Dear Mr Mod......

Some time ago now, I wrote an entry called "Dear Steve Shaw". It was a very blunt and open entry regarding the behaviour of the owner and admin of SE23.com.
At the time of writing the piece, I had had a number of fallings out with Mr Shaw, and I was part of a new beginning for a local forum for the area.

SE23.life was born, and the pissing contest begun. Most stones being thrown from .com at .life, and a few low blows along the way, with Wikipedia being edited, porn links being posted, and reports being made to the local authority for posting a few flyers up.

When I wrote the piece, Mr Mod was delighted, and felt the tone was fair and just, and raised topics which seemed to have gone under the radar for the majority. All is fair in love and war so they say.

However, as time has gone by, myself and Mr Mod have grown apart. Differences in opinions on religious and political matters to name just a couple of the subjects which have caused much debate. Sadly due to me confessing to mental health issues, and choosing to step back from the forum a number of times, first from Moderator, then as a user, I have for some reason been deemed unstable, and this has been to topic of many a personal snipe and attack on the forum ever since.

When I first stepped back, I was unhappy with comments being made about lower income families, and the proposed social cleansing of the area, with Mr Mod expressing that people who could not afford to pay their rent themselves should move to an area they can afford, and make space for those more affluent.  For someone who has come from a low income family, and lived in the area all my life, that is a bitter pill to swallow.

When I finally decided to leave the forum once and for all, and felt my name had been dragged through the mud enough, I asked for my posts to be deleted. I was told this was technically possible, but was a lot of work, and did I really want to damage some well established threads by rendering them unreadable.

So my presence was now undesirable, but the conversations I had started when I was in favour, well they could stay. Trying not to rock the cart too much, I agreed to leave my posts be.

I have attempted to engage in various conversations on the forum since this time, but for some reason, Mr Mod sees any comments opposing his opinions as "personal attacks". In fact on a number of occasions, both via PM and more recently on a lesser read forum section, Mr Mod has taken it upon himself to claim to be the victim of personal attacks himself, all the while throwing stone after stone of accusation at my name.  Usually in these cases, the right to reply has been removed by closing the discussion, only allowing people of certain forum privileges to be able to comment. Needless to say, these spats have gone on and on.

On the matter of personal attacks, the same topic arises time and time again, which is a conversation which was had on Facebook and Facebook Messenger regarding some activities by a group of Muslims during Eid. The story made the news, as heavy rain had washed the blood of morning sacrifices into the streets, and a photo showed the streets "running red with blood".

While happily discussing this with a friend on FB, Mr Mod added his opinions, and begun expressing his disgust at the event. Fair enough, it is not to everyones taste.  However as the comments became stronger, I received a message from Mr Mod on FB Messenger , expressing his surprise and shock that I, as an owner of a few dogs, would make excuses for such a barbaric act, and telling me how medieval the behaviour of the Muslims featured in the story was.
As the conversation went on, in my opinion, it became apparent that Mr Mod has some deep seated issues with Islam, so I ended the conversation, and later blocked him from my FB.

Later posts on the forum from Mr Mod have time and time again brought into question his stance on Islam and Muslims. With links being posted to extremism stories, followed by a "disclaimer" saying that not all Muslims are bad, and most are fine. Might as well add "I have a friend who is a Muslim" just for good measure.

So back to personal attacks, it is this exchange which is used as the example each time. Vaguely touching upon the actual story, but instead focusing on "sharing private messages without permission, and misquoting what was actually said". Strangely, although I am asked to provide the whole story or say nothing, as soon as I mention anti Islam comments, suddenly I am making another personal attack. Ignoring the fact that I have just been asked to quote.... Strange.

Now, a while back I rejoined the forum, new name, trying to keep things lower key, but still have an opinion. All was well until clever Mr Mod recognised the IP and suddenly everything I said was being negative, or having a personal dig (again!).
Since this time, things have gotten bad, I mean real bad. With myself and a number of other forum members being "identified" as trouble makers, and it would seem, been subject of a number of private discussions.

While it is fair to say that I will "poke the bear" from time to time, (stealing the expression from someone else I saw use it today), it is always with a little wink, and in no means is it personal. However, this is not how it is perceived. Instead warnings are sent, strongly worded PM's sent, and more often than not, a discussion begins, in which I am usually not allowed to participate, even though it is on a public forum. Topics will skew violently from the actual matter at hand, to the behaviour of certain forum members, expressing how the comments were made as personal attacks, and that enough warnings have been given.

