My 2022....

 Well, it's that time of year again when everyone goes mad looking back over the past 12 months. Vowing to change things in 2023, healthier, happier, richer and all the usual bullshit. Scouring the internet for gym memberships, diet plans, as well as New Years Sales bargains. Bombarded by all the social media platforms, encouraging us to share our best moments of the year, and give us one last chance to outshine someone else.  I talk about it like its a negative and something I don't subscribe to, but I would be a liar if I said I didn't have a streak of egomaniac running through me, or didn't spend most of my year making everything look like it was amazing and perfect. 

That said, anyone who reads my blogs will also know that it is not all a bed of roses. On my other blog, www.snazy.co.uk I have shared some reall highs and lows from this year. Logging into this blog, I can see the last time I wrote anything was a few days before I went off to France for a bike ride with friends, but I will come back to that. So immediately I am drawn to the idea of making more of an effort next year to write more general entries like this one. That of course depends on how things go on the mental side of things.

The year started off "badly", by deciding it was my year to start doing regular Park Runs, to get more involved, social, and active. New Years Day, I did the Dulwich Park run, the next week Crystal Palace, and the week after back to Dulwich, where I caught Covid-19. Two years avoiding it, and thanks to a dirty spitter on the run, caught it trying to stay healthy. The irony!
Over the next two weeks I learned about using services like Woosh to get shopping delivered as Ann caught Covid from me, so we both had to isolate. Keeping active during the isolation was important to me, so lots of Zwift runs and rides. 

As the days passed, the tests kept coming up positive, heading towards Feb, still testing positive. With our return trip to Svalbard being just a couple of weeks away, it became a bit of a worry if we would test clear in time. Thankfully we did, and off we went for another epic adventure to the most beautiful place on earth. It's a bit of a journey to get there, and with a layover in Oslo, we arrived in Longyearbyen the next day. NO snow mobiles this time for us, just a lovely adventure. I am sure meeting Grim followed by Cecilia would be Anns highlight, next up would be her proposal to me I reckon. 

A magicial time was had, and after meeting Grim, Christoffer and Cecilia, exploring the wilderness, and taking 2 million photos we came back to the UK. Oh, I turned 49 there too.

By March my fitness was in full swing, returning to longer runs, getting in loads of rides, especially before work thanks to the continuation of WFH. Sadly however the being active would come to an abrupt halt with me tearing my calf during a 10 mile run. Resorting to getting the train home was devastating, but the right thing to do. Thankfully I had spent the last year and a half carrying a mask and contactless card with me "just in case". The next month consisted of cycling mainly, as each time I tried to run, the calf would give out again. 

After a month of mainly cycling, and having not really run for about six weeks, suddenly it was time for the London Landmarks Half Marathon, which I had agreed to run with Amy months before, so off to Central London we went. A great atmosphere for sure, and I was sure I was well rested and repaired. Mile two of 13, TWANG, my calf went. Of course I finished the run, but with a crap time and very uncomfortable. Time to rest again, as in a couple of months I had a big trip to do on the bike.

Later in April, now planning for July, I decided I needed a new bike, so got the new one ordered, and sold the old one shortly after it arrived. I spent the next few weeks getting aquainted with the new bike, and got a lot of miles in on both bikes. As the weather warmed up, so the rides got longer and longer.

All the while, behind the scenes the discussion of returning to the office was becoming more and more of a thing. With a new manager at work, and not being sure what his take on WFH was, tensions were growing. For over two years now we had worked fine from home, but as time ticked by, it started to sound more and more likely that they would ask us to return to the office. With the company releasing guidance on hybrid working, we had gone from positive, to uncertain in a short space of time. However, no news was good news, so we plodded on.

In May, about a month after my last big run, it was the Vitality London 10k. A year ago, the idea of a 10k was cute. Cheeky one hour run taking in some sights. However with my calf still refusing to behave this was going to be a struggle, and it was. My calf pulled, the run was pretty miserable, but I got to the end and got a medal. Positives, right!

