecting my push up technique with the bars.

Round 1 almost up. Most than impressed with the results of it, and eager to see what round 2 can deliver. A trip to Florida mid-way through Round 2 will add a little challenge for me, but I can't wait.

End of this week sees the much anticipated Day90 pictures, and already I know the change from Day1 - Day90 is crazy. I was never expecting or even hoping to be ripped, which is a good thing, but I'm sure for anyone who has not seen pics since Day 30, they will be impressed to say the least. Watch for them, coming this weekend.

So thanks for the company on this funtastic journey through P90X, and keep watching for Round 2. It all starts again next week :)
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The changes that occur

I have just finished Week 12 of P90X now, and am on the final straight now for the end of the first lap. Week13, stretch week is all that remains.
Talking to a friend who is just starting her P90X journey, we have been discussing what changes we have seen so far, and what goals have been realised, or reconsidered.

So what have I noticed?
Well obviously there are the obvious, the physical changes, so let's run through those first. Weight loss affects you in many ways, not just physical appearance. For starters there is how you move and feel moving. Brisk, flowing and comfortable. Rather than stumbling along awkwardly and uncomfortably. Its not something that happens over night, so is not something that you notice unless you look back carefully.

Every day on my commute to and from work I tackle many flights of stairs, and as I think back I realise now how cumbersome I was travelling up and down these, where as now I pounce up and down them like a cat stalking prey. Jumping, springing, and travelling fast and lightly. Where as before I would really know I had just tackled a flight or two.
Just the whole feeling of being able to move, being free and able to do things you want to, agility is a total transformation too.

One of the biggest physical changes for me though it the lack of excess body getting in my way when I am trying to bend, reach or move in general. Slipping through smaller gaps, but still allowing for your former mass is quite hilarious at times. My greatest though it during workouts. Bending down to stretch hamstrings, or doing side stretches and actually not getting rolls of flab winding you as you bend forwards, or stop you bending to the side, and finding yourself going over much further.

The next change I have noticed is comfort in clothing. Now obviously all my clothes are a lot looser than they were, but some replacements in smaller sizes have been bought. Finally realising the word 'fitted' doesn't mean your belly doesn't hang out, nor that it pulls tight like lycra. Seeing how a fitted shirt makes you look in the mirror is quite rewarding. Speaking of mirrors, I think I am getting a little vain to say the least. I do love the opportunity to check myself out when it presents.

The strange one for me, which I think I mentioned before, is my fascination with myself. What do I mean? Well suddenly I have pecs, lats, biceps and triceps, boy have I got triceps! Catching a glimpse of the new definition in the aforementioned mirrors, well that's a match made in heaven for my ego. I love a good cuddle..... With myself! Wowza I have shoulders, yummy lol. I know its weird, but its motivational and rewarding too, so I'm gonna keep doing it.

Confidence also peaks as I start to feel fitter, strutting the streets, rollin with swagga, that's my new flow, ya feel? Seriously though, from brief encounters with people, to general interactions of all sorts, the feeling of being confident that my physique matches my persona is something great. Not hiding in the corner secretly ashamed of being the chubby one anymore feels gooood! (He types listening to LMFAO, Sexy and I know it' lol)

What I'm getting at is, P90X, training, getting fit isn't just about looks at all. Its a whole bunch of things. My life is very different. Full of energy and motivation to keep moving. Drive beyond belief, and goals that just keep moving for the better.

Right, earlier I mentioned the friend I was talking to, she is at the end of Week2 now, and also blogging her progress, so feel free to check out someone elses perspective on the P90X program here... http://lilcaz83.blogspot.co.uk

Next week is far from relaxing with 2 sessions of yoga, and other stretching and cardio routines. But come the weekend I will have officially completed P90X. I am torn right now, do I take a week off, or do I dive back in. I will decide over the coming week. In the meantime I know I need my weighted vest asap. As great as its been to lose weight, I now find myself wanting to carry more to make the workout more intense, so the solution is a weighted training vest. Adding 20lbs to the load I'm carrying walking the dogs and working out should hopefully have a positive impact. Let's see, I will be sure to let y'all know.

Right I'm done. Have a great weekend, and keep doing what you're doing.
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Quick update....