The strange part about this is, a personal attack will be made, openly and violently, stating that Mr Mod believes the comments made originally were a personal attack on himself. Can you keep up with this? I am not sure even I am keeping up with myself here. It's all a bit too strange to explain, let alone comprehend from the outside.

The big issue here is quite simple. If a topic has a comment made on it, with which Mr Mod agrees, all is well. However, if he has shown an interest in it, and you DISagree, then you are stirring trouble, being personal and trying to derail the topic, and disrupt a meaningful discussion with your negativity. Apparently quoting someone, and "calling them out" on their comments, something Mr Mod does on a VERY regular basis, usually with very condescending overtones, you are a bully, and are trying to silence people. Oh the irony!

The biggest issue for me is this. I love the area I live in, and have lived here all my memorable life. Unlike some who are new to the area, welcome gentrification, and don't like people who do not share the same ideals. So to have someone like this start a forum, which has grown be become friendly, successful and a great tool for the area. Only for them to then start to preach their beliefs on it, and try and suggest those who disagree are bullies, is a real shame.

What has become apparent over recent weeks, is that there is a small group of users on the forum who too get the same treatment, snide little comments,strongly worded PM's and it would appear that there are suspicions of some sort of "plan" to cause the downfall of the forum. All very MI6 I must say. The levels of self importance really are at a whole new level. To think that grown adults would take the time to organise some sort of coup, to overthrow Mr Mod, and destroy a community forum we all helped build.

When having a rant about these plans, Mr Mod will regularly say how he will not stand by and watch others destroy what he and "the team" have created. Forgetting of course that I was once one of the "team" and contributed a lot of time and thought into the whole thing myself. Including starting some of the popular threads on the forum, which to this day are still active. However I don't think he has actually forgotten, more conveniently excludes these pieces of information when trying to belittle me and others. After all, these are the same threads which he desperately wants to keep on the forum, along with my other posts. As proven by the guilt trip comments when I first asked to be deleted from the forum.

What has become even more apparent is that I have no place on a shared platform with Mr Mod. Especially one owned, and governed  by someone who I would describe as an egotistical megalomaniac. Only my opinion of course. Unable to differentiate between being a user and the owner of the forum, posts cross from being a user to a mod, to admin, to the OWNER of the forum on a regular basis.  While berating others for "liking" posts which contain comments which are deemed personal attacks (not permitted by community guidelines), Mr Mod continues to cheer for any corner which sticks up for him, and openly "likes" the posts which are made in retaliation in his name.


With this in mind, and given the constant mental strain placed upon me by the ongoing bullshit that spews from Team Mod, I have decided it is time for me to leave the forum once and for all. A request will soon be made to SE23.life , asking that all my user data, including my public posts be removed with immediate effect. Not sure how GDPR backs me on this one, but I think regardless of law and legislation, it would be the decent and correct thing to do. Although I am sure this will meet some resistance along the way, and my name will be dragged through the mud.

I thought it would be nice, before of course I am banned for life from ever viewing the forum again, to share a few of the charming messages I have been sent. Rules and regulations I have been told I must abide by if I wish to be part of the community, and the consequences of not doing so. No paranoia or ego at work in this one.

Michael,
The mod team is here to ensure that everyone gets an equal say on local issues.
We will moderate comments that do not follow the forum guidelines 1, and whilst we allow pseudonyms on SE23.life moderators will pay particular attention to posts from all unverified accounts due to the risks associated with sock puppetry.
Here are some points to bear in mind:

• If you’d like to get verified (for the second time), you will need to adopt your old account, @Snazy or rename your new account to @MichaelSnasdell. Our verification system is designed to avoid sock puppets.

• The forum has a right to know that two accounts belong to the same person when that person expresses opinions about local planning matters or businesses. Consider your future posts with this in mind.

• If you publicise private messages from other forum members to make points against them you will be instantly and permanently banned.

• If you choose to leave the forum for a fourth time, you will not announce it in the forum but instead you will privately message the moderators, and your account will be anonymised and deactivated.

Please respect the guidelines and the positive and cooperative community that you helped build.
Thanks,
SE23.life Team

My reply was

Well I have to say, with the hope of making a clean start and leave the whole past behind, the message seems very negative with the comments about leaving the forum for the forth time etc.
Totally up to you, although I would prefer if you were just as transparent as you wish me to be, and say if you would rather I not participate, rather than some the personal snipes above.
With regards to making my new account into my own name, this is not something which has been demanded of others by the looks of things, even with unverified accounts.
I am however of course more than happy to say openly who I am.
Like I say, your forum, your decision. If the above is not acceptable, then I guess it is decided.