The end of May arrived, and it was now time for Ride London 100, using the new Essex route. Weather was looking good, I had been riding plenty on the run up to it, and the calf was behaving on the bike, so finally an event I could sink my teeth into, and that I did. Lapping up the miles, grinning from ear to ear, and sprinting for the finish. Not to mention riding home after the event. Finally things were looking good.

Now into June and it was time to head North to Sunderland to see Ed Sheeran at the Stadium of Light. Thanks to a wonderful couple I had met 17 years ago in Tunisia, then not seen since, but stayed in touch on Facebook, we were put up for the duration of our stay, and introduced to one of the most perfect children I have ever met. River, what a lovely little guy. Scott and Julie were the perfect hosts, and for the next few days we explored the North East, with me managing a 10 mile run (I think) and a lovely ride from South Shields to Newcastle Upon Tyne. What a stunning place. 
The concert itself was amazing, other than having a rather large lady next to me practically sitting on my lap for the entire concert.

Back home, it was time for the final preparation from "the trip". Me, Jason and Scott going to France. But wait, life has a surprise for you Michael.
Work have made their decision on the future of Work From Home, and ... It's NOT for you! Nope, my group had for some reason been chosen to return to the office, we would be given 30 days notice when they were ready. My mind popped, I lost it, and my anxiety went through the roof. I won't go into detail here, as there are lots of entries about this on my other blog, but it threw a spanner in the works for sure. An appeal from group AND personal level were launched immediately. 

The very end of June me and Ann headed to Wembley Arena for another chance to see Ed Sheeran, this time with no one sitting on my lap, something that completely changed the experience. A fantastic show, a great distraction, and great to have a moment of feeling normal while surrounded by thousands of people. Something that would usually have me in a state. 

Mid July we packed ourselves and our bikes into the Yeti, and headed off for the French Alps. For some reason I had thought it might be a fun idea to ride up Alpe D'Huez. Not only that, but between us we had decided that a 30 mile trip there, then a 30 mile trip back to Grenoble on the bikes would be a good warm up and cool down. As it turns out, warming up wasn't a problem. In the midst of a heatwave, with temperatures hitting 40c, warming up was not hard, cooling down however....

Arriving to 35c in the afternoon sun the day before the big ride, it was glorious yet overwhelming. With the recent news from work still weighing heavily on me, the heat and over thinking resulted in about 2 hours sleep. This was after a 28 hour trip from London to the Alps, where I managed 0 hours of sleep. Deciding for the earliest start possible, we got up way before sunrise and it was beautiful but already 27c. I will do another blog all about it soon. By the time we reached the town of Huez, it was in the low 30's and around 10am. A few hours later we made it to the top, and I can honestly say standing there with two amazing friends, in glorious sunshine, surrounded by the beauty of the mountains, was one of the best moments of my life, and I can't think of two better people to share the moment with .

In August the amazing weather was still with us, and many more adventures were had. Spending time at the weekends with Ann, getting to places like Victoria Park to enjoy the sunshine and food market. Lots of little trips exploring new places, braving public transport, and making the most of the weather, and time together. Of course I still did a lot of solo riding in this time too, but not so much in the way of running. BBQ and water butts also became a thing, with the hosepipe ban, and continued sunny weather. Crystal Palace Lake dried up, people begun to act like the world was about to end. Then it rained, and the world calmed down again.

In the meantime, with still no word from work as to what was happening, and my stress levels rising, I decided I would speak to work about it, and tell them how bad it was getting for me. Speaking to my manager and HR I was asked to see Occupational Health, which I did a couple of weeks later. Things were well there, and I hoped that the report would come soon, and everything could be sorted out at work swiftly. I was wrong. 