Ok so this period of 2 weeks towards the end of P90X Round1 is my transition period as I have previously said. And its a steep learning curve.
First up, without checking the scales I can honestly say I am NOT expecting any further losses. This phase has been all about nutrition and supplements, and they appear to be working. Bulking out and firming up. As well as building stamina in muscle groups.
If there is a loss, then great, but I don't expect it. We will find out the final weight next week at the end of the program, til then I'm focusing on the important things.

I have been experimenting with the time of day I work out recently, and today tried yoga first thing. After 20 mins to wake up and get moving I got stuck in. I can honestly say that this is NOT ideal for me at all lol. Damn it was hard work getting tired muscles involved. Needless to say, form suffered a little for it, and stretches were not as good as they could have been. As for the rest, well, the other workouts have been done varying before and after dog walks, and once again there is a noticeable difference to them also.

I want to add this too before I go. I am building my own little army of P90X'er Snaz's Soldiers :) so wanted to say well done, keep going and dig deep ( and get a move on to those who have not yet got their fingers out.) So , Chantal, Carly, Clare, Amit, John, Matt and Chris.... Well done for even considering this program. Anyone else interested in getting going on P90X, just shout. I'm always here to offer what advice I can, some guidance and a whole bunch of motivation and arse kickin.

Come on Snaz's Soldiers!
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Switchin it up

Its all very well being in a well planned program, alternating, varying, switching and changing as the weeks go on, but ultimately as you perfect your form you are going to get used to things a bit. I am now in Week12 of P90X and decided I had lost the edge on that 'morning after ache', so it was time to switch it up my way.

For the first two phases I have been doing the same things the same way, bands for back and pull downs, with free weights for the rest. For push ups I have used the flat open hand to floor approach. So this time around I decided to throw a spanner in the works and cause some muscle confusion. This week I am using resistance bands for 90% of the movements, and my new Nike push up bars for the push ups.

In simple terms OMG! What a difference its made. The workout itself suddenly became a struggle again, in a good way. And the morning after, well enough said. Needless to say I KNOW I have worked out, and exactly what body parts I hit yesterday.

With this in mind I am set on the idea that the next round of P90X (in 2 weeks time) will consist of switching every 2 weeks. Bands to weights and back again. Given there are only 3 weeks per phase, this means it will be even more unbalanced, but even more confusing for my body. Which is exactly what I want.

On another note recovery drink is not all hype, that stuff really works. I'm using Aptonia ISO, and my god it makes a difference for me, especially during an intense workout like Plyometrics. That now forms a solid part of my workout regime for sure. Today for example, with my heart averaging 135-155bpm for the hour, the carbs in the drink kept me on my game. Huge fluid loss during training, but I ended fresh, and felt great for it.

Todays Plyo was rounded off with an hour of walking the dogs. Another little switch up for my body and mind to cope with. And to be honest keeping it fresh is keeping me focused too. As committed as I am to the program, and trust me I AM committed, there are always moments of wavering concentration and focus.

My mind is in the game, my heart is in it, and my health is brilliant right now. I know I'm doing something right when 2 more friends have decided to jump on board and give P90X a go.

So that's me for now, popped it up a gear, heading for Day90 and the final pics FAST, and also round 2. My Day90 pics will become my Day1 pics for round 2, and what I have learned during round 1 will stand me in good ground to do amazing things for the next time around. Diet dialed in, nutrition sorted, routine plotted, and goal in sight.

Let's do this!

Welcome aboard the P90Xpress people :)
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Just two weeks remain for me...

I know, its crazy right, hard to believe this is the TWELFTH week I have been following P90X. I am gutted though, as I would love to say I have not missed a beat, but that would not be true. Nope, last week Gout got the better of me and I finally after 11 weeks missed ONE workout. Although I am not too devastated by which one I missed, I still feel incomplete by not managing them all. I missed one round of Legs and Back, and delayed Yoga by a day to ensure I would be able to do it properly.

That said, I can take consolation in the fact that I have been doubling up for almost two weeks now. So while I have missed one, I have actually done an addition 11. So, swings and roundabouts there huh.

So whats happened so far over the past 11 weeks. Well, I have lost a whole load of weight, reduced my size considerably, tightened my core to a ridiculous point. A point where I can feel everything pulling tight no matter what I am doing. Instead of walking around sucking my stomach in, my body is doing it for me constantly. P90X really works. And yes, you can quote me on that. I know its just a workout program on DVD, as a few have been quick to remind me, and have also commented to other friends doing it too. But let me explain in simple terms for those of you out there who still don't quite get this.