Obviously, I was wrong, I did't understand the reasons for these extra rules, so it was explained to me in detail.

Hello Michael,
You may have misunderstood the first message. We will treat your @TheNewGuy account in the same fair way that we would any other known second account.
We value transparency on this forum. Next time you want to make a clean start we’d recommend you do so transparently rather than adopting an artificial persona.
Using a single account under a pseudonym is acceptable, though, as many others do.
However, bear in mind that we scrutinise all anonymous unverified accounts that choose to dominate topics on sensitive issues (e.g. planning), especially when those anon accounts repeatedly and forcefully state their opinion and cast negative aspersions on other members with different opinions:

• “All just seems a bit snobby the way people are going on.”

• “Not sure why people are getting so uptight about it. Why doesn’t one of you open a more appropriate shop if you know better?”

• “Maybe the area isn’t as good or attractive as some would like to believe.”

• “such a negative audience. Forums aren’t for everyone.”

• “a small group of people on a forum saying negative things”

• “stamping all over a new business venture because they use mopeds, and you don’t like their pizza.” [no other commenter said they didn’t like Domino’s pizza]

• “I get it, people don’t want a Dominos on their pretty main road row of shops.”

I hope you understand why this pattern of posting might be seen as problematic by any reasonable mod team.
The mod team is happy for you to return to the forum and contribute positively and respectfully.
We will reactivate your @Snazy account if you wish to use a verified account here. If you wish to remain anonymous and unverified, that is fine too. We will moderate your posts in the same even-handed way that we moderate other accounts.
If you wish to leave the forum again, we ask that you PM us and we will anonymise your posts.
Please respect the guidelines and the positive tone of the forum, where you are most welcome.
SE23.life Team

A lot of the comments and "concerns" were based on a forum thread about a plan for a Domino's Pizza in Honor Oak, how very dare they, Honor Oak is a quaint village with no place for such common businesses, let alone a chain. With exception of course to Sainsburys, who are welcome. And heavens forbid a Waitrose were to open, well that would be the icing on the cake, a true sign of gentrification if there ever was one. But alas.....

The original thread re Domino's was here. Lots of negative NIMBY comments made, so I added some more positive comments, suggesting it was not all bad, and why should a business be chased away because it doesn't fit someones agenda.

https://se23.life/t/dominos-honor-oak-park/6855

Of course, once I had re-joined the forum, and openly commented supporting the plan, it was time for the shit to REALLY hit the fan. This is where it all became rather apparent that the rules of the forum, for some at least are , do as I say, not as I do.
A new section called Moderator Actions was opened, and a thread started, apparently about the Domino's thread, however it quickly became apparent that Mr Mod had other plans. A character assassination of his very own. Swiftly turning the topic away from Domino's , a series of accusations begun, and the onslaught begun. Post after post, calling me out on my comments, refusing to believe that they were just my own feelings, and instead somehow turning them into the "personal attack" he likes to refer to all the time. Have a look for yourself.

https://se23.life/t/intervention-on-second-dominos-topic/8648

I have a saved copy of the page, just in case it disappears, or posts are edited over and over as they usually are, removing offensive or threatening content. Just like the FB post.

I could go on like this for hours, of course this is only my side of the story, and I am sure Mr Mod has a fantastic tale to tell, quotes to share, and interpretations of comments made which will make your toes curl.

I will close on saying, SE23.life is a great concept, an invaluable tool to the community, and a fantastic way to socialise and get to know more about the area and its people. Sadly, as a growing number of people are starting to feel, the head honcho has issues. While the public persona is likeable and friendly, behind the scenes he is a paranoid, and rude individual, almost the textbook definition of a sociopath. While seemingly adored by some, the same cannot be said for others. Although present Mr Mod with this information, and you will be told that they are jealous, and are trying to damage his good standing in the community. Trying to undo all the good he has done, blah blah blah.

Every time someone speaks out against one of his beliefs, they suffer the wrath of his other personality. Most opting to just sit back, shut up, and do as they are told, in order to have some sort of input into the forum. With a growing list of displeased users, I can only hope that something changes soon, and the forum is allowed to breathe, and behave normally, without the constant nursing it currently has.


Since writing and publishing this blog entry I have received notification from Mr Mod stating the following.

"it’s potted with lies. Lies intended to defame my character. I take defamation very seriously. Take down the post within an hour or I’ll raise this with the authorities."

I of course take such comments seriously, and am happy to address any specific comments made by myself which are deemed and proven as defamatory.


UPDATE.
Following a discussion with someone I respect very much, I have edited the post to remove the names. Please don't let this be confused with complying with any threats I have received.