At the end of August we travelled to North Wales for the first time this year, long over due, but much needed trip, we tried an Air BnB for the first time, and it was delightful. Arriving the day before the Rhyl Airshow, which we didn't even know was happening. Heading off to Sports Direct to get a baseball cap to stop my rapidly balding head from burning. We spent the afternoon on the prom watching a fantastic air show. The following day I went for a long ride in the morning and arrived home just as the second day of the air show started. Only to spot a Red Arrow limping back to the airfield with its smoke on. A bird strike had shattered the canopy! Wow!

September and it was time to try running again, this time the Big Half in London. Choosing to "Jeff" for the first time while running the run with Nikki. I can honestly say it was the worst Half Marathon of my life, and Jeff is NOT my friend. Never again. However on a positive note, the trips to London for the runs were good practise for me getting on public transport. I had changed my mind many times about doing this run, but in the end thought what the hell, and did it. 

A week later and something happened that the world would ripple from. Queen Elizabeth II passed away, marking a truly historic moment for all to remember. The country, and in fact world responded with the greatest of humility, and the show of emotion by millions was truly touching. 

A couple of weeks later, and still no word from work about what was happening, and I had reached boiling point. Sleep affected and genrally in a dark place, I spoke with the GP who signed me off immediately for a few weeks. Prescribing medication, and referring me for CBT. I started the CBT a couple of weeks later, and the meds shortly after that.

October, and still off sick, something I was now dreading had arrived. The London Marathon! Unsure if I was fit enough to even run, let alone try and run a distance like that, I decided I would give it a go, and round off one hell of a year with a bang. Given the lack of training and running fitness I was happy to just finish, and finish I did. Walking a huge chunk of it, it was not the way I had imagined doing it, but I finished and could still walk, so that's a win in my books. 

Next up it was time for a trip to Lytham St Annes, for Ann to have a tattoo she had long dreamed of having done. A great drive up there, and checking in to another Air BnB. Dropping Ann to the studio in the morning, I then headed off on the bike for a ride along the coast to Blackpool. Lucky me, a massive headwind the whole way there, which thankfully equated to a tailwind the whole way home again. Another lovely ride and another streak on my Strava heatmap. Doing as much as I could to keep my head straight, this trip was another step on the roads to recovery

Mid October I took an adventurous little ride along the A13 to Thurrock to see the protesters high above the QE2 Bridge in Dartford, seeing the chaos 2 people were causing was stunning. Thankfully it didn't affect me being on a bike. Smug moment for sure. 

By the end of Oct, early Nov, heavy rains had arrived, washing away the memories of the drought and heatwave, it was time for Covid boosters, and time to try out Community Fibre. Not to mention a slight reconfiguration of the home office. Having waited long enough to get an answer from work, I had now given up and was doing what was best for me. This continues to be the case now, with all communication with my manager and HR being non existent. Something I aim to address in 2023.

The rest of the year has been a bit of a blur to be honest. Lots going on in the world, weather going crazy, riding as much as I could, and giving up on running for the rest of the year. Spending the rest of the year adjusting to the change in weather on the bike, buying myself clothing etc to get me through the winter on the bike, and completing my CBT sessions, with the 12th being the other week. 

I end this year, and go into 2023 knowing I have resilience, have fought back again my mental health struggles of the year, which I have not experienced for a number of years now, and with a idea in mind how I want to proceed. Happy with my achievements physically, and the place I am in mentally now, I can look forward to the excitement of getting married in 2023, turning 50, and whatever else life wants to throw at me. 
My plan is to relax and enjoy my cycling a bit more, remain goal free with regards to cycling and running for another year. No big challenges, no epics in mind. Just get back to running, improve my fitness and tighten up a bit. While dealing wth things at work with some gusto, and considering if I go and have an ASD assessment done. It is something I have wondered about for a while now, and am pretty sure I want to get it done, as it could just answer a lot of questions for me. 

Right,...... Happy New Year, or should I say, have a great Sunday.