12 DVD's, 90 days, 6 days a week, and 1 hour a day (except for Yoga)..... That, plus a little self belief, and a fairly sensible intake of foods is all it takes to transform yourself. If you know me, then look at my pictures. No bull****, no fake stuff, and no lies about how long its taken me to get noticeable changes.
There are varying levels of commitment you can offer the program, in return for which the program will give you a new lease on life. I would be lying if I said I have been strict on my diet.... I haven't. however I have made some pretty big changes, without depriving myself. Round 2 for me will see a change to this. 30+lbs gone, inches from my waist, fat from all parts of my body, just some of the changes I have seen in the last 76 days so far. And I really cant wait to see what Day 90 will bring for the before and after pictures.

The last 2 weeks or 12 workouts will see me pushing hard for the finish line, digging deeper than before, and changing things slightly. I am now using SIS Creatine, Aptonia CW Protein shakes, and Aptonia ISO workout drinks. As well as this, I have decided to cause some muscle confusion, and change from free weights to bands for the last 2 weeks. As well as introducing Nike push-up bars to improve my form and range in push-ups. Today was the first day of using them, and OMG what a difference. Gone are the high reps, and here come the clean and deep push-ups I have been looking for. Same with the bands, no wavering trying to keep the free weights moving cleanly, and in with the high resistance of the bands and super clean reps. Needless to say my body knows it has worked out today, and the post workout discomfort has returned, yay!

From today on, I want to keep my intake pretty strict, getting the right balances of carbs, calories and protein in me, and start heading towards finding the right set up for my next 90 days. These last 2 weeks are as much a test bed for the next round of P90X, as they are the dash for the finish line. Hopefully at the end of this time I will know what is working for me, and can knuckle down and get stuck into a nice clean next 90.

So, before I go, let me just say well done to everyone who is getting onboard the whole BeachBody experience, those committing to 60 or 90 days of change. Well done for primarily believing in yourself, and of course placing some trust in BB and their workouts, to give you the change to your health and your body that you are seeking. Carly, Clare, Chantal, to name but a few. If we can do it, so can you. So quit with the whining, doubting, mocking and excuses and get involved. Its YOUR body, YOUR health, and YOUR life... you get one chance with it all.... Don't **** it up!

Finally, as always, thank you to BeachBody.com, the P90X crew, Tony Horton and Jace and her Warriors for giving me everything I need to change my life once and for all.

What symbolises YOU?

Don't ask me why, but todays thought is all about representation. I got wondering about all things great, then ended up with this thought.
Be it you avatar of life, a signature image or something to sum you up in one single image or object, what would you choose to represent you. And more to the point, what would others use to remember you by.

We are surrounded by corporate logos. Seeing a simple outline can plant a thought or desire in our minds in a flash. Be it a curvy M in yellow, or the red and blue ying-yang of Pepsi, we are all led by these images. So why I thought, are we not the same with personal associations. I suppose in a way we are, seeing something from our past can trigger memories of a person, but not everyone.

I am putting the question out there for 2 reasons, I'm curious how people see themselves, and want a good way to put more of you in my mind. I like those trigger moments that remind me of friends and good times. Maybe I am a slightly deeper thinker than some. Maybe this entry makes no sense to you. However others I'm sure will be thinking hard about their own image.

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently about symbolic representation, and for sure my tattoos are proof enough of my commitment to all things symbolic. With the anniversary of mum passing approaching I am in the middle of planning my next image to remind me. For mum it is her lily. Having it in the pond for many years with no luck in it blooming, she didn't give up. And on time, as her own health declined finally it burst into life. A beautiful bloom, and one that made her proud. Such was her pride and passion in her creation, it is only fitting that it be the centre piece for my tribute tattoo.

For me, well I have included an image on mine too. A simple 'i' . The universal sign for information. The point you can trust to turn to when you need info or advice. I am no oracle, but I do know that a large group of people seem to turn to me when the chips are down, or just to blow off steam. Sometimes inspiration, other times just a second opinion, my 'i' is illuminated 24 hours a day, and always willing to have a say. Right or wrong, I will always speak my mind as clearly and honestly as I can.

There are many images throughout our lives that signifies something about us. But what is YOUR defining image?

Wrong end of the stick

We have all done it I'm sure, seen or heard something and made a snap judgement on it. Be it personal or something not close to us at all, we make judgements everyday. Some are right, some a little misguided, and every now and then we miss the point by a country mile.

Before I go on I want to say two things about this entry. Firstly, just thinking about the situation and needing to write this is making me shake. With upset and a snippet of anger at the thought of even having to set the record straight. And secondly, I don't do empty or unnecessary apologies, which is why this isn't one.

Its almost 2 years ago now that I lost a very old a dear friend in a motorcycle accident. One of a few friends who have perished this way. I grew up with John and his sister Dawn from a very young age, and after some years apart fate brought us all back together again, and we stayed in touch ever since. Losing John was a wow moment for me, hitting nerves that no other loss had ever thrown up for me, and it is a loss that affected me and has remained with me. I carry a symbol of my love for my fallen brother with me daily, and he is still the key to many a story told.

So why do I mention this now? Well simply because of a mish mash of circumstances that led to an unfortunate and unnecessary situation.

A few days ago there was a big accident on the A2, a few miles from the Blackwall Tunnel where John lost his life. This too was a motorcycle accident. It has become a habit for me to share any serious local traffic situations with my friends on Facebook, as I do it as part of my job anyway, and like to make sure people don't get caught up in it.
Comments were posted on it, and some mentioned delays getting home etc, I'm sure we have all done that at some point.

My sister also posted a comment suggesting it sounded serious as it was closed for a long time. My simple reply to this was "bike, high speed road....... enough said".... To the un suspicious eye it would read just as it says... Fast road, fast moving traffic, higher chance of serious injury or fatality.
However, to some it read that I was suggesting that because it was a bike, and a fast road, that clearly the biker was to blame. Not quite sure how you twist it to get that. But some how it happened.

Comments were made, suggestions and accusations touted, and blame thoroughly cast upon me. I did try to make my point that I was just commenting on the dynamics of the situation, but apparently after knowing someone for 23 years, I'm not as transparent as I thought I was. 2 girls I have known for such a long time now, and been through thick and thin with now feel that I disrespected John by saying what I said, and am now just trying to make amends for my wrong doing.

Well I can only say this much. Anita, Nicola, I love you both like sisters, and have been honoured with the trust you both once installed in me. Sharing your darkest emotions with me, and trusting me with your thoughts. The only thing I can use the word sorry for is to describe how I feel about losing that trust, and how I feel about your decisions to just make such a snap judgement and cut me off. These are your decisions and ones I respect either way.

In the meantime, thank you to those who do truly know and trust me, and to those who know that I love John with all my heart, always have and always will. No matter the daft things he did, he was taken from us all, most of all his sons WAY too soon, and its is a tragedy that we all live with daily.

I have said my peace, and hope one day you understand that I have nothing but respect for John. And having lost 3 close friends in under 3 years to motorcycle accidents of all kinds, I am one of the last people who will ever just tar all with the same brush and immediately cast blame and doubt on one party.

And finally to John, I'm so sorry to have used your name in such an entry, for what seems quite petty. I would never wish to cause you harm or disrespect. X
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Is this Australia?

Surely it must be, I have dug SO deep today working out that I feel like I have gone right through the earths core. Sure got hot enough in the process, let me tell you!

So how are you guys doing? I know some of the readers are currently in workout programs, mainly Insanity and P90X. Are you giving it everything you have? Go hard, or go home is my favourite motto at the moment, purely because it says my views on training in just one line.

Going hard doesn't mean the heaviest and most reps in the world, more than everyone else. It simply means challenge yourself. When your mind says no more, defy it. When you think you are done, dig for one more rep of whatever it is you are doing. In short Train to failure, not failure to train. Being exhausted at the end is the goal, not being able to finish the last rep is a good sign.

For me, the recent doubling up of routines is really starting to show through. Pushing for every last rep, at a rate if almost every 12 hours really does put a drain on the body, but damn it feels good IF you can maintain the regime. The evening workouts with Chantal are a day or 2 behind mine, which means repetition here and there. Choosing which to commit 100% to, and which to tag along on is important. I would be doing Plyo tonight, but my program has Yoga in the morning, so I will just be taking it easy tonight.

My biggest challenge is nutrition, which I am still trying to get the right balance on. I'm getting there though, and the results are very obvious now, which I love. Added to the P90X is approx 10 miles of dog walks @ 4mph. Broken into 2 blocks, they give me the extra cardio I crave to wear me out.

Can you tell I'm loving this routine yet?
Right, I better eat and work. Have a great and positive day people :)
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